“You okay today?” Frank asked.
“Fine,” I muttered through my bacon.
“Jake…”
“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”
“Okay, son.” After taking a thoughtful sip of his coffee, he drew in a ragged breath. “Just so you know, your mom called me this morning.”
I choked on my orange juice. After succumbing to a coughing fit, I questioned, “She did?”
Frank nodded. “She knows that Sally called you, and she wanted me to make sure I kept an eye out for you. She’s afraid you’ll be…destructive.”
The agonizing thought of my mom dying once again sliced through to my soul, and I fought to breathe. Nausea crashed over me, and I feared I was about to heave up my breakfast. I knew I had to talk to her again. So I tumbled out of my chair and sprinted out of the diner. When she answered the phone, I demanded, “Why?”
Mama sighed. “I thought it was for the best.”
“You thought not telling your only child that you’re dying is for the best? Do you know how sick and warped that is?”
“I didn’t want to upset you with just a few weeks left on your tour.”
A frustrated growl came from low in my throat. “For once, would you stop putting me and everyone else first? This is the time to be fucking selfish. I mean, you’re…” Closing my eyes, I still couldn’t bring myself to say the words again.
“Honey, there will be plenty of time for us to say our goodbyes when you get off the road.”
“Fuck that. I’m coming home now.”
“No, Jacob, you’re not.”
“Look, the guys are all in agreement. Hell, Rhys is even ready to use what little law school he had to go toe to toe with the execs if they give us any shit about it.”
“I’m still your mother, and I say no.”
A tormented sob choked off in my throat. I gripped the phone tight against my ear as I tried to hold my emotions and sanity in check. “But we don’t have that much time left together. How can you be so fucking cruel and deny me one moment with you?”
“Jacob, your language is absolutely atrocious!” she chided.
“Stop it! I don’t wanna hear about the wrong I’m doing, okay?”
“Look, these are hard times on everyone, sweetheart. There are a lot of people who work for you and they depend on you and so do their families.” When I started to protest, she sighed. “I’m a mess right now, honey—both emotionally and physically. I don’t want you seeing me like this. Before I knew for sure if it was terminal, I started treatment again just in case. It’s wrecked me. So give me a few weeks, okay?” At her sniffling, I broke down myself. “Sweetheart, I want more than anything to have a month or two just to be your mother and take care of you before you have to take care of me.”
Tears streamed down my cheeks when I thought about everything she was going through just to have time to be a mom to me. “Why do you have to be like this?”
She chuckled. “Jacob, it’s that stubbornness that we both share, remember?”
“I love you…God, do I love you,” I blubbered.
“I know, baby. As high as the sky, remember?”
I was crying so hard I couldn’t respond. Even though she couldn’t see me, I bobbed my head in acknowledgement of the phrase she had taught me as a child.
You know how much I love you, Jacob?
As high as the sky, Mama!
That’s right, sweet boy.
“Jacob,” my mother began in the soft, soothing voice she’d used since I was a child. “I know it’s hard, but try to put all this behind you. Focus on your music. Find escape in it, and for the next three weeks, give your audiences the best shows you possibly can. And each night you do, rest assured that you’re making me proud for your strength and courage.”
With the backs of my hands, I tried wiping off the tear-stained, snot-filled mess my face had become. “Okay, I’ll try.”
“That’s my boy. I’ll call you each and every day.”
“You better.”
“I will. I love you, honey.”
“I love you too.”
And with that she was gone. Doubling over, I rested my palms on my knees. My body heaved and shook as I tried to get myself together.
“Jake?”
Pinching my eyes shut, I willed her to go away. I couldn’t deal with her period, especially not like this. “Not now,” I muttered.
She snaked her arms around my waist. “Baby, what’s wrong?” Bree crooned into my ear.
“Shit that you wouldn’t possibly understand. Besides, I just told you I don’t wanna fucking talk about it, okay?”
Slinking around me, Bree tucked her finger under my chin and forced me to look at her. “Oh Jake, you look like hell.”
“Thanks,” I grunted.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t make it yesterday. Trust me, if you’re going to get like this when I go away, I’ll just quit my job,” she teased.
“You barely work as it is. It’s a wonder you don’t get fired as much as you call in.”
She laughed. “That’s the perk of working for your granddaddy’s towing service. It’s hard to fire family.”
“Whatever.”
“Besides, he likes being able to tell everyone that I’m cutting off work to go hang-out with Jake Slater of Runaway Train.”
I fought the urge to say that her grandfather was pretty sketchy to enjoy the fact she was a glorified groupie, joining up with me at different tour stops.
Bree’s tongue flicked across my earlobe, causing me to shiver. “I could work on you full-time. Cause trust me baby, it’s a buzzkill having a real job that keeps me away from you and that fantastic cock of yours,” she drawled. The lust in her voice caused my traitorous dick to twitch.
“Is that right?”
“Mmm, hmm.” A cat-like smile curved on her lips. “You miss me?”
The truth was I hadn’t. Sure, I missed the sex, but there would never, ever be anything stronger between me and Bree. But I desperately needed an emotional escape right now, and the only thing I could think of was screwing my problems out of my mind. “Yeah, I did.”
“Hmm, wanna show me how much when we get back on the bus?”
“Yeah, but first I need to get fucked up.”
She chuckled. “It’s barely ten o’clock, Jake.”
“I don’t give a shit. Go tell your dad I want his flask—the one with the good stuff in it.”
“Okaaay, if you say so.” She ran her hands up my chest. “Just don’t get too wasted where you can’t make me scream at least three times.”
I forced a smile to my lips. “Now why would I want to do that?”
***
I could only push around the food on my plate after Jake refused to sit at my table. I tried reasoning that it wasn’t really a slight against me. Maybe he needed some space after AJ’s dig about our writing session or maybe he wanted time with the roadies and crew. He’d obviously already opened up to me far more than with anyone else, so I guess he needed time to process it all. I had to remember that I would be a total bitch if I laid too much fault with him considering he was going through hell right now with his mother’s illness.
We’d barely known each other twenty-four hours, so he didn’t owe me anything. But deep down, his behavior pierced through my heart to sting my soul. If I allowed myself, I could really feel something for him—something more than sympathy or compassion. I could even maybe grow to…like him.
When I saw Jake fly out of his chair and storm out of the diner, it took everything within me not to go after him. Instead, I tried focusing on Brayden’s stories about his children or how Rhys’s parents had almost disowned him after he gave up his Ivy-League background to pursue life with the band. AJ remained conspicuously silent, and from time to time, I would cut my eyes to catch him staring at me.