“You don’t know?” he fumed, grabbing a crutch to lean on. “You selfish asshole. How can you say that, Adam? If you leave now, then you leave the Pack with me, an injured Alpha. You remember what that means, right?”
“What does it mean?”
We both turned and saw Lana walking toward us. Her dark hair was mussed from sleeping and she looked exhausted, but somehow in spite of all that, she had a glow of natural beauty that blinded me.
Aren glared at me and then answered Lana. “If he doesn’t become the Alpha of our Pack, then I would be next in line. Since I can’t lead the Pack right now, one of the others would have to step forward.”
I finished it for him. “Once they step forward, they have to fight Aren to the death for the Alpha spot unless he agrees to leave Pack territory.”
Lana’s eyes widened. “What?”
Aren nodded and snatched up his other crutch. He kissed her cheek as he passed by and growled, “Please knock some sense into my idiot brother.”
Chapter Forty-Three
Lana
I watched Aren go, trying to steady myself. God, was I so starved for a family that a simple peck on the cheek from Adam’s brother made my heart sing? Apparently the answer was yes, because the small gesture made me feel like part of the family.
Adam was sitting on a stool, facing his father’s body. I couldn’t imagine his pain. I’d always wished for a father, wished I’d even just known who he was. I used to imagine he’d be proud of me. Maybe he was a writer like I was.
But Adam had all of that. And now his father was gone.
I stepped up behind him and massaged his shoulders. They were like cement. His head fell forward, and he moaned. I kissed the back of his neck while I did my best to loosen the knots. I could almost feel the weight of the world resting on his broad shoulders.
“What were you and Aren fighting about?” I figured it was best to approach calmly, casually, though I knew where the conversation would inevitably go. Adam was not leaving his brother here to be killed.
“He was telling me what a great Alpha I was last night, and I let him know that until Malcolm got shot I was planning on leaving with you. Now I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes, breathing him into my lungs. I felt his fingers lightly trace over the bruises from the handcuffs.
“They’re never going to leave us alone, Lana. Nero will be back.”
I didn’t want to think about Nero or the blood and body parts we cleaned up last night. I wanted to pretend we were a normal couple, just for a little while. I opened my eyes and saw Malcolm pale and motionless on the pyre. I couldn’t hide from this though.
The horses nickered as I moved around to sit next to Adam. “I wish I had the right answer, Adam. I feel like I’m just treading water, trying not to sink into panic. So many questions are rattling around in my head. Your Dad can’t be right about me being pregnant. You haven’t bitten me. I don’t even know if that would work since I’m already a different kind of…animal. And now that he’s gone, you can’t leave with me. You have to stay here and lead the Pack. They need you.”
He took my hand and looked over at me. “But I can’t do this without you.”
My eyes were already raw from crying, but they brimmed with tears again anyway. “Your Pack will never be safe if I’m here.”
His green eyes narrowed. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you again, Lana.”
“Then you’ll spend the rest of your life fighting them.”
“No.” He leaned over and kissed me so soft and slow that my heart ached. I opened my eyes again, and his gaze held mine, demanding my attention. “I will spend the rest of my life loving you.”
A tear spilled down my cheek. “Your father would be alive right now if it wasn’t for me.”
He cupped my check, brushing away my tear with the pad of his thumb. “If it wasn’t for you, I never would have learned to love anyone but myself.”
“I know Malcolm said I was part of the Pack, but they didn’t get a say in that. Do you think they could ever truly accept me?”
“Aren already has. The rest of them will too. It may take some of them longer than others.”
“They’ll resent me after a few more visits from Nero.”
He shook his head. “We’ll be ready for them in the future. They won’t catch us off-guard again. Plus, we already know what Sasha and Sebastian look like so we’ll watch for them. Don’t underestimate the Pack, Lana. We can protect ourselves.”
“Believe me, I saw the carnage last night.” I stared at my hands. “I was going to leave last night. While you were running with the wolves. I already had a plane ticket to leave for Chicago.”
He was up off the stool so fast that I flinched. “Why? I told you I’d go with you.”
“I didn’t want you to give up your family for me. It wasn’t right, Adam. You’d never be happy without them.”
“So you weren’t even going to give me a choice? You were just going to walk away?”
His words stung. I got up and crossed my arms. “I loved you enough to walk away so you could keep your family. You have the one thing I’ve always wanted. How can I take that from you?”
He shook his head and raked his fingers through his dark hair as he walked over to pat Bruce. “Let me get this straight. I was ready to give up my entire life for you, and you were planning to dump me the entire time.” He looked over his shoulder at me with a disgusted look on his face. “So did you come down here to tell me goodbye, or are you just going to surprise me when you leave?”
“It’s not like that. I didn’t want to hurt you or your family.”
He spun on me. “What part of I love you did you miss? When I told you that, I meant it. You didn’t think it would hurt when I found out you were gone? You didn’t think it would rip my heart out to find you left me while I was a wolf and vanished without a trace? I thought we were a team. I trusted you.” He looked up toward the sky and shook his head. “I should have listened to them.” His eyes met mine and he whispered, “They told me a jaguar could never love me.”
I couldn’t listen to another word. I turned and ran from the barn, his final stab following me out. “After we made love in the barn,” he called after me, “you said you’d love me forever. What an asshole I was to believe you.”
…
Aren leaned against the doorframe while I jammed the few personal belongings I still had into a bag. For a split second I thought it was Adam, but the crutch and wrapped up ankle gave him away. He raised a brow as I zoomed past him in search of my tennis shoes.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
I’d spent the better part of the last half hour bottling up my feelings and trying to morph them into self-righteous anger. Adam had twisted everything around. I did love him. I loved him enough to leave him. I was being noble, not hurtful. The bastard.
“I’m leaving.”
“Now?” He straightened up on his crutch. “Where are you going?”
“Anywhere but here.” I pulled the sides of the bag together and massaged the zipper until it finally slid over the opening.
“What happened?”
I sighed, trying to keep my rage simmering so I couldn’t fall apart. “I know that he told you we were planning on leaving this morning so we could keep Nero away from the Pack, but—”
“He told me he was leaving because the Pack would never accept his mate.”
“Well, I didn’t want him to do that for me.”
“Did you tell him that?”
I sighed. “I thought so. I don’t know.” Tears were threatening again. I took a deep breath and tossed the bag over my shoulder. “My laptop was in Adam’s Jeep when Sasha shot out the tires. Was it still in there when Luke and Logan went over to tow it back?”