So it was up to me to arrange a meeting with Berry Gordy and talk to him. I was the one who had to say that we - the
Jackson 5 - were going to leave Motown. I went over to see him, face to face, and it was one of the most difficult
things I've ever done. If I had been the only one of us who was unhappy, I might have kept my mouth shut, but there
had been so much talk at home about how unhappy we all were that I went in and talked to him and told him how we
felt. I told him I was unhappy.
Remember, I love Berry Gordy. I think he's a genius, a brilliant man who's one of the giants of the music business. I
have nothing but respect for him, but that day I was a lion. I complained that we weren't allowed any freedom to
write songs and produce. He told me that he still thought we needed producers to make hit records.
But I knew better, Berry was talking out of anger. That was a difficult meeting, but we're friends again, and he's still
like a father to me - very proud of me and happy about my success. No matter what, I will always love Berry because
he taught me some of the most valuable things I've learned in my life. He's the man who told the Jackson 5 they
would become a part of history, and that is exactly what happened. Motown has done so much for so many people
over the years. I feel we're fortunate to have been one of the groups Berry personally introduced to the public and I
owe enormous thanks to this man. My life would have been very different without him. We all felt that Motown
started us, supporting our professional careers. We all felt our roots were there, and we all wished we could stay. We
were grateful for everything they had done for us, but change is inevitable. I'm a person of the present, and I have to
ask, How are things going now? What's happening now? What's going to happen in the future that could affect what
has happened in the past?
It's important for artists always to maintain control of their lives and work. There's been a big problem in the past
with artists being taken advantage of. I've learned that a person can prevent that from happening by standing up for
what he or she believes is right, without concern for the consequences. We could have stayed with Motown; but if we
had, we'd probably be an oldies act.
I knew it was time for change, so we followed our instincts, and we won when we decided to try for a fresh start with
another label. Epic
We were relieved that we had finally made our feelings clear and cut the ties that were binding us, but we were also
really devastated when Jermaine decided to stay with Motown. He was Berry's son-in-law and his situation was more
complicated than ours. He thought it was more important for him to stay than to leave, and Jermaine always did as
his conscience told him, so he left the group.
I clearly remember the first show we did without him, because it was so painful for me. Since my earliest days on the
stage - and even in our rehearsals in our Gary living room - Jermaine stood at my left with his bass. I depended on
being next to Jermaine. And when I did that first show without him there, with no one next to me, I felt totally naked
onstage for the first time in my life. So we worked harder to compensate for the loss of one of our shining stars,
Jermaine. I remember that show well because we got three standing ovations. We worked hard .
When Jermaine left the group, Marlon had a chance to take his place and he really shone onstage. My brother Randy
officially took my place as bongo player and the baby of the band.
Around the time that Jermaine left, things were further complicated for us because of the fact that we were doing a
stupid summer replacement TV series. It was a dumb move to agree to do that show and I hated every minute of it.
I had loved the old "Jackson Five" cartoon show. I used to wake up early on Saturday mornings and say, "I'm a cartoon!" But I hated doing this television show because I felt it would hurt our recording career rather than help it. I think a TV series is the worst thing an artist who has a recording career can do. I kept saying, "But this is gonna hurt our record sales." And others said, "No, it's gonna help them."
They were totally wrong. We had to dress in ridiculous outfits and perform stupid comedy routines to canned
laughter. It was all so fake. We didn't have time to learn or master anything about television. We had to create three
dance numbers a day, trying to meet a deadline. The Nielsen ratings controlled our lives from week to week. I'd
never do it again. It's a dead-end road. What happens is partly psychological. You are in people's homes every week
and they begin to feel they know you too well. You're doing all this silly comedy to canned laughter and your music
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begins to recede into the background. When you try to get serious again and pick up your career where you left off,
you can't because you're overexposed. People are thinking of you as the guys who do the silly, crazy routines. One
week you're Santa Claus, the next week you're Prince Charming, another week you're a rabbit. It's crazy, because you
lose your identity in the business; the rocker image you had is gone. I'm not a comedian. I'm not a show host. I'm a
musician. That's why I've turned down offers to host the Grammy Awards and the American Music Awards. Is it
really entertaining for me to get up there and crack a few weak jokes and force people to laugh because I'm Michael
Jackson, when I know in my heart that I'm not funny?
After our TV show I can remember doing theaters-in-the-round where the stage didn't revolve because if they had
turned it, we would have been singing to some empty seats. I learned something from that experience and I was the
one who refused to renew our contract with the network for another season. I just told my father and brothers that I
thought it was a big mistake, and they understood my point of view. I had actually had a lot of misgivings about the
show before we started taping it, but I ended up agreeing to give it a try because everyone thought it would be a great
experience and very good for us.
The problem with TV is that everything must be crammed into a little space of time. You don't have time to perfect
anything. Schedules - tight schedules - rule your life. If you're not happy with something, you just forget it and move
on to the next routine. I'm a perfectionist by nature. I like things to be the best they can be. I want people to hear or
watch something I've done and feel that I've given it everything I've got. I feel I owe an audience that courtesy. On
the show our sets were sloppy, the lighting was poor, and our choreography was rushed . Somehow, the show was a
big hit. There was a popular show on opposite us and we beat them out in the Nielsens. CBS really wanted to keep
us, but I knew that show was a mistake. As it turned out, it did hurt our record sales and it took us a while to recover
from the damage. When you know something's wrong for you, you have to make difficult decisions and trust your
instincts.
I rarely did TV after that; the Motown 25 special is the only show that comes to mind. Berry asked me to be on that
show and I kept trying to say no, but he finally talked me into it. I told him I wanted to do "Billie Jean" even though it would be the only non-Motown song on the show, and he readily agreed. "Billie Jean" was number one at the time.
I choreographed our routines, so I was pretty wrapped up in those numbers, but I had a good notion of what I wanted
to do with "Billie Jean." I had a sense that the routine had worked itself out in my mind while I was busy with other things. I asked someone to rent or buy me a black fedora - a spy hat - and the day of the show I began putting the
routine together. I'll never forget that night, because when I opened my eyes at the end, people were on their feet