She wondered what it would be like to make love with Tristan as though they had never been intimate. She even experienced feelings of anxiety at just the thought of it and wondered if Tristan felt the same.
Pretending to be asleep, Tristan closed her eyes and allowed her mind to wander. There was so much she wanted to say to Claire, but she didn’t know how to begin. Playing opossum, she could avoid having to say anything until she could get her thoughts together. Claire had been patient with her the night before, allowing her time to get used to being back home before getting 200
Robin Alexander
into any serious conversation. She appreciated the kind gesture since she could see that Claire was dying to get everything out in the open.
Tristan did not realize that she had fallen asleep until she heard the sound of the chime when Claire opened her door. She opened her eyes to the gray overcast day and noticed that they were already parked in front of the condo. Claire was scratching Ralph behind the ears as he looked out at the foreign terrain.
“Time to get up, sleepyhead,” Claire said softly. “Can you manage Ralph while I get our things?”
“Just let me get him inside, and I’ll come back and help you,”
Tristan responded sleepily.
After the car was emptied and everything was put away, they went for a walk on the beach while Ralph explored his new surroundings in the condo. They walked in silence along the water’s edge where the sand was packed the tightest.
“I have so much to say to you, Claire, but I can’t seem to put it into words,” Tristan said eventually, breaking the awkward silence.
“I understand,” Claire said softly. “I feel the same way. Can I ask you some questions?”
“Yeah, that might make things easier,” Tristan answered, feeling her insides tense.
”Are you in love with me?”
“Yes, very much so, though my behavior has been anything but indicative of that,” Tristan replied, sneaking a nervous glance at her companion.
“Do you want me to move out of your house for a while until you can sort things out for yourself?” Claire asked, praying the answer would not be yes.
“I consider that house ours, and no, I don’t want you to move out
... unless that’s what you want.”
Claire sighed audibly with relief. “No, I don’t want to move out.
Frankly, I think the best way for us to move past this is to stick together and deal with it.”
Both were silent for a moment, equally pleased with the answers so far. “Tris, why did you continue to send the photos and letters after you got to know me?”
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Tristan swallowed hard, fighting back the emotions that threatened her ability to speak. “When we first met, I was so intimidated by you. You were so open and friendly, even though I was an ass. I wanted you to dislike me because I already felt guilty for what I had done. I’m not sure why, but I felt like I had control over you when I made you afraid. Then, when I got to know you better, I stopped for a while.
“When Mike came into the picture, he made me jealous, and I felt like I had to compete for you, even though I knew deep inside you didn’t care for him. When you didn’t shut him down like I thought you should have, it made me angry, and I just reverted back to what made me feel in control.”
“Do you believe that I’m in love with you?” Claire asked, stopping to look into Tristan’s eyes.
“I know you love me, but sometimes, I don’t understand why.
The therapist says that’s due to my low self-image. Even though you prove your feelings in all you say and do, I still have a hard time accepting it,” Tristan replied honestly.
“That’s something we’ll have to work on together. You will find that I’m very patient, and I feel the reward is worth the effort.”
Claire smiled when Tristan reached over and took her hand, and they continued their stroll.
“Tris, is there anything else you need to tell me? I promise I won’t run away screaming or judge you. I just want everything out in the open.”
Tristan followed as Claire led her up to a pavilion where she sat on a picnic table and Tristan stood in front of her wrapped in her arms. “Actually, Claire, there is something I need to get off my chest,” Tristan said as she burrowed her head into the crook of Claire’s neck.
“Go ahead, baby, you can tell me anything,” Claire said as she tightened her hold.
“Remember a while back when you cooked spinach? Well, I hid it in my napkin; please don’t cook that slimy shit again.”
Claire threw back her head and truly laughed, more so than she had in a month. “I love you, Tristan Delacroix, you smart-assed little shit!”
202
Robin Alexander
EPILOGUE
Tristan wiggled her fingers and stretched her arm as she commented on how strange it felt to have her arm free of the cast.
Claire glanced over at her as she drove her home from the orthopedist. The woman sitting next to her had changed so much in the last few months.
Claire had witnessed her breakdown in the sessions with the therapist while she relayed the events of her childhood. She marveled at how Tristan was able to function on a daily basis growing up in such an abusive atmosphere.
She had grown to love Tristan even more during those meetings, and to Tristan’s surprise, Claire gained a new respect for her. Each time they met with the doctor, it confirmed Claire’s decision to stand by Tristan.
They had good days and bad, but with each problem they encountered, the couple grew stronger as a result. In time, the scars that both women bore would heal, cementing their relationship forever.
The End
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204
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Born in 1965, Robin Alexander grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she still resides. An avid reader of lesbian fiction, Robin decided to take the leap and try her hand at writing, which is now more than her favorite hobby. Other favorites are camping, snorkeling, and anything to do with the outdoors or the water. Robin approaches everything with a sense of humor, which is evident in her style of writing. To learn more about Robin and read some of her short stories, visit http://www.robinfic.com.
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