“Splendid!” cried Bingley. “Now, Darcy,” he enthused, desperately trying to divert his own attention from the attractions of Jane, “your turn!”
Darcy stared at the three sisters before him. Three young women in swimwear. It was hard to think with his usual clarity. His eyes moved swiftly from Kitty to Mary to Lizzy, where they stopped, taking her all in from head to toe to head, where they locked with Lizzy’s. After a full two minutes, Lizzy felt impelled to turn away, but Darcy still did not speak.
“Come now, Darcy!” encouraged Bingley. “I must have you choose. I hate to see you standing about in this stupid manner. If you do not hurry, the tide will have come up and drowned us all before we have had a chance to even throw the ball.”
Darcy opened his mouth, and still looking as if in a trance at Lizzy, so tempting, clad in so very little, said very slowly, “Mary.”
Lizzy, it must be said, felt some disappointment but smiled gamely, and in the event, ended up on Bingley’s team. This did give her the opportunity to observe Darcy at length, who was observing her rather than the ball, and this, combined with Jane and Bingley both inclined to say “After you” before hitting the ball, led to a poor standard of play. This, however, could not keep the young people’s spirits down, and once the game was complete, there was a general dash into the sea. Much splashing followed, and Kitty dared them all to a swimming race to Bellhouse Rock and back. Lizzy found herself swimming beside Darcy, and they had a few polite words about Durham until mountains of surf reduced conversation to small exclamations. They all reached Bellhouse Rock successfully and sat to get their breath until someone said, “Where’s Mary?”
“Help! Help!” came a thin cry from the seas.
Mary was in the process of drowning. Bingley and Darcy gamely dived in and hauled her out of the water, and while Bingley pumped her chest, it fell to Darcy, reluctantly some would say, to give her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Lizzy was ablaze with emotion as she watched. She almost felt it would have been worth nearly drowning herself for such salvation. But she had rejected him once. Who could possibly expect that a man such as Darcy would ever repeat his overtures? No. It was over. Silly girl.
Back on the beach, everyone declared the picnic a great success: marmite sandwiches had never tasted so good, and the prawns made only one person ill. The party returned to Salcombe in high spirits, Jane especially walking on air.
Chapter 55
The next day was the crab-catching competition. The Bennet girls were all lined up happily on Victoria Quay, dangling their lines into the salty waters and hoping for a big catch. Mrs Bennet was in charge of the net, and every time one of her daughters carefully pulled up a little fellow, she was so ham-fisted, swinging the net about, that she knocked the catch back into the water. It was a most frustrating business, especially as nearly everyone else along the quay kept calling out “Caught another!” in a most irritating manner.
Mrs Bennet was on the verge of giving up when the most amazing sight caught her eye. Mr Bingley rowing towards them! He looked so very perky, and there was clearly a bottle of Veuve Clicquot in an ice bucket and two glasses in a picnic basket in the boat and a jewellery box that most certainly was inscribed with “Tiffany” on the lid that, with a mother’s instinct, she knew instantly something was up.
“My dear Jane! He is come! Make haste! Make haste!”
But within seconds, Bingley was upon them.
“Oh, Mr Bingley!” said Mrs Bennet, feigning surprise. “Are you partial to crabbing? Do step out of your boat and come and join us.”
“Splendid!” replied Bingley, remaining in his boat and making no attempt to get out.
“Such a delightful sport, don’t you think, Mr Bingley?”
“Yes. Absolutely splendid!”
Silence ensued. After a while, Kitty said, “Chas, do you think you could go away? I think you’re disturbing the crabs. I’ve not had one bite like since you appeared.”
“Kitty!” said Mrs Bennet, outraged, and winked at her ferociously.
“Why are you like winking at me, Mother?” asked Kitty.
“I am not winking at you! But now thinking about it, I have some business with you. Come with me.”
Mrs Bennet managed to remove Kitty to the bench, where Mary was already perched reading Quantum Physics for Dummies (the last two words carefully deleted), and Lizzy was forced to give up her crabbing spot by her mother returning and demanding that she had some business with her, too. Apart from seventy-three children under eight, forty-nine yummy mummies, sixteen merchant bankers, nine ex–hedge fund managers, twelve ex-bankers, two barristers, twelve judges, and eighty-one exhausted grandparents, Bingley and Jane were left quite, quite alone.
“Jane!” began Bingley, standing up. “I… I…”
The rowing boat wobbled dangerously.
“I… I…”
Jane could hardly breathe in anticipation.
“I… I…” continued Bingley, bobbing up and down, “cannot balance…”
Bingley wobbled again and a gasp went up from the spectators and one judge even removed his wig, ready to jump in to the rescue of a potentially drowning man, but Bingley regained control of himself and the boat.
“…very well. But you would do me the greatest honour…”
At this point, Bingley knelt in the boat on one knee “and make me the most splendidly happiest man in the world if you would ma…”
Bingley and the boat wobbled dangerously.
“…marry me?”
The crowd were now captivated, and all eyes turned to Jane. Before she could speak, Bingley went on. “Dearest, darling, quite delightful Jane. Say yes! Oh please say yes! I have a ring!”
Bingley opened the Tiffany box. If the day had been sunny and bright before, the dazzling light shining from the ring within drew a gasp from the crowd. Bingley reached up, and taking Jane’s hand, slipped the ring on her finger. Bingley held the lovely, slim, white, now-bejewelled hand, waiting for her answer.
As the boat drifted away from shore, Bingley was left suspended for a moment, not on dry land, not in the boat, but somewhere hovering in between, just long enough to hear Jane reply, “I will!” before he fell in ecstasy into the water.
He emerged to see the beautiful face of his dear Jane searching for him, and he rose triumphant to place, for the first time, a kiss on those heavenly lips.
Clapping erupted from the crabbers, young and old, and there was not a dry eye on the quayside, half tears of emotion, half salty water from the giant splash Jane made as Bingley inadvertently pulled her in. But who cared when such happiness abounded? Who cared when two young people were caught in such a splendid, delightful, seaweedy entanglement of love?
Chapter 56
The following day, a tremendous drumming sound swept over Island Street. The Bennet girls rushed out to see what the commotion was. Hovering above was a black Sikorsky helicopter, which to the astonishment not only of the Bennet girls but of all those holidaymakers idling in the street, seemed to be intent on descending.
There was a widening of the road at the town end of Island Street, a flattish area, and it soon became apparent that this was the destination of the aircraft. People duly scattered, and upon landing, the helicopter’s door was flung open, and to the utmost amazement of Lizzy, out stepped Lady Catherine de Brrr. She immediately walked with an air more than usually ungracious and burst uninvited straight into the sitting room of 3 Island Street to the surprise of Mrs Bennet and Mary, the former who had been sitting engrossed in Hello magazine, the latter in Electrical Surges II . A side whisper from Lizzy enlightened Mrs Bennet as to the identity of the invader and the mode of transport. Mrs Bennet was thereafter all graciousness. After all, anyone who arrived by helicopter, even if they interrupted a good read, must be worthy of polite attention.