His eyes opened and tears clouded my vision. The corner of his mouth curled up slightly as he whispered, “Where’s Aren?”
My brother, already changed into his human form, limped forward. Lana held out her hand to help steady him as he sat down at our father’s side. When Aren took her hand and accepted her help, something inside of me started to crumble.
Of course he would accept her now. Our father had given his blessing, and I was about to become Alpha.
Aren’s eyes met mine, and I knew in that instant that he believed in me. I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t even want it. Not yet.
“Aren,” our father whispered. He reached up to clasp Aren’s cheek, the pad of his thumb sliding over my brother’s skin, leaving a trail of blood behind. “You have made me a very proud father.”
Aren took a deep breath, but his face remained stoic. “I love you, Dad.”
Malcolm started to smile, looking from Aren’s face to mine. “I love you, too. Both of you.” He focused on Aren again. “Watch over your brother and his mate. I know she’s not what any of us expected, but…” His eyes met mine. “I trust Adam’s judgment.”
My heart pounded in my chest. I wasn’t ready to be the Alpha. I still needed my father.
I looked over at Lana, watching her fingers smooth back Malcolm’s silver hair from his forehead. She didn’t look like she even realized she was doing it, but she cared for others more than herself. She was going to be an amazing mother to our children. God… Our children. We were going to have a family.
I was going to be a father.
But I wanted my father to live to see it. I needed my father.
“I will always be with you, Adam,” he whispered.
I smiled as a tear escaped the corner of my eye. “How do you do that?”
His eyes sparkled. “What?” He knew exactly what I was asking.
“How do you know what we’re thinking?”
“You’ll soon find out. Being Alpha comes from your heart and soul, son, not an instruction manual.”
“What if I can’t do it?”
He took my hand. His skin felt cold.
Lana looked over at Jason. “Can you get something to cover Malcolm please?”
Jason nodded and headed in the direction of the downed Nero team.
How did she know what I wanted before I even asked? Could everyone do that but me?
My father smiled up at me, his voice now a whisper. “If you ever need help, turn to your mate. There is a bond between you that will make both you and your Pack stronger.”
Jason came back with a few shirts and a windbreaker. He and Aren covered Malcolm, and I watched his eyes drift closed again. His breathing got more rapid, thinner. Jason took his pulse and our eyes met.
“Not long,” Jason mouthed.
I squeezed my eyes shut against the tears that threatened. Kneeling beside my father, I took his hand, holding it tight. “I’m sorry, Dad.”
“For what?” he murmured without opening his eyes.
“For never paying attention when you tried to teach me things. I’m sorry I spent so much time being a selfish bastard.”
His eyes opened, and he gave me one last smile. For a moment he looked like he did so many times when he stood in my house telling me to grow up and stop wasting my life. The weight of how much I was going to miss him cut through me like a dagger.
“I always knew you would be there when I needed you most.” He gave my hand a weak squeeze. “I need you now. The Pack needs you.” His breath hitched, and his lips pulled back in pain. “Lana needs you,” he wheezed. “Tell my grandchildren I loved them before they were even born.”
I pulled him into my arms, holding him tight, as if I could force his spirit to stay inside his ailing body. “Don’t go. Please.” I heard his breathing get shallower and panic seized me. “Please, no. Dad, I need you. No.”
I heard his last breath, and then he was still. I held him tight, oblivious to the wind that stung my bitter tears. The Pack circled us and howled at the moon, singing my father’s soul to the other side.
…
Back at the barn, I stared at my father’s face. He looked peaceful, like he was only sleeping, but he wasn’t ever going to wake up. The pyre was built out back, and tonight we would celebrate his life and finish the ceremony by cremating his remains. I hadn’t slept. I couldn’t.
I had left Lana sleeping in my…our bedroom. She’d worked right beside me all through the night, helping the Pack dispose of the bodies and all other evidence of the fight with Nero. Knowing she was close helped me focus on the work. I’m sure she had plenty she wanted to say to me, but she didn’t push. I also knew I probably should say something to her about the twins—or at least I figured they would be twins. It was in our natures—and about me being the Alpha now. But I didn’t have time for words, and somehow she seemed to understand.
When we had first gotten back to the ranch, we’d fallen right into bed. At some point Lana drifted off, but I kept staring at the bruises and cuts around her tiny wrists. We never found Sasha’s body, but we assumed she was part of the death toll. Lana had seen Aren drag her away—her remains could’ve been left for scavengers. I didn’t ask him outright if he’d finished her, but I didn’t have to. He would’ve told me if she’d escaped.
Sebastian slipped away. He may have gotten away in the Nero van, or maybe he ran during the fight. It didn’t matter right now.
The sun was rising. A new day. I stood in my barn with all I had left of my father. His empty shell.
“Couldn’t sleep?”
I turned around to see my brother, on crutches, making his way down the barn aisle. I nodded and focused back on Malcolm. “Yeah.” Aren pulled a stool over and sat beside me. I shook my head. “I still can’t believe he’s gone.”
Aren nodded. “Me neither.” He paused and looked over at me. “I’m glad you told him about Lana.”
“He wasn’t happy about it at first.”
Aren shrugged. “If I brought home a jaguar for a mate, you wouldn’t have been happy for me at first either.”
I thought about it and had to agree. “I guess you’re right.”
“She was amazing last night,” Aren said quietly. “In spite of everything, she never lost her head.”
“So you trust her now?”
He nodded. “With my Alpha’s life.”
My shoulders tensed. “Don’t call me that.” I looked at our father and blinked hard to hold back the bitter tears. “Not yet.”
Aren rested a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “You acted like an Alpha last night.”
“I cried like a boy who lost his father.”
“You were. So was I. Doesn’t make you any less of an Alpha.” His hand lifted from my shoulder as he went on. “None of us were thinking straight last night. We never would have cleared the lake of the evidence. In the chaos, the wolves would have scattered and met back here. But we stayed and we made the right choices because you did, Adam. In spite of the pain and fear and rage, you put the Pack first.”
I clenched my jaw to bite back the wave of emotions brewing inside of me. I met Aren’s eyes and whispered, “I was going to leave this morning with Lana. I wasn’t putting the Pack first then.”
Aren shook his head. “You wouldn’t have gone.”
“You’re wrong. I was ready. We were going to leave this morning to draw Nero away from Reno.”
He was quiet for a moment, and I watched for any sign of how he was feeling, but Aren’s face was a mask. Finally he looked up from Malcolm and met my eyes. “Are you still leaving?”
His question jarred me. “I don’t know.”
Aren’s brow furrowed, and he shot up off the stool, wincing in pain when he put weight on his injured ankle.