It had fallen forward underneath the table's edge. I blurted out that I would pick it up, but the wretched maid insisted on doing it and sprang forward like a young gazelle. I made to grab it from her fingers, but then stayed myself. To do so in front of Sylvia would have looked absurd, for I have always insisted that the maid do such. Alas, to my supreme honor Rose's hand encountered that which Jane had left more stiff. She had the grace to blush- at her young age she would-and said 'Oh, sir!' and rushed from out the room.
“What is to do?', asked Sylvia and then called, 'Rose!', and ran out after her, not asking me if she might leave the table as she ordinarily does.
'My god, what have you done-on top of all?', I asked of Muriel and Jane.
I had not meant to speak to them, but knew I must find voice at this.
The male displays himself, my dear. It is very proper so to do in his own abode where surely he is king?', said Jane. I seared her with my eyes; she did not blink. Outside the door were whisperings.
'For god's sake fetch Sylvia back', said I, unable to get up myself in my ill-wished condition and fretful as to what things might be said by Rose whom I determined to dismiss.
'If you so wish, sir', Muriel said sarcastically, but ambled slowly out, opened the door and left it just ajar, and I forced to listen to the whisperings.
“You may both have to', I heard Muriel say. There was a squeak from Sylvia then. Unable to restrain myself, I bellowed out her name and she ran in.
'Finish your meal. Do not get up again until I tell you to', I said, though scolded myself for the severity of my tone which brought a glint of tears into her eyes.
“You would do better to kiss her more often than to scold her, Phillip', Muriel said.
'Be quiet!', I said, but mollified my tone, the which astounded me. I felt uneasy and could scarcely eat. The ghost of Uncle Reggie smiled at me again.
'When your Papa was naughty', said Muriel across the table to Sylvia, 'Mama used to lock him in a cupboard until he atoned for his sins. Shall we lock him in a cupboard now?'
'Muriel, do not be ridiculous', I said. I made to push my chair back, which was fatal, for the pair rose up and seized my arms. Sylvia bit her lip and stared at us, but clearly thought it a game and smiled. Thus was I slyly placed once more in a situation I could not escape without venturing into violence, for they held my arms quite tight and pulled me up. Dear Sylvia knew not whether to smile or to look serious, but in the end her aunts' smiles won, as I feared they would.
'Naughty, naughty Phillip-come', said Jane and tugged on me and Muriel did so, too, I haplessly repeating my original words.
'Open the cupboard, Sylvia-oh, what a lovely game to start the day!', was said.
'No, Sylvia', I wished to say, but that would have dismayed her more. I forced a smile-a mirth I did not feel. Seeing me grimace so, Sylvia laughed in turn and opened up the corner cupboard from which shelves had been long removed. I had meant to have the cupboard, too, removed, and thought it an encumbrance in the room. In a moment I was turned and pushed inside. The cupboard, having double doors and being narrow, I was pressed between the sides, facing to the right. The door closed. There was darkness.
'You may atone by kissing Sylvia instead of scolding her. A proper kiss though, mind', called Muriel and therewith one door opened and with a squeal Sylvia was thrust against me, and the darkness came again.
'Oh, Papa, they are being silly. Really, though, I do not mind', said Sylvia whose lissome form was pressed too closely against mine. Indeed, she could not help but feel the eruption in my trousers to her belly pressed.
'Open the doors!', I called, thereby unwittingly dismaying Sylvia who was convinced I did not wish to kiss her.
'No! We are leaning to it', Jane called back, and indeed I felt their backs thump at the doors while Sylvia's legs quivered to mine, her forehead down against my chest as though dismayed by my refusal to 'obey'.
“You may kiss me if you want, Papa', she murmured and then raised her face. I felt the motion for I could not see. Her nose brushed underneath my chin. The honeysuckle of her breath came up to mine.
'Properly, Phillip! No pecks on the cheek', called Muriel.
'It is silly, but honestly I do not mind, Papa', whispered Sylvia. Her tummy could not help but press against that which it found below. The cupboard, being airless, both my hands were moist. I knew not where to put them, yet could scarcely move my arms in any case. I inclined my head. Our noses touched and faces blindly sought when they should not have done. O honey-sweet her lips, and moist! Boldly she merged them into mine. I held my breath. They lingered, slipped away.
“Well-has he kissed you yet?', called Jane.
'I have indeed-now let us out', I said, wherewith light shone upon us full and Sylvia fell sideways into Muriel's arms, clearly not knowing whether to stay or run away.-'She wishes to go into the garden', I said, effecting as I thought was her release. Indeed, dear Sylvia gave me a thankful glance and ran. They did not impede her. Both looked down at my unwanted display of that which they think of as manliness.
'She brought you up the more', said Jane, and with the effrontery of that remark both turned and hurried out, most craftily calling after Sylvia to wait for them.
Thus am I harried, made a joke of-worse, indeed.
For an hour or so after this ridiculous event that was no doubt meant to shame me in some way, I encountered Sylvia coming up the stairs. She was flushed and looked excited, so I thought.
'You do not have to kiss me, Papa, if you do not want', she said, and then ran in her room and locked her door.
I wished to call out that I did, in my paternalistic way, but knew that in that utterance I would be trapped by Muriel and Jane again who I was sure had put her up to say that very thing just to confuse. I am caught between she-devils and pure innocence.
Would that my once-beloved were here! I know that she would handle this. It needs another woman to outwit the pair. I cannot dismiss Rose, either, for I have no reason to offer up to Sylvia save one that would be impossible to express. Without much thought at first, but in some recompense to Sylvia, I took a ten-pound note from my wallet and slipped it underneath her door.
That is for your clothes', I called.
There was a moment's silence, then I heard it rustle as she picked it up.
Thank you, Papa', she called. Her tone was cool. I thought it so, but possibly my nerves were bad.
I will not have Muriel or Jane buy her anything. At least I have that one small victory, though on reflection it may not be so small, for Sylvia will know who guards her best.
Amy's Day-Book
I know they were doing something last night. I heard noises in Mama's room, and I heard Richard groan, as well. He had not been to bed-I peeped into his room. I thought I heard him say 'Coming', but that makes no sense. Perhaps he said 'Mummy', for he sometimes does, so childishly, instead of just 'Mama', which is more proper for his age.
Mama wore a lacy peignoir at breakfast. I could see her breasts, and so could he. I thought it very rude. She had pink garters on. They also showed. Her thighs are so much plumper than my own. I'm glad my own are not. I read my prayers this morning in my room. I wish that I had stayed with dear Papa.
CHAPTER SIX
Deirdre's Day-Book
A most unexpected afternoon at the home of Maurice and Eveline. Or at least, one frequently thinks such, yet upon reflection has no idea of what one's expectations were.
Eveline and I were alone for the first hour and discoursed much-and very warmly-on the philosophy of love. Such she at least calls it; I have no name for it save pleasure even though at times my conscience strikes me. Her elder daughter, Maude, joined us. She is a striking image of her mother and is twenty now. I expected, upon her appearance, for the conversation to turn and change. Maude gave all appearance, after all, of being quiet and prim, and I had no wish to tantalise the girl with what I thought she did not as yet have herself. Upon her entering, I remarked at hazard (and quite ludicrously) how small the bathroom of our new house is.