Lily grimaced. “It’s a reporter’s wet dream, even if they don’t yet know just what went down.”
“They will soon,” Cynna said grimly. “The Big Dick has scheduled a press conference for six p.m. Eastern. Just in time for the evening news.” Dick Hayes was the FBI’s acting director while the real boss recuperated from open heart surgery. The nickname given him by the rank-and-file was not a token of fondness. “He’s going to throw you to the wolves.”
Lily’s sharp laugh surprised her. “No throwing required. I’m pretty much with the wolves already. Thanks for the warning, though.”
“I don’t think you get it. He’s going to give them your name and tell them you’re scheduled for psychiatric evaluation. They’ll be all over you. Plus, he’s got this idea you faked your Gift to get in the Unit. As if that…” She paused, frowning. “You aren’t upset.”
Lily shrugged one shoulder. “I’m not happy, but it was only a matter of time before the media got my name. It was my investigation. Besides, I’m an easy sacrifice, considering how short a time I’ve been with the Bureau. The psych evaluation is news,” she admitted. “But not a big surprise.”
“He ordered Ruben not to tell you.” Cynna simmered over that a moment. “I can’t believe Ruben agreed, but he did.”
“I don’t imagine he had much choice. He made sure I learned about it.”
Cynna felt suddenly foolish. “I guess he figured I’d tell you.”
“I guess he did.”
Cynna decided to sit down. The chair was as uncomfortable as it looked. “Hayes wants you to be surprised so you’ll look bad on camera.”
“I’ll have to talk to the press at some point, but maybe not yet. Maybe I should check out of here.” She looked at Cullen. “Isen called a couple of hours ago.”
“Oh?”
“He wants me to see the Rhej. Though it sounded more like he was passing on a summons from her.”
Cullen’s eyebrows lifted.
“Who or what is the Rhej?” Cynna asked.
“A holy woman. I wonder…” He shook his head, apparently unwilling to say more.
“He also wants me to come stay with him for a while. He was very gentle, very careful with me. Didn’t believe me for a minute about Rule.”
“You wouldn’t be bothered by reporters at Clanhome.”
“No.” She chewed on her lip. “I’m going to tell Cynna.”
“Lily—”
“About my Gift,” she said, turning to Cynna. “It’s gone.”
Cynna blinked. “Can’t be.”
“That’s conventional wisdom. It’s impossible to lose a Gift, right? But I can’t touch magic now.”
Cynna couldn’t think of anything to say. Losing her own Gift… she couldn’t get her mind around that. She was a Finder. She couldn’t imagine who she’d be if that were suddenly not true. “The staff?” she said hesitantly. “You think it somehow zapped your Gift?”
“It felt… when Harlowe used it on me…” Her face wasn’t closed anymore. More like haunted. “It felt as if something was clawing my skin off. I think it pried my Gift loose.”
“Shit.”
“Pretty much, yeah.” She didn’t say anything for a moment, looking down at the sheet drawn neatly over her legs. The head of the bed was raised, pillows propped behind her.
She looked so small in that bed. That shouldn’t come as a surprise—she was a little bitty thing, after all. But something about the woman had made Cynna forget there just wasn’t much of her, physically.
Lily looked up then and met her eyes. “Losing my Gift… that’s one reason they think I’m nuts.”
“Uh…”
“The way everyone sees it, either I really did lose my Gift and it sent me round the bend, or I’m blocking it as part of my denial.” She glanced at Cullen. “That’s what you think, isn’t it?”
“I’m keeping an open mind,” he said lightly.
Lily shook her head. “If you really thought there was a chance Rule was alive, you’d be looking for him.”
His expression flattened. “Where? Your former compatriots searched the area, didn’t they?”
“You’ve got ways of looking they lack.”
“I’m no Finder.”
“No,” she said. And looked at Cynna.
“I wondered when you’d think of that. Rule…” Saying his name made her throat unhappy. She swallowed. “Ruben told me you’re insisting that he’s alive. I want to know why.”
“If I tell you—”
“Lily,” Cullen’s voice was sharp. She ignored him. “If I tell you what you want to know, will you try to Find him?”
“I already have.”
TWENTY-FOUR
LILY’S head went light and dizzy. Big Dick’s planned press conference hadn’t come as a shock, but the whiff of hope hit her system like a double scotch on an empty stomach.
“Hey.” That was Cullen, standing by her bed with a hand on her shoulder. “It helps if you keep breathing.”
“Okay. I’m okay.” She waved him away and got herself back under control. “Where? Where is he?”
Cynna held up both hands. “I did that wrong. Sorry. What I mean is that I tried, not that I Found him. What I did Find doesn’t make sense. That’s why I need to know why you’re so sure he’s alive.”
Lily realized her nails were about to draw blood. She unclenched her fists. “All right. Then you’ll tell me what you Found.”
Cullen sighed. “As a clan member in good standing, this is where I’m supposed to threaten you with all manner of dire consequences.”
“What can they do—kick me out?” She shook her head. “Sorry. I know that’s a big deal for you, but it doesn’t mean as much to me.”
“Let me help.” As if she’d been still as long as she could, Cynna popped to her feet and began to pace. “I’ve got some of it figured out. I came up with three possible reasons for you to hold out on me. One, there’s some kind of national security deal involved that I’m not cleared for. Except you’d tell me if that were the case, right? Or Ruben would have told me before I got here.”
“That’s not it.”
“I didn’t think so. Reason two. The stuff you’ve kept to yourself is personally embarrassing. People do that all the time, and cops aren’t immune to the cover-up urge. But a good cop wouldn’t do it, and Ruben has pretty high standards for the Unit. Rule’s standards weren’t so shabby, either. So that leaves me with reason number three.” She glanced at Cullen. “Which you pretty much confirmed just now with that ‘clan member in good standing’ bit.”
He raised his eyebrows politely. “Did I?”
“I’m wondering if that was on purpose.”
Lily didn’t wonder. She wasn’t sure of his motives, but Cullen gave away very little by accident. “Go on.”
“It’s lupus secrets you’re keeping, isn’t it? And it has something to do with your relationship with Rule. Something that makes you think you’ve got the inside track on whether he’s dead or alive. Something that makes him, well, yours.”
Lily nodded slowly. She’d underestimated Cynna Weaver. “You’ve got most of it. Rule and I are mate bound.”
Cullen sighed and plopped down in one of the chairs, stretching out his legs and tilting his head back. “I wonder,” he asked the ceiling, “if I’ll be considered an accomplice for not stopping you?”
“You couldn’t have.”
“So what does mate bound mean, exactly?” Cynna asked.
“It’s rare, I understand.” And harder than she’d expected to put into words, especially with this woman she didn’t know well… whom Rule had once known very well. “Lupi see the bond in religious terms. They say their goddess—they call her the Lady—occasionally chooses a life mate for one of them. And, uh, it’s very physical. Sexual, but more than that. When it first hit, Rule and I couldn’t be separated by more than a couple hundred yards. It’s more relaxed now, thank God.”