My mate.
Those were two words I never thought I’d be saying. In fact, as women came and went from my life, I always thought of myself as happy. The elders’ stories about mating for life were a bunch of legends to try and scare the younger wolves into settling down.
But the moment I stared into Lana’s eyes, I was lost. And the moment I touched her skin something inside of me recognized her.
It didn’t make any sense. Maybe my instincts were off. Human women who could be converted into wolves, those were our mates. This was a woman born a shifter. A jaguar shifter. I’d never even heard of any shifters born female, and certainly there was no record of a wolf mating to one. And yet here she was.
In the end, if I wanted to be with her, I’d have to leave the Pack behind. They killed jaguars. They didn’t welcome them into our Pack. They’d never accept Lana. And what if they found her now? They’d think she killed Gabe. It wouldn’t matter that she was a woman or that I recognized her as my mate. She was a jaguar.
I passed my fingers through my hair as exhaustion settled onto my shoulders with a vengeance. Seeing her sleeping, breathing in her scent. This was where I belonged. I set the deadbolt latch on the door and took off my jacket. Draping it over the back of the desk chair, I clicked off the light and walked over to the bed. I should go home. I had appointments to keep at the barn in a few hours. But instead I lay down beside her.
Lana moaned softly and rolled over, snuggling against my chest, and the anger and jealousy that had poisoned me earlier lifted, clearing away the shadows. I slid my arm around her, holding her close as I bent to kiss her hair. Even after the rough day we had, she still smelled like sunshine.
And she fit in my arms like she was made for me to hold her.
My wolf had staked its claim on this beautiful, intelligent woman, and somehow I had to figure out how make it work.
Chapter Eleven
Lana
I opened my eyes to find myself nuzzled against a gorgeous chiseled chest. Maybe I was still dreaming. Taking in a deep breath, I realized pretty fast it wasn’t a dream. It was Adam.
I shifted a little so I could see his face. His hair was mussed up and his face was pale. Even with his eyes closed, they were puffy and red. I knew I hadn’t dozed off until around four a.m. What time did he come back to my room?
Without waking him, I shimmied out from under his arm, holding my breath when he started to stir. Once he settled again, I got up and opened my laptop. While it booted up, I headed into the bathroom area and started up the coffeemaker by the sink. I hated coffee, but figured Adam might like it, and he’d probably need it after yesterday.
When I came back around the corner he was looking right at me. A squeak escaped me as I jumped back.
He smiled. “Jumpy much?”
“I thought you were still sleeping.”
“I was, but someone else got up.” He sat and stretched. “I’ve gotta get back to the barn anyway. We’ve got a broodmare coming out this morning to see Bruce.”
I raised a brow. “A broodmare? Okay, you lost me.”
He bent over to pull on his hiking boots. “I’m a horse trainer. Bruce is a stallion I train, and his stud fees pay for his training.”
“You really do ride horses for a living.” I didn’t know anyone could still make a living at horses unless they were racehorses. As far as I knew cowboys were long gone.
“Sure do.” He nodded. “I’m not independently wealthy, Lana. I’ve gotta work just like everyone else.” He laced up his boots.
“I guess I really don’t know very much about you.”
“I wish I could take you to the ranch.”
“I love horses. I used to wish for a pony when I was little.” My lips curved in a bittersweet smile. “Santa never did bring me one, though.”
He stood up, sniffed the air, and peered over at me with a cocked brow. “Did you make coffee?”
“Oh, yeah.” I glanced at the tiny coffeemaker. “It’s almost done if you want some before you go.”
“Nah, I don’t like coffee much.”
“Me neither,” I replied. He laughed. What a great sound. I couldn’t help but smile.
He walked over and pulled me into his arms like it was the most natural thing in the world, like we’d been together for years instead of days. I returned the embrace, enjoying the warmth of his body.
“I’m sorry about being so stubborn last night,” I said against his chest.
“I don’t want anything to happen to you.” He stepped back and met my eyes. “I found his trail last night, but I lost him downtown. Did you find anything?”
“I may have. I’m not sure yet.” I took his hand, trying to ignore the sparks that slid up my arm from the contact as I pulled him over to my laptop. “I found a news story about a man in Temecula who survived what he claims was a jaguar attack. ’Course there aren’t any jaguars in California, so no one believes him. I emailed him. We’ll see what happens. Beyond that, I couldn’t find any links between jaguars and business organizations, Nero or otherwise, but…” I hesitated, ratcheting up my courage to share a little more of myself with him, and hating how insecure it made me feel. “There’s something else.”
Adam sat down, resting his elbows on his knees. “What is it?”
“That tattoo I told you about? The one of the lion head… I’ve seen it before.”
He frowned leaning back in the chair. “What?”
“Yeah, it’s the same emblem that’s on the sweatshirt I was wrapped in when Texas social services took me in as a baby.”
“Holy shit.” He rocked back in the chair, crossing his arms over his chest while he mulled over the new information. I could almost see the cogs turning. Finally, he met my gaze again. “This is big. How come you didn’t say anything before?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Between learning I’m not who or what I thought I was, and constantly having to watch over my shoulder for trouble, I didn’t want to add this to the mix.”
I dropped my gaze to my laptop, feeling a wave of tears lurking. I willed them back, but Adam reached forward, catching my chin. When I met his eyes, I didn’t see the pity I expected. Only kindness reflected back at me.
“What is it? Your secret is safe with me.”
A huge lump of emotion filled my chest, pressing against my heart. I swiped a stray tear, rolling my eyes. “You’d think I’d be over all this by now, but the mental image of me being given up to the state in only a diaper and a big sweatshirt is like the ultimate reminder that no one wanted me.”
Adam pulled me into his arms, and I didn’t fight the comfort. Sitting on his knee, I breathed him in while he kissed my hair.
“We’re going to figure out what happened to them.” He pulled back enough to see my face. “I don’t know why you ended up where you did, but it is not because you didn’t deserve a family.” He bent closer to me, and I tipped my chin up, feeling his breath on my skin. His lips brushed mine so slow and tender that my breath caught in my throat. He rested his forehead against mine. “You deserve to be loved.”
My heart lurched at his words, and I settled my head against his chest. They were kind words, I reminded myself. That was all. I’d heard kind words before, and they usually came before someone walked out the door. And the kiss…that kiss. My lips still tingled, wanting more of his attention.
I wiped my eyes, collecting myself. Clearing my throat, I got up and sat on the bed, facing him again. I needed a little distance from him and all the emotions he stirred within me. Keeping the walls secure around my heart was my self-preservation, my only defense.
“So, I guess I better get started tracking down my records to see if they lead me any closer to my parents.” I rubbed my hands on my jeans and glanced over at him.