And more determined than ever to stay clear of Finn.
Sympathy over what had happened was normal, of course. But she was in downright danger of becoming sloppy over it. And long ago she’d made the choice not to be sloppy over any man.
Inching along behind the lookie-loos ogling Walnut Street’s Christmas excess, Bailey knew that the permanent solution to avoiding the man living next door meant forcing another confrontation with her mother. This time, she told herself, she’d talk until her mother truly comprehended the predicament she and The Perfect Christmas were in.
Bailey was a sensible, rational person. Tracy was an logical, reasonable woman. Surely some straight talk between the two of them would rouse her mother from her stupor or depression or whatever it was and get her behind back into the store.
And Bailey back to her Los Angeles life.
Ten minutes later, she let herself into the house. “Mom?”
“In here,” came from the kitchen.
Squaring her shoulders, Bailey strode into the room. Surrounded by a plethora of vegetables, Tracy was tearing lettuce into tiny shreds and dropping them into a wooden salad bowl. In the last couple of days she’d abandoned the comfort of pasta foods and was going strictly rabbit. Just that was enough to depress anybody.
With a casual movement, Bailey set onto the counter the eleven-inch Christmas tree she’d brought home from the shop. The tiny pine needles looked real enough and it was decorated with firefly-sized lights as well as pine cones and glass ornaments no bigger than M &M’s. She plugged it in without comment, though hoped it would remind her mother of what was waiting for her just a few blocks away.
“How was your day?” her mother asked without looking up, on obvious maternal autopilot. She appeared rumpled and drowsy, as if she’d slept the day away wearing yet another pair of ragged sweats.
Bailey glanced at the little tree, then took a breath, preparing herself to hit the situation head-on. “It was your day, Mom, remember? I’m away from my life to run your store.”
“It’s the family store,” Tracy replied, matter-of-fact.
Dead end there, Bailey thought. She tried another tack. “Okay, but Dan-”
“You saw him?” her mother interrupted, chin jerking up. “What did he want?” Color suddenly flagged her pale cheeks, and she seemed to find a surge of energy as she grabbed a carrot and began attacking it with a grater.
Bailey watched the violent process with dawning alarm. “No, I haven’t seen him. Not yet. But Mom, face it. You can’t hide here any longer taking your emotions out on defenseless vegetables. You need to talk to Dan.”
The carrot was quickly decimated to the size of a mini gherkin as her mother’s color faded and her mouth set in a stubborn line. “I don’t see why.” She picked up another innocent root and took it down to midget proportions too.
Bailey cooled her impatience. “Then at least you have to come back to the store.”
“No,” Tracy said.
“Mom-”
“I’m not going to talk with him and I’m not going to the store. Not if he’s going to be there.”
Frustrated, Bailey pinched the bridge of her nose. “That’s the problem, Mom. He’s not there. You’re not there.”
“But you don’t know that. He could walk in any time and then I’d have to see him and I might have to talk to him.”
Bailey stared at her mother. Where was reason? Where was logic? She tried to keep her voice level. “The only one of the family there is me, and I made a three-year-old cry today because I said she was wrong and that there were only six reindeer not eight!”
That got Tracy’s full attention again. She looked up, her brow furrowed. “Why would you say such a thing?”
“Because I couldn’t remember all the names, okay? I had Dasher and Blitzen, Prancer and Donder, but then I blanked out and called one Disco and another Asteroid. I decided I better quit while I was ahead.” The little girl’s mother had whisked the tot out of the store, leaving her basket full of Christmas cheer behind-and unpaid for.
“Dasher, Dancer, Donder, Blitzen, Comet, Cupid, Prancer, Vixen. And then Rudolph, of course, for those nonpurists.”
Bailey rolled her eyes. “See what I mean? You’ve got to come back.”
“We’ve already gone over that.”
“Then let’s go over it again, and start at the beginning. Please.” Bailey rescued the last carrot from her mother’s brutal clutches, biting into it herself.
“It started right after we dropped Harry off at college.”
Yesterday Bailey had called her brother and grilled him about the situation, but Harry was as mystified as she. Reluctant to put a damper on his first months away at college, big sister had promised him she would handle it-but that meant either getting to the bottom of the problem or getting through to her mother. “All right. You two dropped Harry off at college. Then a couple weeks later Dan left because…?”
Tracy cleaved a cabbage in two. “Because I didn’t notice his hair and his teeth.”
Bailey had to cough up a chunk of carrot. “What?”
Her mother’s knuckles went white on the knife. “He used something to get rid of the gray at his temples. He bleached his teeth!”
Okay. “That’s not a capital offense.”
“The capital offense was I didn’t notice, according to him. He came home one day and stomped into Harry’s room. I was sitting in there, just…just thinking…and he demanded that I look at him.”
“And you didn’t realize he’d gone George Hamilton on you?”
Tracy’s knife clattered to the cutting board. “I’d been busy. I’d been preoccupied. So I didn’t recognize the changes, okay? But Dan didn’t give me a second chance. He packed up his things and left the house, right then and there.”
Dan was an easygoing man. He’d married Tracy three years after her divorce and didn’t seem the least bit ego-diminished by leaving his job at a big-time brokerage house to run his wife’s family’s store alongside her. Though Bailey had always kept a wall between herself and her stepfather, she knew that had been her choice, not his. Dan had never resented having a stepdaughter and he’d appeared to love the life he’d made with her mother and their son, Harry.
None of this was making sense.
“Is it…” Bailey cleared her throat. “Is it another woman?”
Tracy stared at the cutting board, unblinking. “I didn’t see a gold chain around his neck, if that’s what you mean.”
A twinge of pain pierced Bailey’s right temple. Gold chain, another woman. Another woman, gold chain. Was this some sort of code she didn’t understand? A headache started blossoming, probably because the half of her brain that dealt with logic and reason was contorting like a pretzel trying to make sense of the irrational that had now become her family life.
Her calf itched and she flashed on that night she’d watched her mother sobbing in the dry bathtub. How could Tracy do this again? After Bailey’s father’s defection, why had Tracy let another man get close enough to mess with her heart? Bailey could remember endless weeks of her mother crying in the middle of the night-had Tracy completely blocked that from her mind?
There were non-risky ways to negotiate the world, maybe even to have a man in your life, but none of them involved leaving the safe side of the emotion superhighway. It was up to Bailey to yank her mother back to the sidewalk.
“Look, Mom, think of the big picture. The store-”
“I can’t go there.” Tracy retrieved the knife and started killing the cabbage.
“Mom-”
“If Dan’s going to go to the trouble of looking gorgeous, then I won’t chance seeing him!” She reached over to whack an innocent green onion for good measure. “And that’s final.”