Saturday 2 January
The thaw has left a number of problems in its wake at the Abbey. The stream has flooded, and as the thaw progresses there will be worse to come. I made provision for attending to matters once the water subsides.
I called on Graham this morning to wish him the compliments of the season. He returned the greeting. I soon learnt that he, too, had received a letter from Mr. Elton.
"I should not wonder if his visit to Bath was prompted by all this talk of weddings and families," said Mrs. Lovage. "First with Miss Taylor getting married, then with your brother and his family visiting, then with talk of Mr. Frank Churchill paying a visit to Highbury. Mr. Elton is at a time of life when he might well be thinking of marriage, and there are one or two families in Bath who would not be sorry to see him there."
I would not be at all surprised if he returned with a bride. It would soothe his pride, and put an end to the kind of scenes he has recently been a part of. Besides, who is there for him in Highbury? He cannot marry Emma, for Emma will not have him. No other woman is high enough in his estimation, I fear. I had thought, at one time, he might marry Jane Fairfax, and provide her with a respectable home. But now that he has shown his true worth, I would not inflict such a man on Miss Fairfax. She deserves a better man than he.
I wonder…I have always liked Jane Fairfax. It remains to be seen if I can like her enough to think of her as a wife.
Monday 4 January
Emma and I have had an argument, and about the most ridiculous thing: Frank Churchill. It began when she told me that he would not be coming to Highbury after all.
"I cannot say it surprises me," I remarked. "He has grown proud, luxurious and selfish through living with the Churchills."
"What nonsense!" said Emma, laughing at me.
"Why else would he keep putting off his visit? If he had wanted to see his father, he would have contrived it between September and January," I said.
"You are the worst judge in the world, Mr. Knightley, of the difficulties of dependence," she said.
It is true I have never been dependent. But even so, I am sure I should never have been slow in doing my duty, and so I told her.
"Besides, we are for ever hearing of him at Weymouth, or some other such place," I went on. "This proves that he can leave the Churchills."
She allowed the point, but maintained that his time was only his own when his aunt allowed it.
"We shall never agree about him," she said. "But that is nothing extraordinary. I have not the least idea of his being a weak young man: I feel sure that he is not; but I think he is very likely to have a more yielding, complying, mild disposition than would suit your notions of man’s perfection."
For some reason, I did not like to hear her praising him.
"He can sit down and write a fine flourishing letter, full of professions and falsehoods, if that is what you mean by a complying disposition," I said scathingly, for she seemed to think very well of a man she had never met. "His letters disgust me."
She looked surprised at the strength of my feeling, but why should I not have strong feelings?
"You seem determined to think ill of him," she said.
"Not at all. I should be as ready to acknowledge his merits as any other man; but I hear of none, except what are merely personal; that he is well-grown and good-looking, with smooth, plausible manners."
"Well, if he should have nothing else to recommend him, he will be a treasure at Highbury," she said mischievously. "We do not often look upon fine young men, well-bred and agreeable. We must not be nice and ask for all the virtues into the bargain."
"If I find him conversable, I shall be glad of his acquaintance," I remarked disdainfully, "but if he is only a chattering coxcomb, he will not occupy much of my time or thoughts."
"My idea of him is, that he can adapt his conversation to the taste of everybody, and has the power as well as the wish of being universally agreeable."
"And mine is, that if he turn out anything like it, he will be the most insufferable fellow breathing!"
I said irascibly.
"I will say no more about him," cried Emma, "you turn everything to evil. We are both prejudiced; you against, I for him; and we have no chance of agreeing "til he is really here."
"Prejudiced! I am not prejudiced," I exclaimed, although I knew, even as I said it, that I was.
"But I am very much, and without being at all ashamed of it," she said. "My love for Mr. and Mrs.
Weston gives me a decided prejudice in his favour."
"He is a person I never think of from one month’s end to another," I remarked with vexation.
But, in fact, I did not speak the truth. For some reason, I have taken a dislike to Frank Churchill, and I do not want Emma to like him, either.
It is a good thing Churchill has put off his visit. I find myself wishing he might never come to Highbury at all.
Tuesday 5 January
There was a discrepancy in the accounts, and it took me all afternoon to trace it and correct it, so I was glad to go to my whist club this evening. It was an escape from the irritations at Hartfield and the annoyances at the Abbey.
Once there, I found that a new subject of conversation had arisen, and one that had thankfully put Frank Churchill out of everyone’s mind.
"This is good news," said Otway, when I entered the Crown. "Jane Fairfax is to visit her aunt and grandmother. I have not seen Miss Fairfax for years. A taking little thing she was, when she was a girl. She will be a young woman now, of an age with Miss Woodhouse."
"It will be good for the two of them to have each other. Mrs. Weston is very pleased," said Weston.
"And so am I," I said. At last, Emma will have some refined company. After the disappointments of recent weeks, I hope she will value it for what it is worth. And I…perhaps I will find what I have been looking for. "Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to see Miss Fairfax and Emma become friends."
"It’s a sad situation," said Cole. "Poor girl. It was very good of Colonel Campbell to raise her when her parents died..."
"A lot of men would have conveniently forgotten that Jane’s father had saved their life," agreed Weston.
" - or regarded it as a duty to do something for the infant, making a contribution to their upkeep, perhaps, but nothing more," said Cole. "But not Colonel Campbell."
"I suppose he thought he might as well take her in, having a girl of his own. It gave both children a playmate, his daughter being an only child."
"I dare say that played its part, but it was still good of him to give Jane a home and all the benefits of an education."
"Something her aunt could not have afforded," agreed Weston.
"But it is a double-edged kindness," I said. "Now that Miss Fairfax is a woman, she has to earn a living. It will not be easy for her to move from a world in which she has had a great deal of pleasure, to one in which she will be little better than a servant."
"I would like to help her, but what can we do?" asked Cole.
"Nothing but make her welcome in Highbury, where we can show her the attentions she deserves, and make her feel that here there will always be a place for her," said Weston.
As he spoke, I thought that I might be able to do something more.
Tuesday 12 January
Business brought me to town, and after it was concluded, I dined with my friend Routledge at the club.
"What news from Highbury?" he asked.
I began by telling him about the Abbey and the farms, and then we talked of my neighbours. I told him about Mr. Longridge and Mrs. Lovage.
"Mrs. Lovage?" he asked.
"She is Graham’s sister, and she has been to stay with him several times."