Short &
Tall Tales
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A L S O B Y L I L I A N J A C K S O N B R A U N
The Cat Who Could Read Backwards The Cat Who Ate Danish Modern
The Cat Who Turned On and Off
The Cat Who Saw Red
The Cat Who Played Brahms
The Cat Who Played Post Office
The Cat Who Knew Shakespeare
The Cat Who Sniffed Glue
The Cat Who Went Underground
The Cat Who Talked to Ghosts
The Cat Who Lived High
The Cat Who Knew a Cardinal
The Cat Who Moved a Mountain
The Cat Who Wasn’t There
The Cat Who Went into the Closet The Cat Who Came to Breakfast
The Cat Who Blew the Whistle
The Cat Who Said Cheese
The Cat Who Tailed a Thief
The Cat Who Sang for the Birds
The Cat Who Saw Stars
The Cat Who Robbed a Bank
The Cat Who Smelled a Rat
The Cat Who Went up the Creek
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The Cat Who Had 14 Tales (Short Story Collection)
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Short &
Tall Tales
Moose County Legends Collected by
James Mackintosh Qwilleran
Lilian Jackson Braun
G . P. P U T N A M ’ S S O N S
New York
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
Short and Tall Tales: Moose County Legends A J O VE Book / published by arrangement with the author All rights reserved.
Copyright © 2005 by The Jove Publishing Group.
This book may not be reproduced in whole or part, by mimeograph or any other means, without permission.
Making or distributing electronic copies of this book constitutes copyright infringement and could subject the infringer to criminal and civil liability.
For information address:
The Jove Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Putnam Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014.
The Penguin Putnam Inc. World Wide Web site address is http://www.penguinputnam.com
ISBN: 0-5151-3635-2
A JOVE BOOK®
J OVE Books first published by Berkley Publishing Group, a member of Penguin Putnam Inc.,
375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014.
JOVE and the "J" design are trademarks belonging to Penguin Putnam Inc.
Electronic edition: May 2005
Dedicated to Earl Bettinger, The Husband Who . . .
J A M E S M A C K I N T O S H Q W I L L E R A N
W I S H E S T O S AY:
“Let us give credit where credit is least expected.
To the automated coffeemaker that did yeoman duty during the preparation of this book. To my trusty typing machine, older than I am and still clicking. To Kao K’o Kung and Yum Yum, who sat tirelessly on my desk, supervising. Koko, as he is known, was ever willing to stare at my forehead when I was slow in thinking of the right word. Yum Yum, my official Muse, inspired with her mere presence and never once caught her whiskers in the typewriter platen.”
Contents
Introduction by Lilian Jackson Braun
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1. The Legend of the Rubbish Heap
3
2. Secret of the Blacksmith’s Wife
9
3. Housecalls on Horseback
15
4. Hilda the Clipper
21
5. Milo the Potato Farmer
27
6. The Little Old Man in the Woods
33
7. My Great-Grandmother’s Coal Mine
39
8. The True (?) History of Squunk Water
45
9. Whooping It Up with the Loggers
49
10. “The Princess” and the Pirates
55
11. Wildcattin’ with an Old Hog
59
12. The Scratching Under the Door
65
13. The Dimsdale Jinx
69
14. The Mystery of Dank Hollow
75
15. Tale of Two Tombstones
81
16. The Pork-and-Beans Incident at Boggy Bottom
87
17. At Last, a Hospital in the Wilderness
93
18. Emmaline and the Spiral Staircase
99
19. The Curious Fate of the Jenny Lee
103
20. A Scary Experience on a Covered Bridge
109
21. A Cat Tale: Holy Terror and the Bishop
113
22. Those Pushy Moose County Blueberries
117
23. The Curse on the Apple Orchard
123
24. Matilda, a Family Heroine
129
25. How Pleasant Street Got Its Name
133
26. The Noble Sons of the Noose
137
27. Phineas Ford’s Fabulous Collection
141
Introduction
by Lilian Jackson Braun
When James Mackintosh Qwilleran and his tape recorder left the crowding and anonymity of the megalopolis and discovered Moose County, 400 miles north of everywhere, he learned two things: In a small rural community, everyone is a celebrity, and everyone has a story to tell.
Here was a journalist who had never known his grand-parents or even his own father! And he was interviewing folks whose roots went back to 1850. Their tales were short, and some were beyond belief. He listened and captured them for this volume of Short and Tall Tales. Also included are some of Qwilleran’s own research papers based on chats 쑽쑽쑽
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Lilian Jackson Braun with historians, members of the Oldtimers Club (no one under eighty), and descendants of backwoods pioneers.
A word about the author: Qwill, as he likes to be called, was a prize-winning journalist on major newspapers Down Below—until circumstances (read “an inheritance”) caused him to go native, so to speak. He is a tall, rugged in-dividual if middle aged, with graying hair, an oversize mustache that is much admired, and brooding eyes that harbor both sympathy and a sense of humor. He lives in a converted barn in Pickax City, the county seat (population 3,000). As is well known, his housemates are two Siamese cats. And yes, he has a girlfriend.
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