"There’s a fire," somebody said.
“There sure is,” Amy mumbled.
"Fire!" the voice screamed.
Amy's eyes popped open. Fire? Where?
Edison stood in the doorway with the yellow titty ball in her hand. She was staring at the cloud of black smoke rolling out of the stove. “The oven is on fire!”
Jordan jumped to her feet just as tiny blue and orange flames shot out of the burners on top of the stove. Mr. Pip howled, arched his back, hissed and leapt up on the top of the cabinets. Jordan danced from foot to foot and flapped her arms, saying “Fire, fire, fire, fire.” At first Amy thought she was trying to shoo away the smoke, but then she realized Jordan was over-excited and hopping around because she didn't know what to do.
At that moment, the smoke alarm went off. The shrill sound made talking an impossibility. Edison ran toward the stove, grabbed a hot pad off the top of the fridge, put it on and tried to open the oven door. She could only open the door a couple of inches. Thick black smoke billowed out. Edison coughed and waved the hot pad in front of her face.
Amy pulled her shirt down, ran to the stove and turned it off.
Jordan hopped to the sink and turned the cold water on full blast. She pulled the spray nozzle out and aimed it across the room at the burning stove. The water arced high in the air and came down directly on top of Edison’s head.
Edison yelped, dropped the oven mitt and dove away from the stream of water, still hacking from the smoke.
Jordan threw down the nozzle and kneeled before one of the cabinets. She opened one of the doors and looked inside. She was yelling, but Amy couldn't hear what she was saying over the alarm. Jordan threw open another cabinet door and tossed boxes and cans out into the middle of the room. She opened the third cabinet, rummaged around inside and pulled out a fire extinguisher.
Jordan ran toward the stove, aimed the fire extinguisher nozzle in front of her. She slipped on the hot pad Edison had dropped on the floor. Her feet went up in the air and her butt slammed down on the linoleum. The spray of the fire extinguisher shot straight up like a fountain.
Amy ran to help Jordan. She slipped on the white gunk shooting out of the fire extinguisher and crashed to the floor next to Jordan. Edison rolled to her feet, crossed to Jordan and yanked the fire extinguisher out of her hands. She aimed the nozzle at the stove.
Unfortunately, the smoke was so thick she couldn't see where the stove was so she played it safe and sprayed the entire kitchen. The flames disappeared, but black smoke still oozed out of every possible crack of the oven.
Amy got to her feet slowly, slipping and sliding. She turned around in time to see Jordan with a chair raised above her head. She was aiming it at the smoke alarm that was hanging on the wall over the doorway. She whacked at the smoke alarm with the chair’s legs. She succeeded in putting three holes in the wall without touching the smoke alarm once.
Amy grabbed the chair out of Jordan's hands. She put the chair on the floor, climbed on the seat and yanked the alarm off the wall. Jordan grabbed the alarm out of her hands and tossed it into the sink.
Edison aimed the sprayer at it and doused it with water. The alarm squealed, squeaked, bleated, belched, then died.
Silence.
Amy coughed.
Jordan threw open the window above the sink.
Edison turned off the water and marched out of the kitchen without saying a word.
“I don’t think she’s happy,” Jordan said.
Amy and Jordan faced each other. They were both smeared with white goop and smelled like burnt pizza.
“Well,” Amy said, “That was fun.”
“What now?”
“Maybe we should go to my house.”
“Do you have any hot dogs?”
Amy smiled. “Better. I have a bathtub.”
Bubble Bath
Half an hour later, Amy and Jordan were in the bathroom at Amy's house. Jordan was naked, in the tub and up to her neck in bubbles. Amy was wrapped in a towel and sitting on the edge of the tub with her back to Jordan. Amy was having second thoughts about this bubble bath idea. Well, her body wasn’t having second thoughts. Her body was rip-raring to go. Her brain was worried. Her brain kept saying things like “What if she finds me unattractive? She’s seen dozens of women naked, what if she thinks your butt is too big? What if she thinks your boobs are too small? What if you start to make love to her and you’re doing it all wrong?”
"Aren’t you getting in?" Jordan asked.
"To tell you the truth, I'm a little nervous," Amy said. "I've never done this before."
"You've never taken a bath?" Jordan teased.
"Not with a naked lesbian," Amy said.
Jordan laughed. "Put on your doctor personae. You see naked women all the time, right?”
"I'm not worried about looking at you. I'm scared about you looking at me."
"How about if I promise not to look at you?"
"Can I turn out the lights?"
"Okay. If that's the only way you'll get in the tub with me."
Amy crossed to the light switch and turned it off. The room plunged into darkness. She shyly let her towel drop to the floor. She slipped into the tub, facing Jordan and sighed with contentment as the hot water engulfed her.
"See? Taking a bath with a naked lesbian isn’t all that scary, is it?"
“I could get used to it,” Amy whispered.
Jordan took Amy's ankles and stretched her legs out on top of hers. Amy rested the back of her head against the tub and relaxed as Jordan rubbed her feet. She'd never had anybody rub her feet before. It felt wonderful. Funny how Jordan rubbing her foot felt more sexual than Chad putting his hands all over her body. Did that mean she had always been a lesbian and didn’t know it? Did it mean she was in love with Jordan? Or was it just lust? And why did she have to ask so many questions all the time? Why couldn't she let go and feel? Just feel?
"What're you thinking about?" Jordan asked.
"How good it feels, you rubbing my foot," Amy answered.
"Just wait until I get full use of both my hands."
Amy slid down further into the tub. Jordan switched to rubbing the other foot. "Can I ask you a personal question?" Amy asked.
"Sure."
"Have you been a lesbian your whole life?"
"Not yet."
Amy laughed. “You know what I meant.”
Jordan continued, "Yeah, pretty much. I tried to date a boy in high school but it didn’t work out."
“Why, what happened?”
“I kept kissing his sister.”
Amy laughed. "So me being naked and feeling like making love is all right even if I haven’t been a lesbian before?”
“Oh, it’s seriously all right. But I have to ask you a question,” Jordan said.
“Okay.”
Jordan ran her hand up Amy’s thigh. Amy shuddered. Jordan said, “That crazy guy at the restaurant. He was the one in the hospital room, right?”
“Yeah,” Amy said, not liking where this was leading.
“He’s not a homeless man, is he? He knew you.”
“Yes. He knows me. His name is Chad Dorring. He’s a doctor at the hospital.” The water suddenly felt very cold to Amy. She shivered, but this time not in a good way.
“What is he to you? Is he your boyfriend?”
“No,” Amy protested. “He’s not.”
“Because, if he is…” Jordan continued.
“He’s not, I promise,” Amy said. “I don’t want to talk about him anymore, okay?”
There was a lengthy pause then Jordan said, “All right. Now where were we?”
“Right about here, I think.” Amy leaned in to kiss Jordan. She ended up with a mouthful of bubbles and sputtered.
"What was that?" Jordan asked.
"I was trying to kiss you."
"Oh. Well, you stuck your face in my armpit."