“Do babies burp?”
Lenny laughed and stood up. “Stay right where you are,” he said, heading for his drawing table in the back of the room. “I’ll get my lunchbox.” Two seconds later he was back sitting in the guest chair across from me, opening his big black lunchpail (the one I bought him for Christmas last year), and taking out two waxed paper-wrapped packages, which he placed on the desk between us. Then out came a Mason jar full of applesauce.
“So what’s your hot new story all about?” Lenny asked, unwrapping the salami sandwich and splitting it in two. “Who got killed?”
“A young actor by the name of Gray Gordon,” I told him. “He was stabbed to death in his Greenwich Village apartment, just a couple of blocks over from me. That’s why Pomeroy gave me the assignment. He figures I have a better sense of the territory than Mike does, that I’ll be able to dig up more information.” I took a huge bite of my half-a-sandwich and chomped it eagerly.
“You’d do a better job investigating and writing
any story,” Lenny declared, opening the package of potato pancakes and giving three of them to me. “Mike Davidson has no sense. He should be forced to wear a dunce cap twenty-four hours a day.”
I giggled. “And what about Mario? What should his sentence be?”
“That’s easy,” Lenny snorted. “Mario Caruso should stand nose-to-the-wall for eternity, while legions of
unblindfolded children pin tails on his donkey.”
We chuckled together for a few moments, enjoying the goofy images that Lenny had just invoked. Then we put a lid on our laughter and got down to some serious eating. The crispy, golden, onion-flecked pancakes were out of this world and, between bites, Lenny and I took turns spooning the fragrant applesauce straight from the jar into our greedy mouths. All the food was devoured in nine minutes flat.
“So what’s with the clashing duds?” Lenny asked, swiping his finger through a glob of stray mustard and licking it clean. “I never saw you look quite so, uh, colorful. Did you get dressed in the dark?”
“No, just in a hurry. I forgot to set my alarm and I woke up really late.”
“Oh, c’mon, Paige! That’s not the whole story and you know it. I took a good look at you when you came in this morning, and you had a lot more than punctuality on your mind. You looked like you were running for your life-not just to get to work on time.”
(See? I
told you Lenny had me pegged.)
“And later on I saw you whispering on the phone to somebody, trying to hide what you were doing. You’re up to something,” he went on. “Something dangerous. And I’ll give you five seconds to tell me what it is.”
I spent the allotted time deciding whether or not to tell Lenny the truth. I didn’t want him to worry about me or feel like he had to watch over me (having saved my life once, he might feel honor-bound to attempt it again), but I didn’t want to deprive myself of his protective camaraderie, either (it feels good to have somebody know your troubles and be on your side).
When my five seconds were up, I leaned back in my chair, lit a cigarette, and spilled the beans. All of them.
LENNY STARTED YELLING AT ME THE very second I finished the tale of my gruesome “holiday” weekend. “God damn it, Paige! Have you lost your goddamn mind? This is really critical! How did you ever let yourself get involved in such a deadly mess?” (So much for protective camaraderie.)
“I didn’t
let myself get involved!” I shrieked. “I was forcibly involved by fate. And by Abby-although it wasn’t her fault, either. Do you think we chose to discover the body? Do you think we allowed ourselves the pleasure of finding poor Gray slashed to bloody shreds on his living room floor?”
“Look, I didn’t mean it like that. What I meant was-”
“Oh, hush! I know what you meant! You were saying that I shouldn’t have started my own investigation, that it was up to the police to find the killer, not me!” I struck a match and fired up another L &M. “But what the hell was I supposed to do? Just sit back and let Detective Flannagan pin the murder on Willy Sinclair, even though I know he didn’t do it?” I took a drag on my cigarette, then spewed the fumes out in an angry swoosh.
“What makes you so sure it wasn’t Willy?” Lenny probed, squinting at me through his uncommonly thick lenses. “All the evidence points to him, but for some reason you’re ignoring it. You know what I think? I think-”
“Please keep your thoughts to yourself,” I broke in, speaking in a much nastier tone than intended. “I can’t handle any more opposition right now. Dan’s furious at me, Flannagan’s up in arms, and now you… But there’s no turning back. I’m working on
assignment now, you know. If I don’t continue with my investigation, and produce an accurate, detailed, well-researched account of the murder, I could lose my job. Is that what you want?”
Lenny was hurt by my hotheaded response. And I felt so bad about the way I’d just spoken to him I wanted to apologize on the spot, beg him to forgive me on bended knee. I would have done it, too, if Mike and Mario hadn’t picked that very moment to come strutting back into the office, posturing and crowing like two demented roosters.
“Hey, Mike, would you look at this?” Mario said, gesturing toward Lenny and me with a malignant smile on his sweaty face. “The lovebirds had a little picnic together. Isn’t that sweet?” (Mario was jealous of my close friendship with Lenny, so he made fun of it at every opportunity.)
“Yeah,” Mike said. “Real sweet.”
“Too bad we busted up their cozy little heart-to-heart,” Mario needled.
“Yeah,” Mike said. “Too bad.”
“But now that we’re here, and the lunch hour is officially over,” Mario went on, “don’t you think they ought to stop slobbering all over each other and get back to work?”
“Yeah,” Mike said. “Sure do.”
“Because if they don’t,” Mario added, “Mr. Pomeroy will probably find out about their wicked waste of time, and make them work late tonight. And I really would hate to see that happen, wouldn’t you?”
“Yep,” Mike said. “Sure would.” But even he was getting bored with Mario’s stupid little game. Looping his hat and jacket on the coat rack, Mike strode down the aisle past my desk and sat down at his own. He rolled a piece of paper into his typewriter and started pecking out another sure-to-be-shoddy clip story.
Without his accomplice at his side, Mario lost some of his spiteful steam. Hanging up his own hat and jacket, he turned to Lenny and inquired, “Did you finish the cover paste-up yet?”
“No, I’m waiting for some repros from the typesetter,” Lenny replied. “They should be delivered this afternoon.”
“What about the ‘Gun-Happy Harlot from Harlem’ story? Did you finish that layout?”
“Uh, no… it’s not due until next week.”
“I don’t care when it’s due!” Mario ranted. “Go back to your desk and get to work on it right now!”
Lenny’s face turned beet red, but he didn’t say anything to Mario. He didn’t dare. Mario was his immediate boss and could have him fired at any time. Without a groan, or even a sigh, of protest, Lenny rose to his feet, plunked the empty Mason jar in his metal lunchpail, and then carried the rattling pail-along with his rattled pride-back to his place at the rear of the workroom.
Deliberately avoiding eye contact with Mario, I crumpled up the greasy sheets of waxed paper and tossed them in my wastebasket. Then I took the stack of unrecorded invoices out of my drawer and began studying the one on top as if it were a new edition of the Kinsey Report. I was so mad at Mario, I was afraid of myself. If Mario said one word to me-or one more word to Lenny-I might tell him where to get off. Or sock him in the nose. Or bonk him on the bean with Pomeroy’s marble ashtray. And then I’d either be fired for insubordination, or arrested and charged with assault, or taken into custody and booked for murder.