Joanna had kept Greg and his half-brother Douglas separated as much as possible. Over the years it began to seem almost normal that Doug would be away when Greg visited home, and Greg would not be there when Doug was. It was as if she had two different families, one son in each. There were holidays when the three of them were together, briefly, but they were always filled with tension and the fear that Greg might suddenly explode.
He never did. And Doug learned to get along with his older half-brother. It was difficult to dislike Doug; he had his father’s charm. Greg could even laugh with Doug, on rare occasions.
Now, as Joanna and Greg walked ankle-deep in the gentle virtual surf of the lagoon, with the dying sun painting the towering cumulus clouds fabulous shades of pink and orange, Greg seemed lost in thought.
“What’s the matter?” she asked, looking up into his somber eyes.
Greg let out a sigh, like a man in pain.
“What is it, dear?” Joanna repeated.
He stopped and turned to face her, his back to the glorious sunset. “Have I done an adequate job here?”
Joanna had to shade her eyes to look up at him. “More than adequate, Greg. You’ve made me proud of you.”
“All right,” he said. “Then I want to move up to the next challenge.”
“The next…?”
“Moonbase,” Greg said.
For a moment Joanna wasn’t certain that she had heard him correctly.
“I want to be put in charge of Moonbase,” he said, his voice calm. But she could sense the depth of his desire, even through the virtual reality interface.
“Moonbase,” she repeated, stalling for time to think.
“Anson’s due to rotate back to Savannah when her tour is finished,” Greg said. “I’d like to be named to replace her for the next year.”
Doug is on the Moon, Joanna thought swiftly. But he’ll be coming back once Brennart’s expedition establishes an operational facility at the south pole.
“Mom? Did you hear me?”
“Yes, of course I heard you. It’s just… unexpected. You’ve caught me by surprise, Greg.”
He broke into a cheerless smile. “That’s the first time that’s happened!”
“I never thought you’d want to go to Moonbase,” she said.
“It’s the next logical step, isn’t it? A year at Moonbase and then I can move up to head the entire space operations division.”
Joanna made herself smile back at him. “Director of Moonbase is a big responsibility.”
His smile evaporated. “You don’t trust me.”
“Of course I trust you!” she blurted.
“But not enough.”
“Oh, Greg—”
“I know. You’ve got every reason not to trust me. But it’s not like I’m looking to be made CEO, or even asking for my old seat on the board of directors.”
“There’s going to be a vacancy on the board next year,” Joanna said. “I was planning to nominate you.”
If that pleased him, Greg did not show it ’Mom, I want to earn my way. Moonbase is always tottering on the brink of collapse. I want to spend a year there and make the tough decision.”
“The tough decision?”
“To close it down, once and for all.”
“You, can’t do that!”
“Somebody has to,” he snapped. “We can’t let Moonbase keep draining the corporation, year after year.”
“But it’s making a profit…”
Greg’s expression turned sour. “You know that’s not true, Mom. Oh, sure, the bookkeeping shows a small profit, but when you figure in all the seed money we’ve put in for research that’s off the bqpks and all the other hidden costs, Moonbase is an expense we can’t afford.”
Joanna drew in her breath. That’s what he’s really after. He wants to kill Moonbase. He wants to put an end to Paul’s dream.
“Let me put in a year up there,” Greg insisted. “I’ll do my best to find a way to make the base really profitable, without bookkeeping tricks. But if I can’t, after a whole year, then I’ll recommend we close the operation for good.”
“Do you think you can make that decision?”
“After a year of hands-on management up there, yes.”
“What do you see as a potential profit-maker?” Joanna asked. “If anything.”
“I don’t know!” he said, agitated. “They’ve been using nanotechnology up there. Maybe we can turn Moonbase into a nanotech research center.”
“We’ve been through this before, Greg,” Joanna objected. “The public resistance to nanotechnology is too strong. People are frightened of it. The San Jose labs were trashed. We even had to close down the nanofactory in Austin because of the public pressure.”
“Yes, yes, I know,” Greg said impatiently. “And I heard the Vice President’s speech last week, too.”
“He’s asking for a U.N. treaty to ban all nanotechnology all over the world!” Joanna said.
“He’ll be president after November,” said Greg gloomily. “He’s certain to win!”
“A man like that in the White House.”
With a sardonic smile, Greg said, “He won’t be the first ignoramus to get there.”
“But he’s violently opposed to nanotechnology; he’s making it a religious issue.”
Joanna did not add that the deaths on the Moon caused by ’runaway’ nanomachines were still prime ammunition for the anti-nanotech Luddites. She did not have to.
“Ambitious politicians always play to the peoples’ fears,” Greg replied impatiently. “Since when do we let that determine corporate policy?”
Joanna shook her head. “It’s like the fear the public had of the old nuclear power plants. It’s irrational, but it’s very real. It generates political power, more power than we can challenge.”
“I don’t agree.”
“We can’t invest major resources in nanomanufacturing, Greg. We haven’t even been able to put medical nanoproducts on the market, and they’ve been proved to save lives. The government, the public, the media — they’ve stopped us every time we’ve tried.”
Greg countered, “But maybe if we do it in space… on the Moon or in orbit. Everybody’s afraid of nanobugs getting loose and running wild, so we do it all in space where they can’t get loose.”
“But what will they build? What can you make in space that we can sell here on the ground?”
“I don’t know,” Greg admitted. “Not yet. That’s why I want to spend a year at Moonbase, to see what they can do.”
Joanna stared at her son. He was serious, intent, perhaps even confident. Even though she was afraid of his unconscious desires, she couldn’t refuse him.
“If you can find a product that could make Moonbase profitable,” Joanna said slowly, “or even if you have the strength to recommend closing the base — you’ll have earned your place on the board of directors.”
“You mean you’d nominate me?”
She could see all the hope, all the need in him. He’s been through so much, Joanna thought. But another part of her mind asked. Can you really trust him? Do you dare to let him shoulder so much responsibility? Can he handle it without breaking down?
“Let me talk with a few people,” she temporized. “In the meantime, I’ll see about getting you the Moonbase job.”
“That’s the best birthday present you could give me,” Greg said.
Doug is at Moonbase, Joanna reminded herself. I don’t want them both up there at the same time.
“I love you, Mom.”
Joanna felt sudden tears blurring her vision. “I love you too, Greg.”
She knew that she meant it with every fiber of her being. She hoped that Greg meant his words, too. Yet she was always — afraid that he still didn’t understand what love really was.
He had been so sick, so terribly mixed up. He had never seen a loving relationship in his home until I met Paul, and then…