Выбрать главу

and making them feel better. It's so sad for children to have to get sick. More than anyone else, kids don't deserve

that. They often can't even understand what's wrong with them. It makes my heart twist. When I'm with them, I just

57

want to hug them and make it all better for them. Sometimes sick children will visit me at home or in my hotel rooms

on the road. A parent will get in touch with me and ask if their child can visit with me for a few minutes. Sometimes

when I'm with them I feel like I understand better what my mother must have gone through with her polio. Life is too

precious and too short not to reach out and touch the people we can.

You know, when I was going through that bad period with my skin and my adolescent growth spurts, it was kids who

never let me down. They were the only ones who accepted the fact that I was no longer little Michael and that I was

really the same person inside, even if you didn't recognize me. I've never forgotten that. Kids are great. If I were

living for no other reason than to help and please kids, that would be enough for me. They're amazing people.

Amazing. I am a person who is very much in control of his life. I have a team of exceptional people working for me

and they do an excellent job of presenting me with the facts that keep me up-to-date on everything that's going on at

MJJ Productions so that I can know the options and make the decisions. As far as my creativity is concerned, that's

my domain and I enjoy that aspect of my life as much or more than any other.

I think I have a goody-goody image in the press and I hate that, but it's hard to fight because I don't normally talk

about myself. I am a shy person. It's true. I don't like giving interviews or appearing on talk shows. When Doubleday

approached me about doing this book, I was interested in being able to talk about how I feel in a book that would be

mine - my words and my voice. I hope it will clear up some misconceptions.

Everybody has many facets to them and I'm no different. When I'm in public, I often feel shy and reserved.

Obviously, I feel differently away from the glare of cameras and staring people. My friends, my close associates,

know there's another Michael that I find it difficult to present in the outlandish "public" situations I often find myself in.

It's different when I'm onstage, however. When I perform, I lose myself. I'm in total control of that stage. I don't think about anything. I know what I want to do from the moment I step out there and I love every minute of it. I'm actually

relaxed onstage. Totally relaxed. It's nice. I feel relaxed in the studio too. I know whether something feels right. If it doesn't, I know how to fix it. Everything has to be in place and if it is you feel good, you feel fulfilled. People used to underestimate my ability as a songwriter. They didn't think of me as a songwriter, so when I started coming up with

songs, they'd look at me like: "Who really wrote that?" I don't know what they must have thought - that I had

someone back in the garage who was writing them for me? But time cleared up those misconceptions. You always

have to prove yourself to people and so many of them don't want to believe. I've heard tales of Walt Disney going

from studio to studio when he first started out, trying to sell his work unsuccessfully and being turned down. When

he was finally given a chance, everyone thought he was the greatest thing that ever happened.

Sometimes when you're treated unfairly it makes you stronger and more determined. Slavery was a terrible thing, but

when black people in America finally got out from under that crushing system, they were stronger . They knew what

it was to have your spirit crippled by people who are controlling your life. They were never going to let that happen

again. I admire that kind of strength. People who have it take a stand and put their blood and soul into what they

believe.

People often ask me what I'm like. I hope this book will answer some of those questions, but these things might help

too. My favorite music is an eclectic mix. For example, I love classical music. I'm crazy about Debussy. Prelude to

the Afternoon of a Faun and Clair de Lune . And Prokofiev. I could listen to Peter and the Wolf over and over and

over again. Copland is one of my all-time favorite composers. You can recognize his distinctive brass sounds right

away. Billy the Kid is fabulous. I listen to a lot of Tchaikovsky. The Nutcracker Suite is a favorite. I have a large

collection of show tunes also - Irving Berlin, Johnny Mercer, Lerner and Loewe, Harold Arlen, Rodgers and Hammerstein, and the great Holland-Dozier-Holland. I really admire those guys. I like Mexican food very much. I'm

a vegetarian, so fortunately fresh fruits and vegetables are a favorite of mine.

I love toys and gadgets. I like to see the latest things manufacturers have come out with. If there's something really

wonderful, I'll buy one.

I'm crazy about monkeys, especially chimps. My chimp Bubbles is a constant delight. I really enjoy taking him with

me on trips or excursions. He's a wonderful distraction and a great pet.

58

I love Elizabeth Taylor. I'm inspired by her bravery. She has been through so much and she is a survivor. That lady

has been through a lot and she's walked out of it on two feet. I identify with her very strongly because of our

experiences as child stars. When we first started talking on the phone, she told me she felt as if she had known me for

years. I felt the same way.

Katharine Hepburn is a dear friend too. I was afraid to meet her at first. We talked for a while when I first arrived for

a stay on the set of On Golden Pond , where I was Jane Fonda's guest. She invited me to have dinner with her the

next night. I felt very fortunate. Since then, we have visited one another and remained close. Remember, it was

Katharine Hepburn who got me to remove my sunglasses at the Grammy Awards. She's a big influence on me. She's

another strong person and a private person.

I believe performers should try to be strong as an example to their audiences. It's staggering what a person can do if

they only try. If you're under pressure, play off that pressure and use it to advantage and make whatever you're doing

better. Performers owe it to people to be strong and fair.

Often in the past performers have been tragic figures. A lot of the truly great people have suffered or died because of

pressure and drugs, especially liquor. It's so sad. You feel cheated as a fan that you didn't get to watch them evolve as

they grew older. One can't help wondering what performances Marilyn Monroe would have put in or what Jimi

Hendrix might have done in the 1980s.

A lot of celebrities say they don't want their children to go into show business. I can understand their feelings, but I

don't agree with them. If I had a son or daughter, I'd say, "By all means, be my guest. Step right in there. If you want to do it, do it."

To me, nothing is more important than making people happy, giving them a release from their problems and worries,

helping to lighten their load. I want them to walk away from a performance I've done, saying, "That was great. I want to go back again. I had a great time." To me, that's what it's all about. That's wonderful. That's why I don't understand when some celebrities say they don't want their kids in the business.

I think they say that because they've been hurt themselves. I can understand that. I've been there too.

-Michael Jackson

Encino, California

1988

What one wishes is to be touched by truth and to be able to interpret that truth so that one may use what one is

feeling and experiencing, be it despair or joy, in a way that will add meaning to one's life and will hopefully touch