He said no. There was a gleam in his eyes. "If you need any help with all the ladies, Archie, for my age I am not to be ignored. A Swiss has a long usefulness."
"Thanks. I may need you. Theodore told you?"
"No. Mr. Wolfe told me."
"The hell he did."
I was supposed to report myself in whenever I returned from an errand, so I went to the office and buzzed the plant rooms, where Wolfe spent every afternoon from four to six, on the house phone.
"I'm back," I told him. "Delivered according to plan. By the way, I'll put them on Wellman's account at three dollars per. A bargain for him."
"No. I do not sell orchids."
"He's a client. They were a required item."
"I do not sell orchids," he said gruffly and hung up. I got out the work book and figured the time and expenses of Saul and Fred and Orrie, who had been called off, and made out their checks.
The first call came a little before six. I usually answer, "Nero Wolfe's office, Archie Goodwin speaking," but thought it advisable, temporarily, to make a cut, and said merely, "Archie Goodwin speaking."
A dry clipped voice, but still female, asked, "Is this Mr. Archie Goodwin?"
"Yes."
"My name is Charlotte Adams. I have received a box of orchids with a note from you inside. Thank you very much."
"You're welcome. They're nice, aren't they?"
"They're beautiful, only I don't wear orchids. Are they from Mr. Nero Wolfe's conservatory?"
"Yes, but he doesn't call it that. Go ahead and wear them, that's what they're for."
"I'm forty-eight years old, Mr. Goodwin, so the possible reasons for your sending me orchids are rather restricted. More so than with some of the other recipients. Why did you send them?"
"I'll be frank with you, Miss Adams. Miss Adams?"
"No. Mrs. Adams."
"I'll be frank anyway. Girls keep getting married and moving to Jackson Heights, and my list of phone numbers is getting pretty ragged. I asked myself what would girls like to see that I can offer, and the answer was ten thousand orchids. They're not mine, but I have access. So you're cordially invited to come tomorrow evening at six o'clock, nine-oh-two West Thirty-fifth Street, and look at the orchids, and then we'll all have dinner together, and I see no reason why we shouldn't have a good time. Have you got the address?"
"Am I supposed to swallow this rigmarole, Mr. Goodwin?"
"Don't bother to swallow it. Do your swallowing tomorrow at dinner. I promise it will be fit to swallow. Will you come?"
"I doubt it," she said, and hung up.
Wolfe had entered during the conversation and got established behind his desk. He was frowning at me and pulling at his lower lip with a finger and thumb.
I addressed him. "A bum start. Nearly fifty, married, and a wise guy. She had checked the number somehow and knew it was yours. However, I intended to tell them that anyhow. We've got -"
"Archie."
"Yes, sir."
"What was that flummery about dinner?"
"No flummery. I haven't told you, I've decided to ask them to stay to dinner. It will be much -"
"Stay to dinner here?"
"Certainly."
"No." It was his flattest no.
I flared. "That," I said, as flat as him, "is childish. You have a low opinion of women and'-now let me finish - anyhow, you don't want them around. But because this case has completely dried up on you, you have dumped this in my lap, and I need all the play I can get, and besides, are you going to send a crowd of your fellow beings, regardless of sex, away from your house hungry at the dinner hour?"
His lips were tight. He parted them to speak. "Very well. You can take them to dinner at Rusterman's. I'll phone Marko and he'll give you a private room. When you know how many -"
The phone rang, and I swiveled and got it and told the transmitter, "Archie Goodwin speaking."
A feminine voice said, "Say something else."
"It's your turn," I stated.
"Was it you that brought the boxes?"
It was the switchboard misanthrope. "Right," I admitted. "Did they all get delivered?"
"Yes, all but one. One was home sick. Brother, did you stir up some hell around there! Is it true that you're the Archie Goodwin that works for Nero Wolfe?"
"I am. This is his number."
"Well, well! The note said to call it and ask why. Why?"
"I'm lonely and I'm giving a party. Tomorrow at six. Here at Nero Wolfe's place. The address is in the book. You will be in no danger if enough of you come. Plenty of orchids, plenty of drinks, a chance to know me better, and a dinner fit for Miss America. May I ask your name?"
"Sure, Blanche Duke. You say tomorrow at six?"
"That's right."
"Would you care to make a note of something?"
"I love to make notes."
"Put down Blanche Duke. Isn't that a hell of a name? Two jiggers of dry gin, one of dry vermouth, two dashes of grenadine, and two dashes of Pernod. Got it?"
"Yeah."
"I may come tomorrow, but if I don't, try that yourself. I never know what I'm going to do tomorrow."
I told her she'd better come, swiveled, and spoke to Wolfe.
"That's better than Mrs. Adams, at least. Not so bad for the first hour after the office closed. About taking them to Rusterman's, they'd probably like going to the best restaurant in New York, but -"
"You won't take them to Rusterman's."
"No? You said?"
"I've reconsidered. You will give them dinner here. I'll arrange the menu with Fritz-perhaps Mondor patties, and duckling with cherries and grapes. For women, the Pasti Grey Riesling will be good enough; I'm glad to have a use for it."
"But you don't care for it."
"I won't be here. I shall leave at five minutes to six, dine with Marko, and spend the evening with him."
I have often stated, in these reports of Wolfe's activities, that he never leaves the house on business, but I suppose now I'll have to qualify it. Strictly speaking, I could say that his intention was not to leave the house on business, merely on account of business, but that would be quibbling.
I protested. "You ought to be here to look them over. They'll be expecting to see you. Mrs. Adams is forty-eight, about right for you, and she can't have a happy home life or she wouldn't be working. Besides, how do you -"
The phone rang. I got it and said who I was. A high soprano made me hold the receiver away from my ear.
"Mr. Goodwin, I simply had to call you! Of course it isn't proper, since I've never met you, but if I don't tell you my name and never see you I don't think it will be such a terrible misstep, do you? Those are the loveliest orchids I have ever seen! I'm going to a little party this evening, just a few of us at a friend's apartment, and I'm going to wear them, and can you imagine what they'll say? And can you imagine what I'll say when they ask me who gave them to me? I simply can't imagine! Of course I can say they're from an unknown admirer, but really I'm not the kind of girl who would dream of having unknown admirers, and I haven't the faintest idea what I'll say when they ask me, but I simply can't resist wearing them because -"
When I hung up, five minutes later, Wolfe muttered at me, "You didn't invite her."
"No," I assented. "She's a virgin. And as far as I'm concerned she always will be."
8
THAT was the first time in history that a bunch of outsiders had been let into the plant rooms with Wolfe not there. The awful responsibility damn near got Theodore down. Not only did he regard it as up to him to see that none of them toppled a bench over or snitched a blossom from one of the rare hybrids, but also I had arranged a fancy assortment of liquids on a table in the potting room, which was being freely patronized by some of the guests, and he was afraid one of them would spill a glass of 80-proof into a pot that he had been nursing for ten years. I was sorry to give him that added anxiety, but I wanted them relaxed.