Jason raised a brow, and I could sense him tensing up. I shook off the strange psychic interference. “I want you to know that I know none of this was your fault.”
He started to open his mouth and then closed it again, pondering. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft and low. “I should have backed you up to take him to the hospital. It didn’t matter that he was the Alpha. I should have made him go to the hospital. I could have saved him, Adam.”
I shook my head slowly. “I don’t think you could have.”
“I could have repaired his liver and stopped the bleeding. I know it.”
“You don’t understand. I think Malcolm was ready to cross over. He wanted to die with the Pack and not in the hospital.”
“I’m a doctor, Adam. Patients live when you give them surgery.”
“You were there when my dad was dying. You saw him. He didn’t look frightened or sad. He looked ready.”
“What are you saying?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure what it all means, except that maybe he was waiting for me to find my mate so he could cross over to be with his. You know the Pack never would have accepted Lana without his blessing.”
“Even with his blessing it will be hard to win over a few of them.” Jason stopped and met my eyes. “Is she really pregnant?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure of it.”
“That’s impossible, though, isn’t it?”
“I’ll have to catch you up on her history after the ceremony, but Lana was born into her power.”
His eyes widened. “Also impossible. Only males carry the gene.”
“Until now. Nero was working on a breeding experiment with psychics and jaguars to give birth to females born into their power.”
“So you think because she’s already a shifter, she can carry your child?”
“Just a guess, but after the ceremony, maybe you can check her out and make sure everything is all right?”
He nodded. “Of course.”
“We better get up there.” I said the words, but inside I wished I didn’t have to go. I wished my father were still with me to answer my questions and help me keep my mate safe and my babies strong.
As Jason and I walked back to the barn, I felt very alone, and an icy dagger of fear shot down my spine. I stopped walking and looked back up at the house.
“Everything okay?” Jason asked.
I couldn’t see anything moving, but my senses were on high alert. I took a deep breath, pulling all the scents inside my lungs to process, but nothing specific caught my attention. With a heavy heart, I turned and went back to the pyre with Jason to greet my Pack and say goodbye to my father.
Chapter Forty-Five
Lana
Malcolm’s body rested on top of the large pyre. I stood with Adam at his head, and Aren to Adam’s right. The rest of the Pack took places around Malcolm and waited. I looked up at Adam and wished I could ease his pain. His eyes looked older, heavy with the weight of this task.
Adam took a deep breath and looked at each Pack member with a slow sweep of his gaze. He cleansed Malcolm’s face with oils, and then lifted his head toward the stars. “Tonight we celebrate the life of our Alpha, our leader and friend, my father, Malcolm. He was a counselor, a peacekeeper, and a fierce protector of his own. Now that he has crossed over, I accept his responsibilities to the Pack. I will carry the burdens of our safety and battles on my shoulders.” His voice softened. “I will always keep his memory alive in my heart, and I only hope that I will make him proud of our progress. We offer his spirit back to the moon and the night. May his soul be lifted, free to run with the Pack of our ancestors and watch over those he has left behind.”
Aren stepped forward. “I call to our mother, Martha. Please welcome your mate, and guide our father to the other side.”
One by one the Pack members shared a story of Malcolm and touched the pyre with a torch before passing it to the next. When the torch finally reached me, the fire was already blazing hot. I didn’t realize I would have to speak. I wasn’t ready. I barely knew him, but when the weight of the torch was placed in my hand I called out.
“Thank you for accepting me. I wish our children could know their grandfather.” At that moment something inside of me fluttered. I dropped the torch in surprise. Adam picked it up and tossed it into the fire.
“Are you all right?” he whispered in my ear.
“I think they just kicked.”
He slid his arm around my waist and pulled me in close to his body. Together we watched his father’s body burn until his ashes floated up into the night air, stolen away by the wind. As the fire crumpled into embers, the Pack chanted a melancholy farewell.
With the ceremony over, I helped Aren back up to the house while Adam and the others buried the embers to quiet the fire. Once I had Aren settled on the couch I elevated his ankle and went back to the kitchen to get him some water. On my way back I felt movement inside of me again and nearly dropped the glass. Aren sat up on the sofa, ready to spring into action.
“Everything okay?”
I nodded, rubbing at my stomach with my free hand. “Yeah. I keep thinking I feel the twins kicking, but I know it’s too soon for that.”
“How do you figure?” Aren looked like he was fighting back a smile.
I handed him the glass of water. “Because if I’m actually pregnant, I could only be a couple weeks along. Adam thought he could hear a heartbeat, but even so…”
The door opened behind me, and I smiled when Adam walked in. Jason was following close behind. Funny thing to meet a man when he was naked, now it seemed surprising to see him dressed. I hoped that would go away eventually.
Adam kissed my forehead and smiled over at Aren. “I felt like Dad was there with us tonight. Did you?”
“I think so. I was dreading the ceremony, but once it started…” His voice drifted off, and he shrugged with a slight nod. “It did feel like he was with us. I didn’t feel so much sad as I did proud.”
I looked up at Adam, relieved to see him smiling again.
“Me too,” he said as he glanced down at me. “I brought Jason with me to check on the babies.”
“What?” I frowned, suddenly feeling nervous. I looked over at Jason and then back up at Adam. “Sorry, but I haven’t even taken a pregnancy test yet. And even if it is positive, I’d rather go see an obstetrician.” I peeked over at Jason. “No offense.”
“None taken,” he said with a smug smile.
Adam shook his head. “You can’t go to a regular doctor. You’re not having a regular pregnancy. Besides, the hospital is how Nero found you, remember? All it would take is a red flag on a test that comes out irregular, and they’ll know where you are.”
“They already know,” I argued. “I want a real doctor, Adam.”
Jason stepped forward. “Excuse me, but I am a real doctor.”
“What?” I looked up at his hazel, almost-orange eyes, half expecting his hair to be a mane around him like it had been last night at the lake. He looked tame now with it all tied back. He appeared to be…professional. I sighed. “So you have a medical degree?”
“I do.” He nodded with a sparkle in his eyes. “I even have an office at the hospital. You can come inspect my diploma if you’d like.”
“That won’t be necessary.” I looked down at my hands. “I’m sorry. This is all happening so fast, I can’t keep up.”
Jason nudged Adam. “You haven’t told her, have you?”
“Told me what?”
Jason’s gaze met mine. “I can hear the heartbeats now. We all can.”
My hands went to my abdomen. Was it getting bigger? I looked down, my brow furrowing. I’d hardly eaten anything, but my stomach was definitely pooched out. In one day? Holy crap!