Evan pushed to his feet. Shaking off the memories before they could knock him to his knees. Instead, he embraced the realization that had flooded in with the message.
It didn’t matter if he’d made a mistake years ago. What mattered was the here and now. Confusion and fear had snuck in, and he’d let them steal the joy he and Amy could have been sharing.
They had been apart for too long. There couldn’t be more secrets between them, either. It was time the past stopped getting in their way. Time he stopped getting in their way.
Because only once he and Amy were truly mates could they find what their future was supposed to look like.
Amy lay curled on the couch in utter misery. She reached into the cookie package, grumbling discontentedly when she discovered nothing left but crumbs.
The three containers of Häagen-Dazs on the coffee table were empty as well.
What a wonderful way to spend an afternoon. Not.
She laid her head on the back cushion and fought the urge to cry. This wasn’t her. She was a strong, powerful individual—
Who was absolutely devastated and lonely.
None of it made sense. Evan wasn’t paying any attention to her now, and while she understood part of it was her own fault, it also wasn’t. She’d never once heard of a mate turning away from another unless they did it deliberately. She’d been hiding, and Evan had let her, and now she didn’t know how to turn things around.
It seemed she knew how to speak everyone’s language except his. The pain in her heart expanded a bit more.
The front door of her house jerked open, and Amy jumped to her feet. Shaun stomped across the room to get in her face. “You’re an idiot.”
It would’ve been funny if she weren’t already on the edge of breaking. “Thanks so much for your unasked-for opinion. Close the door on the way out.”
Shaun shook his head and finger at the same time. “Oh, no, you’re not getting out of this that easily. You’re making him miserable. So you decided not to destroy him financially. Great. Instead you’ll just rip his heart out. That’s so human of you.”
Amy turned her back on him. “You know nothing about what’s going on.”
“I know nothing? Me?” Shaun laughed. “Maybe I don’t have all the details, but if I’m a pot, you’re the kettle.”
“What am I being such an idiot about then? Since you obviously want to tell me.”
Shaun glared. “You say you want what’s best for the pack. That’s all Evan has ever wanted his entire bloody life. Even in the past, before he should’ve had to worry about it, he gave everything for the pack.”
“Not now. He’s doing the things least positive for everyone. It’s as if he sees one solution, and he refuses to try anything else. Hell, he was so out of line he scared one of my pack into moving away.” Colin Wheeler had sent her a farewell note along with word he’d asked for a transfer to Ottawa.
His rapid departure from the area had hurt. She’d failed someone who had given her their trust. Frustration was too mild a word for how devastated her wolf had been.
“If Evan was this stubborn years ago, maybe that’s why he ended up killing innocent people.” It was a shitty thing to say, but she was pushed beyond exasperation.
At her bitter words, Shaun froze. His fists were clenched tight at his hips, and he spoke slowly, attempting to maintain control. “Jeez. Has he still not told you what happened?”
Amy shook her head. “Every time I ask him he insists it’s too soon.”
“Ah, for fuck’s sake.” Shaun dropped onto the couch, his anger cooling. “Don’t I feel like the ass of the century. I thought he’d told you everything, and you were being an ice-bitch.”
“Tell me,” Amy begged, squatting in front of him. “I keep trying to think of a reason I can accept. It’s killing me, being tossed between two minds. I want to trust Evan, but he’s doing his best to frustrate me and, along with me, the packs.”
Shaun shook his head. “I can’t tell you. Don’t get me wrong. Now I want to, more than ever, but that’s his job. Only I agree, he needs to tell you now.”
Amy gave a frustrated snort as she turned away. “Good luck with that. I’ve asked, and I’ve asked, but it seems I’m not to be trusted. Which I understand, but our discord is bleeding into the packs, and I can’t seem to stop it.”
When Shaun spoke this time, his attitude was quieter and less confrontational. “He trusts you on one level. I don’t understand why he’s not trusting you with this.” Shaun looked her in the eye. “I’ll talk to him. But I need to tell you something I know he won’t share. Evan is all about pack. He’s all about everybody else, and not himself. He told you he challenged Kirk a number of times?”
Amy nodded, the tightness in her chest still there. “He challenged his Alpha before he tried anything else. I heard. So what? He said he tried twice, and then the third time he ended up…” She couldn’t say it.
For the first time Shaun willingly laid a hand on hers. “He was only thirteen the first time he made that challenge. Kirk took it as an insult, but the fight was more than expected, and it took Kirk nearly an hour to break Evan’s arm. Two years later when Evan tried again, Kirk had planned ahead. He knew he’d never win in a fair challenge. He had a group of his flunkies, all of them Beta level, beat the crap out of Evan. They left him for dead.”
Agony ripped through her at the thought of a youth that age being so abused. “God.”
Shaun nodded. “He kept trying, Amy. He didn’t succeed in any of the normal ways, and in the end he did what he had to do.”
The Beta rose to his feet.
“Wait.” Amy took a deep breath. “Thank you for telling me.”
“We all have history. It’s part of what makes us who we are.” Shaun shrugged. “I’ve had a pretty easy life of it, really. Sometimes I forget that. Take it for granted.”
Pain hovered, only this time for different reasons. Her troubles, Evan’s, her brother’s lost opportunities. “It’s never easy to leave the past behind.”
Shaun was tugging the front door open before she could say anything else. He paused and turned back to face her where she stood only paces behind him. “For what it’s worth, I don’t hate your guts anymore. Maybe.”
She smiled even though it hurt. “You’re still an ass. But that’s part of what makes you unique.”
He slipped out the door, his laughter fading in the distance.
She stood there, trying to figure out the best thing to do right here and now. She was to blame for some of the trouble. Evan had to take responsibility for some of it as well.
But nothing was going to get accomplished if they weren’t in the same room at the same time. She reached for the phone, her fingers shaking as she hit his number.
He answered on the first ring. “Amy?”
It might be difficult but it was the right thing to do. “Can you come over? I have something to tell you.”
Tires squealed in the background.
“You okay?” she asked.
“No problem. I’ll be there in five minutes.” He hung up before she could say anything else.
Oh boy.
Amy looked down. She’d pulled on comfy clothes to have her pity party, and her worn flannel pyjamas and fluffy slippers made her look about twelve years old.
What the hell. He was coming to see her, not some slinky outfit. In fact, the last thing she wanted was to distract him.
This wasn’t about letting the wolves take charge, it was about finally getting to the truth so they could move forward, or be brave enough to call it off altogether. Yes, they needed to get this done for the pack’s sake, but more than that, this was their future happiness on the line.