At one point Elizabeth leaned close to Darcy and softly spoke into his ear, “William, I am elated that you are back! I missed you so. Nonetheless, it is requisite that I scold you for venturing out into the storm yesterday. You could have been injured, and then where would I be three days hence with no groom to wed me?”
He squeezed her hand under the table. “I am prostrate with guilt, my love, for causing you pain. Please forgive me?”
“Of course I forgive you,” she said with a laugh, “although I should not. I should be cruel and allow you to suffer as I suffered all day!” She removed her hand from his and affected an angry pout.
“You cut me to the quick, Miss Elizabeth! My torment at your disfavor is acute. I have no choice but to fall to your feet in abject humility and beg the indulgence of your forgiveness.” With that proclamation he precipitously scooted his chair back and began to drop to his knees.
Lizzy arrested his movement by hastily grabbing his arms. “Ridiculous man!” she laughed. “Return to your seat this second! I forgive you.” She proved her forgiveness by giving him a kiss. “I am still curious as to how you made it here at all and why you arrived so late. You appear hale enough so I must assume you were unharmed.”
“My intent was to ride Parsifal from Town,” he explained, “knowing I could traverse the distance quickly, the sooner to see your face, my love. The ominous clouds and the urging of Mrs. Smyth induced me to take the carriage. That decision, naturally, meant waiting longer to depart. I was hoping to beat the storm but, alas, I was still on the outskirts of London when the torrent began. The roads were muddied within minutes. My coachman persevered for quite some miles, but eventually we had to hole up at a pub in Mayfield.
“We were not the only travelers foolish enough to be caught in the storm, so the establishment was lively and offered a pleasant diversion for the afternoon. Surely not as pleasant as being with you, but, as I had no real option, I made the best of it. Finally I could stand the wait no longer and we pushed on. It was slow going, and foolhardy I expect, but in the end we arrived none the worse for wear except for being drenched and mud splattered.”
All throughout brunch, even with Darcy’s infectious delight, Elizabeth could not cease ruminating on how she was to proceed with veering a conversation toward the topic of her nightmare. She was deliriously happy to be with Mr. Darcy and, in light of his obvious pleasure to be with her, she found her mother’s accusations and her own apprehensions did not carry as much weight. Even so, the questions needed to be answered and the small knot of disquiet in her gut must be alleviated.
Upon the completion of the meal, when all were satisfied, Jane and Mr. Bingley announced that they were to take a walk about the grounds. Lizzy was game for this, thinking that it would afford her the privacy she needed. Darcy surprised her, though, by saying that he had something to show her in the library first. Bingley seemed bewildered but he did not comment.
Darcy kept the library door ajar, naturally, but guided Elizabeth to a far corner. He took her in his arms, kissed her waiting lips with restrained ardor and taking the time to rain several kisses along her neck. All too soon, though, he released her and sat her on a sofa, sitting close beside and taking her hands in his.
He peered into her eyes with an intensity she had come to recognize, and said, “Very well, Elizabeth. Tell me what is troubling you.”
She was momentarily struck dumb and then stammered, “What do you mean?”
“Do not play coy with me, beloved. I can feel when something is amiss in your heart. You have not been quite your lively self. Several opportunities to laugh at and tease me mercilessly passed you right by! That would never occur if all was well.” He tenderly stroked her cheek. “Please enlighten me to your distress. Allow me to comfort you.” He spoke softly and with tremendous love.
She knew this was the opportunity she had been waiting for, yet found herself unsure how to proceed. He waited patiently while she struggled within, never once letting go of her hands or ceasing his gentle caress or removing his eyes from her face.
“You are correct, William; I am troubled. We need to speak of a delicate subject. Or rather I need to speak of it. You must bear with me for this is exceedingly uncomfortable.” She tentatively met his eyes and saw only devotion there. She took a deep breath and launched into her tale. “You must promise me, William, that you will not interrupt. This is quite difficult for me and I cannot lose my nerve or train of thought. Do you promise?”
For the first time Darcy was beginning to feel alarm. He had imagined some wedding issue that she was concerned about, but now he perceived it was more serious. Still, his trust in her was absolute so he promised without hesitation.
She began by haltingly describing her anxieties about their wedding night, her maidenly qualms of the unknown as well as her fears of disappointing him. He relaxed as she spoke. He understood her completely on this subject because he harbored the same emotions, but he was utterly confident that their love would triumph beautifully. She told him about her conversation with Mrs. Gardiner, and he had to smile. He greatly respected Lizzy’s aunt; he found her a delightful woman of superior common sense.
Lizzy described her nightmare, which he thought rather humorous except for how she depicted his reactions and the memories of the past that were conjured up. He thought they had thoroughly discussed their horrible miscomprehensions and had agreed to pardon each other. Of course, dreams could not be controlled.
She paused momentarily, then arose from the sofa. He watched her carefully and felt his alarm again increasing. She walked several feet away, keeping her eyes averted. After a huge swallow, she resumed. She told him about Mrs. Bennet’s “advice.” He saw no humor in it at all, and his countenance darkened further with each passing word. He frowned at the very notion that he would seek to “control” his Elizabeth as her mother intimated. His eyes blazed at the implication that he would ever force himself on her against her will. By the time she repeated the “producing an heir” statement, his fists were clenched and his mouth a thin line of anger.
He was rigid on the sofa, stunned beyond coherent thought, aching for Elizabeth having to endure such torture. He was livid and intensely offended. It was fortuitous that Lizzy had turned away from him, or she never would have told him the rest. When she did, Darcy reached the end of his forbearance.
“No!” he roared and jerked up from his seat, causing Elizabeth to start violently. “This is unconscionable! How could she accuse me of such a malicious falsehood! It is not to be borne!” Darcy was beside himself with wrath. “Elizabeth, you surely do not lend any credence to this… this… filth?”
Lizzy was terrified. She had rarely witnessed Darcy so furious. “William… I…”
Something in her face brought him up short and he looked at her in horror. Suddenly bereft of the air necessary for speech, he could only gasp, “You do!”
He turned away from her, and it was her nightmare coming true. She had to think! She approached him slowly and placed her hand gently on his arm, feeling his tension. “William, you must listen to me.” She spoke very softly. “I know you are not the man my mother says you are. I know you love me and would never hurt me. Ours is a relationship and a love far superior to my parents’. I am confident in this.”