Blinking, she saw the light fade until she could make out the shapes of the StarClan cats.
Half Moon stepped from among them, her white pelt glistening. She stopped in front of Moth Flight and dipped her head.
Moth Flight tensed, trying to glimpse the expression in the StarClan cat’s dark green gaze. I scattered the petals of the Blazing Star, just as Micah told me. She knew what she wanted to say. She had given away her kits and she wanted to tell StarClan that it was the only thing she could have done. But the words she’d planned stalled on her tongue. “I had to!” she blurted as Half Moon met her gaze.
“We know.” Half Moon stared at her steadily. “You made the right choice.”
Moth Flight glanced beyond the white she-cat, hoping to glimpse Micah. He’d given his blessing to sending their kits to new homes, but she wanted to see him—she needed to read his gaze and truly know that he understood.
Before she could spot him, Half Moon spoke again. “Your greatest loyalty must always be to StarClan and your Clanmates.” Her gaze flicked to Acorn Fur. “The only way to ensure this is for you all to promise never to take mates or have kits.”
Acorn Fur’s eyes flashed indignantly. “That’s not fair! I can be loyal to you, and my Clanmates, and a mate and kits!”
Half Moon didn’t answer.
“I can!” Acorn Fur insisted.
A starry she-cat padded forward. Snow-white fur flecked her gray muzzle. “How do you know what it is like to be a mother?” she challenged Acorn Fur, her eyes flashing.
Acorn Fur snorted. “I’ve seen Star Flower with her kits. It’s not hard!”
The old she-cat’s tail twitched crossly. “I am Quiet Rain, mother of Gray Wing, Clear Sky, and Jagged Peak. I stayed behind in the mountains when they left the Tribe. But my heart cried out for them every day they were gone.”
Moth Flight shivered. Will grief torture me forever?
Quiet Rain went on. “My need was so strong that I spent my final days crossing unknown lands to see them. Only when I was sure they were safe in their new home could I give in to the sickness that made every step heavy with pain.”
Acorn Fur stared at her. “I’m not you! My kits will stay near me. I won’t have to worry about them!”
Quiet Rain gave a hollow purr. “Do you really believe that you’ll be able to ignore their cries to treat an injured Clanmate?”
She swung her head toward Moth Flight accusingly. “Haven’t you warned this foolish cat?”
“She’s not foolish!” Moth Flight stepped closer to Acorn
Fur. “I thought I could be a mother and medicine cat too. I had to experience it before I realized how impossible it was to give my heart twice over.” She blinked at Acorn Fur. “You must make your choice now, before you have kits. You mustn’t ever face the choice I faced. It will break your heart.” Her eyes prickled with sadness. “Choose now. Either care for your Clan, or take a mate. You can’t do both.”
Pebble Heart swished his tail. “What about us?” He nodded toward Cloud Spots. “We can’t be mothers.”
Half Moon tipped her head. “But you can be fathers. Do you think a father loves his kits any less?”
Gray Wing slid from among his Clanmates. “Pebble Heart,” he meowed gently. “Each medicine cat must make the same choice. Live like an ordinary Clan cat and take a mate. Raise a family if you like. But if you do, renounce your medicine-cat duties.”
Half Moon’s gaze flitted around the medicine cats. “We brought you closer to us than any of your Clanmates. One day your Clan may depend on what we share with you. We need to know you hear us. If you don’t, who will suffer?”
Pebble Heart’s eyes darkened. “Our Clan.”
Half Moon nodded. “Then choose.”
Pebble Heart shifted his paws, his gaze lingering on Half
Moon’s for a moment. Then he spoke. “My greatest loyalty will always be with StarClan and my Clanmates.”
Half Moon’s ear twitched. “Do you agree you will never take a mate or have kits?”
Pebble Heart nodded.
Half Moon’s gaze flicked to Cloud Spots questioningly.
The ThunderClan medicine cat dipped his head. “Me too.”
“And me.” Dappled Pelt gazed solemnly at Half Moon.
Quiet Rain was still staring at Acorn Fur. “And you? Have you decided which you will choose?”
Acorn Fur glanced around anxiously. She caught Moth
Flight’s eye hopefully, as though hoping for advice.
Moth Flight lowered her gaze. “You must decide for yourself.”
Acorn Fur shifted beside her. “Okay,” she mewed. “If I must choose, I choose StarClan.”
Quiet Rain narrowed her eyes sharply. “Are you certain?”
Acorn Fur lifted her chin. “I’m certain.”
Relief washed Moth Flight’s pelt. She knew how hard Acorn
Fur’s decision must have been. She thought, with a rush of love, of her first moon with Micah. The memory still warmed her.
She couldn’t imagine her life, never having known such love.
Or worse, having known it but knowing she must refuse it.
Softly, she pressed against Acorn Fur. “Tending to your Clan will give you all the joy and warmth and love that you need,” she murmured, hoping it was true. “Give your heart to them.”
She blinked at Half Moon. “It must always be this way.”
Half Moon nodded. “In the future, medicine cats may never take a mate. They must never have kits.”
Gray Wing swished his tail. “Their loyalty will rest only with StarClan and their Clanmates.”
Around them, StarClan murmured with approval, their mews echoing beneath the starless sky.
Watching them, Moth Flight caught sight of Micah at last.
His gaze was fixed on her, brimming with affection.
She returned it, her heart twisting with sorrow. I’m sorry, my love. But while I live, I must give you up. She had sent her kits away so she could be the best medicine cat she could be. She couldn’t share her dreams with Micah any more. Her dreams belonged to StarClan now. Every hair in her pelt, every beat of her heart, every breath belonged to them.
TURN THE PAGE FOR AN
EXCLUSIVE MANGA ADVENTURE
CREATED BY
ERIN HUNTER
WRITTEN BY
DAN JOLLEY
ART BY
JAMES L. BARRY
