"So, up for it, Loman?" I asked after one more suspicious glance around the room. "Wanna pull the tail of this mutt?"
"No tail pulling," Niko corrected instantly. "This is reconnaissance work, not a stick-poking exercise for your personal entertainment."
"Spoilsport," I grumbled, and shoved my untouched salad to one side. Rabbit food, no, thanks. "Robin?"
"It sounds diverting." He finished his glass and waved a peremptory hand at the waiter, who promptly scampered for another bottle, bowing and scraping the entire way. I didn't know if it was the cut of Goodfellow's suit or the fact that he seemed to ooze dollar signs, but the waitstaff hung on his every gesture. Promise received the same attention. Niko and me, they tended to study with cautious curiosity. We didn't quite belong. In many ways a puck and a vampire fit into the mundane world better than we did. Maybe it was the clothes, I thought ruefully as I took a look at the tie I'd borrowed from the maître d'.
"Gambling, drinking, furry women," Robin continued with an arched and sly eyebrow. "Furry men. What's not to like? Count me in. We'll play your little game and come out a few thousand to the good on top of the fee. And, by the way, my fee is fifty percent."
"Fifty?" Promise repeated with an outrage that was all the more evident for the simmering restraint in her smooth voice. "Twenty-five thousand and for what, pray? For you to drink, flirt, and steal money from the unwary?"
"It's nice to meet someone with an identical life philosophy, isn't it?" Robin raised his newly filled glass to her in salute.
I quickly reached for a roll and took a large bite. It wouldn't be the smartest thing to give myself away with a shit-eating grin. I had no idea how Promise's five husbands had shuffled off this mortal coil, but I did know I wasn't looking to find out. Niko was making his serene way through his salad. It was impossible for him to be oblivious to the conversation, but that didn't stop him from pretending.
Chewing and swallowing the bread, I said softly, "Bwok, bwok."
The precisely placed sharp kick to the side of my knee had the nerve there tingling as Niko calmly took another bite of his salad. His movement hadn't even rippled the water in the glittering crystal glasses on the table. As I hissed in pain and rubbed my knee, I noticed Promise's and Robin's attention had turned from each other to me. Not the happiest turn of events for yours truly. "Surely it wouldn't be such an injustice to slide a portion of his split my way," Goodfellow drawled.
On that, Promise agreed with Robin, not the disputed fifty percent, but one hundred. "No injustice at all," she murmured as she rang a painted nail on the rim of her wineglass.
I gave my knee one last massage and scowled. "As always, everyone's against me," Deciding a change of subject was my only hope, I demanded, "Where the hell's the real food?" A long time coming, apparently, as the waiter ignored me as thoroughly as he'd slobbered to do Goodfellow's bidding. I might be a dark and brooding figure of mystery, albeit in a bad tie, but apparently the dark and brooding don't have a history of tipping well.
After putting me in my place, Robin and Promise eventually came to a figure that they were both satisfied with. Not that it stopped the squabbling between them. Only a well-placed sword and stake were likely to do that. Aside from Niko, the two of them had little in common… beyond the supernatural thing. Goodfellow was vainer than hell and showy as a peacock, bragged to infinity, and talked even beyond that. He was a walking, talking, screwing party and he was coming to a town near you. Promise was in all those things the exact opposite. She was calm tranquillity, an enigma in silk. She rarely spoke, and when she did it was never about herself. Everything I knew of her was from direct observation and the grapevine. I had the feeling, though, she might be a little more forthcoming with my brother. There was something in their shared glances… You only had to see it to know.
Robin saw it too. He didn't want to, but he did. And when we left Niko and Promise, before dessert as commanded, I caught him looking back wistfully. Affection toward someone other than Niko didn't come easily to me. Still, I raised a hand and awkwardly gave Goodfellow's shoulder a squeeze. Envy shifted from melancholy to rueful resignation and he shrugged. "They're a good match. Dull and duller."
I knew all about sour grapes myself. "Too dull to live," I agreed. "Besides, only the undead could deal with Nik's snoring."
We'd reached the street and he exhaled, then looked up at nonexistent stars. "I was to be married once, did you know?"
Surprisingly enough, no, I didn't know. That was a story he hadn't told me before, a miracle in and of itself. Add the combination of Robin and marriage to it and my mind reeled. "Really? You? No shit?"
"Really." The corners of his mouth tugged upwards. "Me. I shitteth you not. It was in Pompeü. Cyrilla." There was a thread in his voice, one of softness and reverence I wouldn't have guessed he had in him. Or maybe I simply thought he wouldn't let anyone see it in him. "She had a way of tolerating my gloriousness that brings you and your brother to mind."
"Gloriousness?" I grinned.
"Gloriousness… eccentricities." He rocked back on his heels. "One and the same."
"You and monogamy. There's a helluva concept. So, why didn't it happen?" Sometimes your mouth is faster than your common sense by barely a second. It's a nasty sensation. The mind does flip-flops, flailing mentally to recapture the words, but it's too late. They hit the air as garish as neon and then there's no taking them back. There's only mumbled apologies. "Sorry. I didn't think." Pompeü. Even a lazy student of history like me knew about Pompeü.
"Don't worry. It was a long time ago." From the tight set of his jaw, long was a relative term at best. He began to walk, and I followed along beside him. "Sometimes I lie in bed and try to recall her face… the feel of her skin against mine." He paused, eyes distant, before shaking his head slightly. "I can't. I remember she had black hair that fell in long curls over her breasts. I remember that her eyes were brown and her skin pale gold. I remember the color of the paints… but I can't see the picture." Matter-of-fact, he added, "Someday Niko will be that to me as well, a beautiful shadow long passed from this world." He shook his head briskly, did a Goodfellow lightning change of mood, and asked cheerfully, "How goes it with your girl? Georgie Porgie pudding and pie? Discovered what flavor she is yet?"
Cinnamon ice cream, I thought instantly before I could rein in my traitorous imagination. I hadn't kissed George. I might never kiss her, but I knew without a doubt what that kiss would taste like. "How about we don't go there?" I countered grimly.
"Oh, I beg to differ. How about we do?" His grin was simultaneously wicked and cajoling. "I'm in pain, mortally wounded. Distract me from my grief that I shall never know the size of Niko's most infamous sword."
"Jesus, Loman. I just ate. Cut it out, will you?" Still walking, I watched as his hand, featherlight and hummingbird swift, drifted out to one side and returned with a plump wallet that had belonged to a heavy-jowled businessman. Robin liked to keep up his skill in petty larceny. The original trickster, he said it paid to stay in practice… for the good of his magpie soul if nothing else. I would've checked the silverware every time he came to the apartment except for the fact we had nothing in that department worth stealing.
He thumbed through the wallet and gave a self-satisfied smile at the wad of cash that peeked free. Tucking it away, he clucked his tongue. "Come on. Tell Uncle Robin." There was a bit of a bounce to his step now, my troubles being more interesting than his own. "Of course, they do say abstinence is the best policy… 'they' being people who aren't getting any and want to spread the woe. You, on the other hand, are already all about the woe. Lighten up, kid. Do the deed already. We'll hit a place on the way home, stock up on every prophylactic known to man."