‘He slept then?’
‘He dozed, but he was very restless. Then he got up and came to help me till it was time for dinner. He ate a bit, although not much, then he went to bed.’ She stifled a sob. ‘That’s the last I saw of him.’
Edild now crouched down so that her eyes were level with Zarina’s. ‘A young woman is dead,’ she said gently. ‘Her name was Ida, and she was a seamstress working for a relation of Lord Gilbert’s, who is staying with him up at the hall. It’s said that Derman took a fancy to Ida, that he used to lie in wait for her and left her little offerings. He-’
‘Yes, I know,’ Zarina said calmly. ‘Well, I knew there was someone, although I didn’t know who. I’ve talked it over with Haward and his mother. They’re both very worried too.’
Edild’s eyes bored into mine. I could hear her voice in my head: something else you didn’t see fit to tell me! I was going to have quite a lot of explaining to do. Then, turning back to Zarina, she said, ‘Where do you think he has gone? Is there any place you know of where he goes if he’s upset?’
Zarina shook her head. ‘It’s very unlike him to venture far away from me,’ she said. ‘It’s how I guessed about this girl he fancied — because he started disappearing. I followed him one day and spotted her, and when I challenged him he admitted it.’ She shook her head again, more slowly. ‘All I can think of is that he’s gone to the places he used to see her. Maybe he doesn’t understand she’s dead and is trying to find her. I was going to go and look, soon as this lot’s done.’ She indicated a basket of dirty laundry awaiting her attention.
Edild rose to her feet. ‘We will go, Lassair and I,’ she announced.
Zarina looked up at her, gratitude flooding her face. ‘Will you? That’s most kind, and I’m very grateful.’ I made as if to rise, but she clutched my hand. ‘Wait!’ she hissed.
‘Edild, I’ll catch you up,’ I said to my aunt. She raised a questioning eyebrow but, bless her, did not object. I watched her walk away, then whispered, ‘What is it, Zarina?’
‘I’m very worried, Lassair!’ she whispered back.
Shocked, I said, ‘You really think he could have harmed Ida?’
‘No, no, I know he couldn’t have done any such thing!’ Her protest was heartfelt, but then she was his sister and had apparently spent her life looking after him.
‘What is it that worries you, then?’
She sat quietly for a moment, staring into the distance. Then she said, ‘You know Haward wants to marry me?’
‘Yes, and I’m very glad,’ I replied.
She smiled. ‘Thank you. But it’s not as simple as him asking and me saying yes. There’s Derman.’
Yes. There was Derman. ‘What does he think about the marriage?’
‘He’s not-’ She stopped herself. I don’t know why, but I had the distinct impression she had just bitten back something very important. Then instead she said, ‘Lassair, because of Derman I can’t marry Haward.’
Whatever she had been about to say, it couldn’t have been worse that what she did say. Horrified, I protested, ‘But he loves you! He really does, Zarina, and you’re the only woman who’s ever really loved him back! You-’
She put up her hand and gently laid it across my lips. ‘I know, Lassair. I love him too, with all my heart. But Derman’s-’ Again she broke off. After a moment she resumed. ‘Derman is my responsibility. He is as he is, and it’s hard living with him. I ought to know,’ she added bitterly, instantly adding, ‘It’s not his fault, and he’s not bad, not really. There’s no evil in him, that I’ll swear.’
‘Then why-’
‘I cannot inflict Derman on anybody else,’ Zarina said simply. ‘Haward says it doesn’t matter, that his — your — family will accept him, but I can’t see how it’d work. Your parents live in that lovely little house that your mother keeps so neat and tidy, and that’s where Haward will take his wife, at least till he can build a home of his own. Can you see Derman there, Lassair?’
‘Yes I can!’ I said stoutly.
Zarina laughed. ‘That’s because you don’t live there yourself,’ she said kindly and, I have to admit, accurately. ‘The day Derman and I moved in would be the ruin of your mother and the family,’ she went on, her voice serious now. ‘I really like your mother, and I won’t do that to her. Besides, it’s impossible anyway, as I said, because — well, it’s not going to happen.’
I sat there holding her hand, listening to the echoes of her voice. Then I leaned over, kissed her and got up. As I went out, I turned and said, ‘We’ll see.’
Then I hurried off after Edild.
We searched for a long time. We covered the ground all the way from Lakehall to the lonely island where Granny lay in her grave. We criss-crossed here and there, venturing off the tracks and the paths, following the winding waterways and creeping right up to the water’s edge to stare down into the black mere. We found no sign of Derman. If he was really out there, looking in vain for his dead love, then he had hidden himself so well that we could not find him.
The long day was at last starting to come to a close when finally we gave up and turned for home. We walked without speaking. I had apologized to my aunt for not having told her I’d come across Derman the previous morning as I raced for help after making my discovery, and for omitting to repeat the discussion concerning him that I’d had with my mother. She had forgiven me, graciously agreeing that so much had happened recently that it was not surprising I had been so uncharacteristically forgetful.
I was so tired that I could hardly put one foot in front of the other. I was stumbling along with my head down, concentrating so hard on the simple act of walking that I did not realize Hrype was there until he spoke. Looking up, I saw him standing on the track in front of us. Sibert and Haward were with him.
‘What are you doing out here?’ Edild asked. Her tone was courteous, no more; she has a way of disguising her feelings for Hrype so skilfully that sometimes even I, who know better, doubt that the two of them are any more than colleagues and friends.
‘Zarina told Haward that you and Lassair had gone to look for Derman,’ Hrype replied. ‘We came to find you.’
‘We have discovered no sign of him,’ Edild said. ‘We have searched the ground between the island and the hall, without success.’
‘We t-too have been searching, out on the other side of the village, and we didn’t find him either,’ Haward said. I met his eyes and tried to smile. He must have seen my exhaustion on my face, for straight away he hurried to my side and put his arm round my waist. ‘You should g-g-go home!’ he said to me. ‘You’re w-worn out.’
‘We must find him,’ I said dully.
‘We will search again in the morning,’ Hrype announced. ‘For now, it is too dark to pursue the hunt. Besides, you two should not be out here by yourselves.’ He looked at Edild, a worried frown on his face.
She was tired too, but not so tired that she did not stiffen at his words. ‘Why not?’ she asked, and I detected a warning chill in her tone.
‘Someone has just been murdered,’ he said gently, ‘not a mile from where we now stand. We have no idea why she was killed and no idea who killed her. It is not safe for you.’
‘But it is all right for you men to risk the danger of being attacked?’ Now Edild sounded plainly angry.
Hrype sighed. ‘Edild, there are three of us, and we are armed.’ He carried a long knife in a scabbard at his belt. Haward and Sibert held heavy clubs.
I glanced at Sibert. He raised his eyes to the darkening skies in a gesture of exasperation, and I very nearly laughed. He knows his uncle — his father — pretty well, although I don’t think he’s aware of the relationship between Hrype and my aunt.