Abby rolled her eyes. “Do you see anybody here who’s pregnant?” she huffed.
“Not yet,” I needled.
“And you never will!” she said, flipping her long braid from one shoulder to the other. “I’m no dope, you dig? I’ve got a diaphragm, and I know how to use it.”
(I had a diaphragm, too, I should tell you-courtesy of the Margaret Sanger Clinic on 16th Street. I’d had myself fitted for the contraceptive device right after Dan and I started dating, when I came to realize how thoroughly attracted to him I was. I hadn’t used the contraption yet-nor did I intend to anytime in the near future-but my desire for Dan was so intense, I couldn’t be sure of my self-control. And like any good Girl Scout, I believed in being prepared.)
“The diaphragm isn’t infallible, you know,” I said, turning serious and giving Ab the evil eye. I hated to be such a nag and a killjoy, but I felt it was my solemn duty. Abby was the best friend I’d ever had in my life. I loved her like a sister. And if she ever had to suffer the brutal social ostracism of unwed motherhood, or the wrenching torture of giving up her baby for adoption, or-worse-the pain and horror of a squalid backstreet abortion, I didn’t think either one of us would be able stand it.
Abby tossed her head and let out a loud guffaw. “Chastity ain’t the answer, either, babe!” she insisted. “It may keep you from getting pregnant, but it still makes your life miserable!”
“How would you know?” I teased. “You’ve never tried it.”
We were both laughing now-which was the way most of our sex-focused sparring matches ended: in a draw, with a couple of chuckles and no hard feelings.
“Speaking of chastity,” Abby said, “will the sex-starved Detective Street be dropping by to see you tonight?”
“Not a chance,” I said, heaving a pregnant sigh. (No pun intended. I swear!) “He left town early this morning and drove up to Maine with his daughter. They’re spending the holiday weekend with his parents. And since Monday is the big day-July Fourth, I mean-they won’t be back till Tuesday.”
“Did he invite you to go with them?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because Dan planned the trip just for his daughter-he wants Katy to get to know her grandparents better. If I had gone with them, it would have changed everything. The focus would have been on me instead of Katy. Dan has told his daughter about me, but I haven’t met her yet. And I don’t think Dan wants me to-not until he’s absolutely sure our relationship’s going to last.” I snuffed out my cigarette and poured some more gin down my throat, dabbing at my steamy cheeks with the soggy cocktail napkin.
Abby shrugged her shoulders. “Sounds like Danny the dick is as uptight as you are.”
“He’s not uptight, he’s upright!” I cried, springing like a Doberman to Dan’s defense. “He’s strong and sensible and protective and considerate! He went through hell with his unfaithful ex-wife, and their divorce was pretty awful, and he doesn’t want Katy-or himself-to be subjected to anything like that ever again. Katy’s fifteen now-that’s a very emotional age, you know!” I was getting pretty emotional myself.
“Cool down, kiddo,” Abby said, lifting her heavy braid off her neck, letting the breeze circulate underneath. “Don’t say another word. I get the picture already! You’re a prude, and Dan likes it that way. He’d rather trust you than shtup you. And you-you’re even worse! You’d rather suffer than be satisfied! You’re both just a couple of straitlaced shlumps who’ve forgotten how to enjoy life.” She let her braid fall down her back and gave me a goofy grin. “You’re perfect for each other.”
I laughed. In a way, she was right. Dan and I were a couple of straitlaced characters, doing our best to live by-and even help enforce-society’s rules. But Abby was dead wrong about one thing: we had not-repeat, not-forgotten how to enjoy life. (Though I hadn’t yet taken Dan into my bed and we hadn’t yet gone all the way, we’d been having a darn good time taking side trips on the couch.)
“Has he told you that he loves you yet?” Abby wanted to know.
“Well, no,” I sadly admitted.
“Have you told him?”
“No!” I sputtered. “I’m the woman! I can’t say it to him till he says it to me.”
Abby rolled her eyes. She thought my feminine inhibitions were absurd. “Look, I’d like nothing better than to sit around talking about sex all night,” she said, suddenly plunking her empty glass down on the table and adjusting the plunging neckline of her black halter-top dress. “It is, after all, my favorite subject. But I’m afraid I have to cut this conversation short right now.” She squashed her cigarette out in the ashtray, scraped her chair away from the table, and stood up. “There’s no more time for chitchat. We have to get ready to go.”
“Huh? What did you say?”
“I said we have to get ready to go.”
“Go? Where?”
“To the theater, my dear,” she said, pronouncing her words in a snooty British accent and playfully sticking her nose in the air. She turned and began circling her apartment, closing and locking the kitchen door, turning off the hi-fi and all the fans. The dense humidity settled on me like a wet wool blanket. I could barely breathe.
“Drink up!” Abby urged. “We have to hurry. The curtain goes up at eight.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I snarled. I wasn’t in the mood for any jokes or surprises. It was too darn hot.
Abby shot me a mischievous smile. “You’ve heard of the theater, haven’t you, my dear?” she asked, still speaking in a pompous tone. “Because that’s where you and I are going tonight. To a smash-hit play on Broadway. And the show starts at eight.” She looked at her watch. “Oy vey!” she cried, suddenly dropping her British airs and reverting to her Yiddish roots. “It’s almost seven thirty already! We’ve got to leave right this minute or we’ll miss the opening curtain. C’mon, Paige, get up! Let’s go!”
Now I don’t know about you, but I really hate being yanked around like a poodle on a leash.
“I’m not going anywhere!” I growled, crossing my arms over my chest and staying firmly glued to my chair. “I just got home from work! I’m exhausted. I’m hungry. My feet hurt. I’m perishing from the heat!”
“The theater will be air-conditioned,” Abby said.
“Right,” I replied. Then I hopped up, grabbed my purse, and pranced like a poodle to the door.
WE WERE LUCKY. THE VERY MINUTE WE descended into the Sheridan Square subway station and stepped out onto the platform, the uptown local arrived and whisked us away. “Hey, bobba ree bop!,” Abby crowed, lurching against me as the train whipped around a sudden curve in the tracks. “If we can catch an express at fourteenth street, we’ll make it just in time.”
“In time for what?” I snapped. “You still haven’t told me what play we’re going to see. I hope it’s not The Pajama Game-but, knowing you, it probably is.” (I didn’t name this particular play just so I could make a snippy reference to Abby’s love of bedroom sports. No lie. I really didn’t want to see the popular musical. I’d read the reviews and thought it sounded silly.)
Abby gave me a dirty look. “No, it’s not the goddamn PJ Game!” she said, shouting to be heard above the clamor of the train. “It’s a serious drama, not a comedy. It was written by Tennessee Williams-that sensitive Southern cat who wrote A Streetcar Named Desire-and it’s directed by Elia Kazan, whose latest movie, East of Eden, is-to use a moldy but apt expression-the cat’s pajamas. This play is cool, you dig? Everybody says it’s gonna win the Pulitzer.”
I was shocked right out of my seamed (and uncomfortably damp) silk stockings. “You mean Cat on a Hot Tin Roof?” I asked. “We’re going to see Cat on a Hot Tin Roof? That’s the hottest ticket in town! Kilgallen and Winchell can’t stop talking about it. They say the show’s booked up until next year. How the hell did you ever get seats? Did you sleep with the producer or something?”