I put the gummy bears on a shelf, brought into my arms and led her to my car.
There was a goddamn ache in my chest and I didn't know why.
I tried to talk through the lump in my throat but nothing came out.
She sat there sobbing and frantically wiping her tears. She was trying to breathe through it, to calm herself down. And eventually, it started to work.
I don't know how much more this girl could take. And I don't know if there was anything I could have done to make it better. So I said the only thing I could think of to say; "You're pregnant?"
"I don't know." She said it so quietly I almost didn't hear it.
"So you haven't taken the test yet?"
"No." She started crying again. "Please, Logan. You can't tell anybody about this. No one. Especially Jake, please." She didn't want Jake to know. Why? Either way, I wasn't going to say shit to anyone.
"Mikayla, I wouldn't. It's not my story to tell."
Silence.
I sat there watching her for what felt like forever. "My dad's a doctor, I can take you to him, just to be sure. It's all confidential. It's the law or some shit. No one will know. I promise."
She nodded her head, looking out the window. I started the car and drove to Dad's practice.
***
I told her to sit in the waiting room while I found my Dad.
She held on to my arm, stopping me from walking away.
I stopped and turned to face her.
She had tears in her eyes, waiting to fall. She looked up at me, and then suddenly her arms were around me, her face on my chest. She started crying again, and I don't know if she knew how loud she was, because the other people in the waiting room all looked up at her. Linda, the receptionist, saw what was going on, "Take her to your dad’s office, Logan."
So I did.
A few minutes later Dad came in. He closed the door behind him. Then looked from me, then to Micky, and back to me again. "What's going on, Logan?" He said this suspiciously. And then it hit me, what it must look like to him. Me, bringing in some random girl, who's in tears, to see him, a doctor.
"Dad," I greeted. "This is Mikayla, uh...Jake's Mikayla."
I could see him visibly relax, before a different emotion took over his features. He moved to squat in front of Micky, so they were eye to eye. "Hi, Mikayla," he started. "I'm Dr. Matthews, but you can call me Alan." He smiled at her. It was sympathetic, but it was also genuine. "What can I help you with today?"
She looked at him, then up at me. Our eyes locked for a second before tears started streaming down her face again. "I can't..." she trailed off.
I cleared my throat. Dad faced me.
"Micky needs a pregnancy test done." I told him.
He smiled at Micky. "That won't be a problem. I'll take you to see Michele, my assistant. She'll take care of everything for you, okay?"
Micky nodded again.
"Mikayla, whatever happens here, everything will be okay. I promise," he assured her.
Micky stood up and walked to the door, my dad led her with his hand on her back. She stopped next to me, took my hand in hers and squeezed once, looking me right in the eye, and then they left the room.
And there was that fucking ache in my chest again.
Ten minutes later she came back smiling. I couldn't help but smile, too.
"Good news I take it?"
She was crying happy tears. She wiped them away with the back of her hand. Then she laughed. It was that nervous, relieved kind of laugh. "Oh my God, Logan. I was so frickin scared." Then her arms were around my neck as she bought me down to hug her. She's a lot shorter than me, so I had to bend down, my face landing on her shoulder. She wore perfume. It was flowery. Amanda's was fruity.
Amanda.
Shit!
As we headed back to my car I pulled out my phone. It was 3:15.
There was a text from her.
Amanda: ??
My fingers became anxious. I had to type the text over and over.
Logan: I'm so sorry! Something came up. I really want to see you though. I have a stupid thing I have to do tonight. Can I see you tomorrow? Please?
***
I ended up getting Julie from her friend's house, which happened to be the street down from mine. I dropped by the house to pick up my gear bag. I was meeting Jake at the cages after.
When we pulled up in the driveway, Jake's truck was already there. I saw him step out, and I knew instantly what he was thinking. Because I would, too.
I turned to Micky, her eyes were wide, questioning. "I didn't say a word. Swear it."
We both looked back to Jake.
His fists were balled at his sides.
Jaw tense.
Eyes filled with rage.
He was pissed.
Beyond pissed.
"You girls stay here, okay?" Micky nodded before I stepped out of the car.
***
The second I'm out of the car he was on me, pushing and shoving and yelling and I was two seconds from fucking punching him. But then I remembered that Julie was there.
I got why he was pissed, he loved Micky and he thought we were fucking around, but he wouldn't give me a chance to tell him what was going on, and I tried to calm him down but he wouldn't quit getting in my face. He was acting like an asshole, and I was about to shove him back when I heard Julie scream. I turned to see her in the middle of the road, standing inches away from a car that had almost hit her. I looked back to Jake and he was yelling at both of them. What the fuck was wrong with him? I'd never seen that side of Jake before and if I ever saw it again, we'd be done.
***
I spent the rest of the afternoon subconsciously glancing at my phone, waiting for a text from Amanda.
Jake called and wanted to know what happened. I told him to ask Micky. It wasn't my place to say, and if she wanted him to know, she had to be the one to tell him.
There was function on that night with some pharmaceutical company that Dad was involved with. I normally didn't have to go to those things, but he went on a few dates with one of the women from the company, and it didn't turn out so well. I was his buffer. If I didn't have to go with him, I'd definitely be going to see her, I was sure of it.
***
The dinner seemed to go forever, and I was constantly checking my phone. I hadn't heard from her since her text earlier. By the time we got home, it was nearing ten.
Still nothing.
I changed out of my suit and got into bed, but I was restless as fuck and I knew it was because I couldn't stop thinking about her. I picked up the phone from my nightstand and found her number. Then stared at it. I don't know how long I looked at it before I finally jumped out of bed and started pacing the room.
I took a few calming breaths and sat on the edge of the bed. Then I dialed her number.
My palms were sweaty. My heart pounded in my ears. It dialed for so long I was about to give up. I pulled the phone from my ear, and that's when I heard her voice, "Hey," she said quietly.
"Hey!" I said, too loud. Too fast. "How...uh...how are you? Did you get my text?"