Though I tried to fight the wave of memory, I remembered what Cameron had said, as he dumped me behind the school. I had fallen hard, scraping my palms and knees. He stood over me, looking like this was the most fun he ever had. More tears trickled down my cheeks.
“Come on, Eat-it. It’s just a joke. Not like we raped you.” He’d strolled away as I barfed up a can of dog food.
“Wow,” Vi breathed. “I’m glad I don’t go to private school.”
Surprised, I choked out a shaky laugh. “I’m sorry you—”
“Hey, no. They can eat shit and die.”
I almost agreed with her, but then I remembered Brittany’s face. No matter how I felt about her, I hadn’t wanted her dead. So I smiled at Vi when she changed the subject and told me about something she was working on, a robotics project. I had less interest in that, but she carried the conversation long enough for me to pull myself together.
“Thanks,” I said finally.
“That’s what friends are for. And if you want me to come kick some tail, I will totally put together a posse.”
“What’s your gang called, Vi-Z?”
She snorted. “I thought I’d offer. Anyway, I’m deleting this crap. Let us never speak of this again.” By her tone, I could tell she was quoting something, but I wasn’t sure what.
“Talk to you later, Vi.”
“Don’t let the Neanderthals get you down.”
“They don’t, anymore.” In fact, there was one less in the world.
I closed my laptop and took a shower, but I couldn’t lose the uneasy feeling that something could be lurking outside the curtain, staring at me from the other side of the mirror. So no more long, luxuriant scrubs—this time, it was fast and unsatisfying, much as my dad had described virginal sex during his super awkward talk the other night.
Afterward, I got ready for my date, which involved a clean pair of jeans and a shirt Kian had never seen. I didn’t have a ton of clothes, and shopping wasn’t high on my to-do list, considering the stuff going on. Not sure what it said about me that I wasn’t rocking and weeping. But before I left, my computer beeped again with another call from Vi.
That’s weird.
But I answered, figuring she forgot to tell me something important. “Long time, no talk.”
“I just want you to know, I’m not crazy. Whatever they say later.” That was such a weird greeting that I put down my hairbrush.
“What the hell. Vi?”
“I told you about those dreams, right? Well, it’s happening when I’m awake now, too. I see everything encased in ice. Just now, I went to ask my mom something and she was all blue, enveloped in ice, and I couldn’t wake her up. And then, like, she wasn’t, it was all in my head or something, but—”
Wedderburn. That word blazed in my brain, more dreadful than any curse.
“It’s fine, you’re just stressed. Calm down, okay?”
“I can’t! I’m losing my shit and I’m only seventeen. Instead of college, I have a bright future ahead of me coloring with crayons and writing things on the wall of my cell. The weird thing is, I never even liked snow that much, but now I see it everywhere I turn. The other night, my dad was sprinkling salt and I kind of fell into watching it, so it was like I was lost in a blizzard and I didn’t answer my brother for, like, five minutes. My parents blame Seth.”
I have to fix this.
Aloud, I said, “Drink less caffeine. Have an herbal tea at night before bed and meditate or something.”
“I don’t think waking dreams are normal.” She sounded so sad and scared, and considering how amazing she had been a few hours before about the damned dog video, I wanted so bad to help her.
This can’t turn out like Brittany. I felt like a plague carrier, spreading darkness and death in all directions. Whether that was true, I didn’t know, but a scream prickled in my throat. I swallowed it like a cactus and imagined I tasted blood.
“Psht. Who wants to be normal?”
That made her smile. “Fine. I’ll try your new age-y crap before I dump this on my mom. God knows she has enough to worry about with Kenny starting junior high.” She went on to tell me about her brother’s host of mental problems, most of which required medication.
“Better?” I asked.
“Yeah. Thanks.
“That’s what friends are for.” I repeated her words from earlier, trying to sound calm and reassuring.
She paused for a few seconds, and I wished I could reach through my laptop to hug her. “My friends here aren’t the same. You know?”
“Sure.” Because I knew it would make her laugh, I said, “You’re my sister from another mister.”
“Totally. I’ll keep you posted on whether the tea and serenity stuff makes a dent in my crazy.”
“Later.”
This time, when I closed my computer, I tapped out a text to Kian. Come early, it’s urgent. Favor related.
Five minutes after I sent that, he ported into my room. “Edie, don’t rush this. You can have five years, free and clear. Take them.”
“I can’t. Wedderburn is terrorizing Vi. Isn’t that … cheating or something?”
“Not by their standards.”
“You didn’t tell me they could do this when I first signed up for the deal.”
He lowered his eyes, cheeks washed with red. “You didn’t ask.” Then his voice went low. “I’m sorry. I wanted to warn you. I did. That’s the second thing I feel guilty about in relation to you.”
I almost asked what the first one was, and then I remembered that he felt horrible about not dying for me. Crazy, beautiful boy. Though I’d tried to absolve him, clearly Kian agreed with Voltaire: “Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.” Even if it meant paying the ultimate price.
He went on, “But I … also wanted to save your life.”
“It doesn’t matter. At this point, I’m ready to use my second favor.”
“Edie—”
“Will you grant it or do I need to go over your head?” I was dead serious.
“I’m listening,” he said, resigned.
“First I need to ask a clarifying question.”
“Go for it.”
“Can I include multiple people in a request? Like, if I want to protect all of my loved ones from the game?”
Kian shook his head. “By immortal standards, that would require a favor for each of them. You could pick two people, at most, and that would burn your last two.”
“Dammit.” But Wedderburn had given no sign that Ryu or my parents had registered with him, so maybe I shouldn’t borrow trouble. “Fine. Then this is what I want: He needs to keep Vi out of this. She gets to have her happy life without being bothered. I don’t want the fact that we’re friends to screw her up. Can you do it?”
“This is exactly what he wants,” Kian warned.
“I still have one favor. He hasn’t railroaded me all the way yet, so that gives me a little leverage.”
“Your mind’s made up then.” He looked as if I’d confessed to having brain cancer when he tapped his watch, one of the myriad buttons whose function I didn’t know, and Wedderburn’s face appeared above it in 3-D holo.
“Yes?”
Kian repeated my request, though more elegantly. For the first time, I could imagine him on the path to law school and eventually the Supreme Court. It was sort of odd, since he wasn’t actually that person, but there were echoes. People were mirrors turned inward to infinity, where all choices and roads not taken led to an endless shifting of self.