I got the gloves from Hiram and pulled them on. They were sweaty inside, and hot. It was starting to warm up in the gym, as the air-conditioning was off and the air came from the same place as the light – the outside.
“You should go to church,” Fitzgerald said to me. “Everyone should go to church.”
“How do you know I don’t?” I said. “I might preach somewhere. God might have sent me here to whip your butt.”
“No,” he said, smiling. “I don’t think so. Your friend, he went to church, he might realize the perversion of his homosexuality. He could change his ways. There might be forgiveness from the Lord.”
“Might be?” I said.
I took up a southpaw position and we moved and threw some jabs, but there was no real connection. Fitzgerald said, “There’s no true home in the House of the Lord for the sodomite, young man.”
“Let it be, Fitz,” Hiram said from the sidelines. “Just box.”
I threw a quick jab and hit the Reverend on the forehead, and we started shuffling about, looking for openings. I said, “You make homosexuality sound like a true sin. Right up there with murderers, child molesters, false prophets. You might as well include unmarried mothers and illegitimate children.”
Fitzgerald studied me curiously. He jabbed and right-crossed and hooked. Lightly. I blocked and countered with a weak combination.
We moved apart, he said, “There are some who are lost to the joys of heaven. They have to be put aside.”
“Aside?” I said, and hooked him with a left to the gut, hooked him hard. He covered and slid back. “What’s ‘aside’ mean, Reverend? You sound as if you’re out to punish souls instead of save them.”
His face turned into a black Kabuki mask, and he came with a jab and a crossing combination. I took it on the side of my face and rolled it, but it still hurt. We weren’t playing tag now. I got my focus. I let myself settle. I tried not to concentrate too much. I tried to relax and let the reflexes take over. I thought too much, I was going to get hit while putting together a combination. I had to react, not plan, and I had to remember not to kick. We were boxing.
I threw a jab and tried a hook, and Fitzgerald leaned away from the jab and moved outside of the hook and came over my hand and hit me with a right cross over the left eye.
I bobbed and weaved and let a couple of shots ricochet off me while I got it together, then we were close and the fists were flying and I was distantly aware of the sound of the gloves as they slapped on our sweaty flesh, and I was aware of moving in and out of light and shadow, and finally, when he stood in shadow and I stood in light, with the sun at my back, I decided to hold him. I wasn’t going to move. He wasn’t coming into the light. He was going to take what I had to give in shadow. Take it and like it.
I took a few myself and had to like it, but I had moved beyond pain. It was going to take a damn good shot for me to feel it now. We weren’t playing. We were hitting. Hiram said, “Hey, men, too much,” but we didn’t stop, we kept slinging and the sound of the gloves became sweet, like a backbeat to good music, and Fitzgerald tried to press hard, to move around me, to move into the light, to push against me and bring himself to my side of the gym, but I wouldn’t let him. He tied me up, I shoved him off and jabbed him. He tried to circle, I hooked and crossed.
Hiram was calling something from the side, but I wasn’t aware of it anymore, I couldn’t make sense of his words. There was a copper taste in my mouth. And then there was a great shadow, like a cloud moving before the sun, and I knew T.J. had slid up behind me, eclipsing my light, and I sensed him close to me, ready to grab me, and I thought of those children, like rag dolls in his hands.
Fitzgerald tried to bob and explode, like Smokin’ Joe Frazier, but when he bobbed, I uppercut him solid enough to bring him on his toes, and I hooked him on the jaw and was driving him back farther into shadow, going with him, deeper into shadow, and he was in trouble, but holding up, and then I felt a vise fasten around my body, trapping my arms to my sides, and I could smell anxiety sweat as T.J. crushed me to him and the gym began to spin. I struggled in his grasp, thought about stomping back and down to break his kneecaps, or driving the back of my head into his face, but this was a friendly situation, nothing serious here – a little out of hand, but friendly. Any second T.J. would let go. He’d realize his brother was in no real trouble here. He’d drop me. Someone would stop him.
The walls of the gym turned to hot liquid and flowed over me and the ceiling fell down and light and shadow scrambled and there were bongos in my head and I realized I had waited too late, because T.J. wasn’t going to put me down, and I was too weak now to do anything about it.
Bright and dark, bending in upon themselves, whirling around and around to the tune of blood pounding in my skull, and I had a flash of that dream where I was underwater in the bookmobile with Illium and Chester and the dead boy with the flesh floating away from his bones.
…
When I awoke, I was on the floor of the gym. First thing I saw was Hiram. He was leaning over me. He looked concerned. He said, “Hap, you OK?”
“Yeah,” I said.
Fitzgerald came into view. “Sorry about T.J. Normally, he stays in check. He got the feeling we were really into it. He squeezed your air out.”
“I know,” I said. “And we were into it.”
I sat up slowly. The gym was only moving a little. My ribs were mildly sore. I figured that would balance out the knot on my head I’d gotten the night before. I’d certainly had an interesting two days, and it wasn’t even lunch yet.
T.J. was standing against the far wall with his hands by his sides and his head hung. He looked as passive as a puppet. I thought: Klaatu barada nikto.
“Yeah,” Fitzgerald said, “we were into it. It’s my turn to apologize again. For T.J. And for going so hard, keeping up with the rhetoric. I guess I do bear a little animosity for the other day, and I just can’t help but be a preacher. By the way, you were putting it on me pretty good. But I’d have come back.”
“Now we’ll never know, will we?”
“Maybe we’ll do it again sometime.”
I got up slowly with Hiram’s assistance. “It could happen,” I said.
On the way home, Hiram was quiet until we turned onto Comanche Street. He said, “Man, there’s more than stuff between him and Leonard. What’s the deal with you two, that’s what I want to know?”
“Bad chemistry,” I said.
35.
When we got back and I was out of the van telling Hiram ’bye, apologizing for going in the first place and letting things escalate the way they did, I began to feel a strange sensation.
It was partially due to the fact that Hanson’s car was parked at the curb along with a pickup I didn’t recognize, and of course, I knew what that meant. But there was something else, and I didn’t understand it until I was on Uncle Chester’s porch about to open the door. Then it hit me.
The sensation was fear. Because now I knew what I thought I’d known all along. Fitzgerald was a killer.
I had been with him and his giant brother, and I had been unconscious on the floor of Fitzgerald’s gym. I had pushed certain buttons inside Fitzgerald and inside myself, and it was possible I had fucked things up. I had let the Reverend know I knew something was going on with him and the kids.
Perhaps all that had saved me and Hiram was the fact that Fitzgerald assumed someone, like MeMaw, knew where we were going. Then again, had he been inclined, he could have taken his chances, put us unconscious in Hiram’s van and taken us for a little drive that ended at the bottom of some pond somewhere – an exit like Illium’s. Maybe kiddie porn would be found in our possession. And when the good Reverend was questioned, all he had to say was we never arrived. Or that we came and went.
Then again, that might have been too complicated in broad daylight, or Fitzgerald may have figured me for nothing more than a belligerent sinner and not worthy of action.