“Stop!”
I stepped back, glaring at Jason.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Jason spat.
“Nothing until you started getting in my face with your hotter-than-horseshit attitude.”
“My attitude?” Jason pointed at his own chest, and then shook his head. “You know what? Fuck you, Adam. I’m done with this. I’m going to go check on Aren’s ankle, and I’m outta here.”
I stared at him as he walked up to the house, getting a little satisfaction that he was covered in dirt. Asshole.
When he vanished into the house I turned and found Luke staring right at me. “What?”
“I don’t know, but you’re acting crazy,” he said.
I started to open my mouth to deny it, then closed it again and shook my head. “I have a lot on my mind, and I don’t need Jason reminding me that Gabe’s dead. I’ll never forget that, and it pisses me off he thinks I might.”
“Tonight’s the full moon.”
“I know.” Apparently Luke was eager to change the subject. Suited me just fine.
“Are you going to change with the Pack?”
“Yeah, I am.” I nodded and glanced at the barn. “But then I’m probably going to have to leave for a while. I need you to take care of the horses for me.”
Luke followed my gaze and nodded. “Sure. When will you be back?”
I stared at the dirt, felt like dirt. “I’m not sure yet. Could be a while though.”
His brow furrowed. “What? Why?”
“You saw what happened with Jason. I’m wound too tight right now. I need to figure out how to make things right again.”
“Did you break up with the lady I saw the other night?”
I knew I had to lie to him now. When did I get to be such a spineless shit? I sighed and ran my fingers back through my now dusty hair.
“Her name is Lana.”
He smiled a little. “Pretty name.”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Gorgeous lady, too.”
“I didn’t really see much of her before she took off. So is she your girlfriend like Teri was?”
I knew I should lie, but it felt so good to finally be telling someone about Lana without having them tell me she’s wrong for me. I looked him in the eyes. “She’s nothing like Teri. I’m in love with Lana.”
Luke’s eyes widened before he buried his surprise and rolled his shoulders back. “So when do we get to meet her?”
“I don’t know.” I hated sinking back into the lying sack of shit, but I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t tell him I wasn’t coming back. “I hope soon.”
“Are you leaving with her?”
“Yeah, but that’s just between us. Aren and Malcolm don’t need to know, okay?”
Luke lowered his eyes. I knew he didn’t like it. I was asking too much of him and his loyalty. He’d crack under my father’s pressure, but I’d be long gone by then. I reached out and gripped his shoulder.
“Let me be the one to tell them, all right? I don’t want them to hear it from someone else.”
He nodded. “I can do that.”
I pulled him in and gave him a firm hug. “Thanks Luke.”
Jason was coming out of the house as I was going in. He didn’t make eye contact and started to go around me.
“Hey, Jason?”
He stopped and finally looked at me but he didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry.” Then I added, “I was an asshole.”
He nodded. “A raging asshole.”
“I’ve got a lot on my mind. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
“Whatever is going on with you and Aren, we’re family, remember? We take care of our own.”
“I know.” I started to smile. “Sorry I confused it with beating the crap out of our own.”
“Hey, you didn’t even leave a mark.” Jason started to grin. “I could have taken you if I wanted to.”
I held out my hand, and he reached out to clasp my forearm. “Thanks for taking care of Aren.”
Jason nodded, his hair falling over his eyes. “Tell Malcolm about the jaguars.”
“I will.”
But I would leave out the jaguar who mattered most. The one I was about run away with, leaving the Pack behind for good.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Lana
I drove aimlessly until I finally ran out of tears. Numbness filled the gaping hole, dulling the ache of knowing I was leaving the only man I’d ever really loved. I knew it was for the best in the long run, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. I should have been looking for a place to hide. Sasha was still somewhere, searching for me. But it was hard to give a crap about tomorrow when I knew Adam wouldn’t be a part of it. My heart hurt so badly it felt like it might burn out of my chest.
I pulled into a coffee shop and borrowed their Wi-Fi connection, checking email, and calculating my PayPal balance. Any mundane task I could dredge up became of utmost importance. I needed to take my mind off of the time clicking away, each minute bringing me closer to leaving. My red-eye flight was due to take off out of Reno at ten p.m. I figured I’d drop off the Jeep with the note at Adam’s around eight p.m. and catch a cab to the airport. He’d be running with the rest of the Pack. And when they changed back in the morning, I’d be long gone, fading into the masses of people in Chicago.
A couple weeks ago it would have been a great adventure. Tonight I dreaded it.
I slid a couple of bills out of the wad of cash and bought a hot chocolate, a chocolate truffle, and a chocolate chip cookie. Apparently I needed comfort food and lots of it. I pulled up my next article deadline, and then opened Word and stared at the blank document. The cursor blinked, taunting me to write something, anything. I started my letter three separate times, but it was all crap. I sighed and closed my laptop. I couldn’t write while my heart was twisting in a wringer and Nero had a nasty jaguar assassin on my tail.
I slipped my laptop back in the bag and wandered around until I found a blank greeting card with a picture of the sun sparkling on Lake Tahoe. Seeing the peaceful lake reminded me of the day Adam took me there. Before we found Gabe and everything started to unravel around us. That afternoon when he taught me to use my cat senses and patiently waited for me to grasp what I really was inside.
I paid for the card and wrote a note inside for Adam. No matter what I said he wouldn’t be happy, but someday I hoped he’d understand.
Tucking the card in my bag, I went back out to the Jeep and started out of the parking lot when I caught Sebastian’s scent. I pulled into another parking place and got out, scanning the area for the elusive tracker. If he didn’t want me to see him, I was pretty sure I wouldn’t, but I looked anyway.
“Sebastian?” I called, turning around slowly. “I know you’re here.”
Finally I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and spun around. He approached from the shadows behind a dumpster outside a coffee shop.
The corner of his mouth quirked up into a little crooked smile. “You’re getting better at reading your senses. I thought I’d masked my scent by standing near the restaurant waste, but you caught it anyway.”
Wait, was he proud of me? I tried not to let my bewilderment show on my face.
“Why are you still following me?”
“Because Sasha is in Reno.”
I frowned. “Already?”
“The Organization knew I found you here. I’m sure she knew you would return with the wolf.”
“So you’re back to helping me instead of blowing my brains out?”
He raised an arrogant brow that made me want to punch him. “If blowing out your brains was truly my plan, you’d be dead now. How many times do I need to tell you that?”
“You fooled me last night when you held that gun to my head and cocked the trigger.”