“I just joined the staff,” answered Jupe. “You were asking about Juliet Coop, Mr. ”
Jupiter was hoping the caller would fill in the blank with his name.
Instead the man asked, “How is she?”
“Well, I’m only supposed to give out that information to the immediate family,” Jupe said. “Are you a family member?”
After a pause, the man said, “I’m a friend of the family.”
“A close friend?” asked Jupe.
Question and answer. Thrust and parry. Cat and mouse. The mouse ducked into another hole.
“Look, all I want to know is, is she going to be all right?” said the man.
“She has regained consciousness,” Jupe said, listening carefully for the reaction on the other end of the line. “She’s out of danger,” he added.
“Yeah,” said the voice. But it didn’t sound like a happy yeah, or a relieved yeah, or even a questioning yeah. It sounded very much to Jupiter Jones like a that’s-what-you-think yeah.
It gave Jupe a bad feeling. “I’ll be happy to tell her you called,” Jupe said, trying once more to get a name from the caller.
“That’s okay, Doc,” said the voice. “I’ll be interfacing with her.” The man hung up.
“What happened? What’s wrong?” asked Pete, impatient with Jupe’s silence.
“He stopped interfacing with me,” Jupe said, putting the phone back on the desk just as Nurse Lazar returned with a young intern.
“The guy’s a real pain,” she said to the intern as she picked up the receiver. But the line was dead. “I don’t believe it. He hung up!” she said in disgust.
“He’s more than a pain,” Jupe said softly to his friends. “He’s a mystery. Something is going on and I don’t understand it.”
“Translation: You’re not quitting after all, right?” Bob said.
“I never said I was quitting,” Jupe replied. “I don’t know what and she can’t remember why, but I think Juliet Coop is in some kind of danger. And we’re the only ones who know it. We’ve got to stay close to her.”
But for the time being, they couldn’t stay close to Juliet because they each had pressing things to do. Pete, who often did auto repairs for a few bucks, had to finish adjusting the ignition timing on his neighbor’s Corvette.
Bob was due again at the talent agency, where he worked part-time. One of its rock bands needed help setting up for a club date.
And Jupe had promised to check in with Mrs. Teitelbaum, the neighbor who had given him the melon diet in the first place. Mrs. Teitelbaum considered herself to be Jupe’s personal one-woman diet support group.
So it was the next morning when two of the Three Investigators got together again. Jupe and Pete met at the hospital because both Kelly and Juliet were checking out.
Kelly was ecstatic to be leaving. Juliet’s spirits had improved, too, but her memory still hadn’t returned. She sat on her bed, waiting for Big Barney to come and take her home.
“Knowing Big Barney,” Juliet said, “he’ll probably show up in a gorilla suit, or bring a mariachi band to the hospital. My dad loves jokes, you know.”
Ten minutes later Big Barney stuck his head in the door. “Hey! Remember me?” He was wearing a brown jogging suit and he had a fake arrow through his head.
“Dad, I’ve only forgotten twenty hours, not twenty years,” Juliet said. “Of course I remember you. The question is: Did you remember to bring the stuff I asked for?”
Big Barney produced a small suitcase and Juliet opened it. She pulled out a pair of blue silk pajamas and held them up.
“What are these?” she asked.
“Blue silk pants and blouse,” Big Barney said cheerfully. “Just like you asked for.”
“Wrong closet, Dad.” Juliet laughed. “These are pajamas. I can’t go outside in pajamas!”
Big Barney pushed his sunglasses onto his forehead and held out the pajamas at arm’s length. “Pajamas?. Okay, no problem,” he said, the gears in his head already clicking full speed. “We just tell people you’re late for a pajama party. Hahaha!” His laugh boomed through the hospital.
“No way,” Juliet said, shaking her head. “If Mom were still alive, she’d punch you for even suggesting that!”
“Okay, no problem,” Big Barney said. He looked Kelly over as she stood by her bed, packing to leave. “How about her? She looks about a hundred and fifteen pounds.”
Kelly was amazed. “One fifteen exactly,” she said. “How did you know?”
“I know how much a chicken weighs from thirty yards,” said Big Barney. “Similar bone structure. I’d say your clothes would fit my Julie.”
“Come on, Dad,” Juliet said, embarrassed. “I can’t do that. Sorry, Kelly. Sometimes he forgets that the whole world doesn’t jump when he pushes an intercom button.”
“Hey, it’s a great idea,” Kelly said. “You’re welcome to borrow some clothes.”
“You’re a lifesaver!” Juliet said gratefully. She closed up the suitcase Big Barney had brought. “Maybe I could borrow some makeup, too? No makeup bag, Dad,” Juliet scolded. She hopped out of bed, gave her father a hug, and said teasingly, “Which one of us lost our memory, I wonder?”
“Here,” Kelly said, carrying her own suitcase over to Juliet’s side of the room. “Take what you want.”
“Thanks,” Juliet said. “I’ll get them back to you.’
“No rush,” said Kelly.
“Hey, you know what?” Juliet said. “Dad’s giving me a welcome-home party in a couple of days. Why don’t you all come? It’ll be a great party and you can pick up your clothes then, Kelly.”
“Sounds great!” Kelly exclaimed.
Jupe also smiled, but he kept it to himself. A party at the Chicken King’s house? A chance to observe Big Barney up close and personal? What could be better?
5
The Party Animal
Jupiter Jones sat on the corner of his bed and pulled on his socks. It was the day of the party at Big Barney Coop’s mansion and Jupe was nervous. This was going to be a tough assignment. Not because of the investigation — he was looking forward to that. But what was he going to say to people, more specifically, to girls at the party?
He stood up and tucked a bright polo shirt into his chinos. He faced his mirror. Not bad for a slightly overweight, medium height guy with unruly black hair. Wait a minute. Did the shirt look better tucked in or left out? It was stretching rather tightly over his stomach.
Then be began to have an imaginary conversation in his head. He was talking to a girl, the girl he’d like to meet at the party. She was petite and dainty, with short, curly hair.
“You probably haven’t noticed me, but I’ve been staring at you uncontrollably for half an hour,” said the imaginary girl with a smile.
“I notice everything,” Jupe answered confidently.
“Want some chicken?” she asked, temptingly holding out a plate of Big Barney’s best.
“No, thanks,” Jupe said, looking into the mirror in his room. “I’m trying to lose a few.”
“Gee, I really admire guys who have will power,” replied the girl in Jupe’s daydream.
She likes me, Jupe thought.
“Are you a friend of Big Barney’s?”
“Actually I’m here to see if he’s poisoning his chickens,” Jupe said bluntly.
The girl’s eyes opened wide. “You mean,” she said excitedly, “you’re a real detective?”
But by the time Jupe had tried on a more flattering T-shirt, his imaginary date was asking him a really tough question. “Why would someone who’s made millions selling fried chicken suddenly decide to poison his own food?” she asked.
“That’s a very astute question,” said Jupe. “And I’m not sure of the answer. Maybe he’s trying to scare ol’ Michael Argenti. Maybe he’s poisoning just a small sample of his own birds, so that when Argenti takes a sample, he’ll find contamination. Or maybe he’s poisoning Argenti’s Roast Roost chickens as a counter attack. There are a lot of possibilities.”