Alexandra ducked her head, the need to hide overwhelming her. This wasn’t the time or the place to have this conversation, not when her mother had been so good to her. “You always love coming up to the cabin around this weekend, and it would devastate you and Gran if I wasn’t here.”
“Is that what you think? Honey, I did that for you and your sister. You were two scared little girls when he died, and you seemed to enjoy coming to the vacation home. I never thought about what it’d do to you.”
Alexandra nodded, too overcome to speak. “You were amazing. A mother and a father when you needed to be.”
“You had the memory of your father, and I tried to make sure you girls were happy and healthy. I started this weekend getaway with your grandparents when the first anniversary rolled around and all you girls did was sit around and cry. We decided to get out of town, and I loved going to the cabin before all the mess with Trina, so I gave it a try.”
“I did love it. I mean, I do, but recently, I’ve just wanted to spend the weekend doing something else. I feel like in coming back here, we’re remembering his death, as opposed to how he lived. I tried to live my life in a way that would make him proud, and that’s how I remember him. I love the cabin, but I don’t need to recreate the weekend every year.”
“Baby girl.” Her mother held out her arms for Alexandra to dive in. She breathed deep, surrounding herself in the light floral scent her mother always wore. Alexandra choked up a little, remembering her sitting with her doing the same when she couldn’t sleep in the months following her father’s death. “You have made me so proud. All we wanted was for you and your sister to be happy. Can you say you’re happy working all those hours, not having a life, and being without Roman?”
“Roman is not my fault. He broke up with me after Henry threatened my job because Roman felt he wasn’t good for me. I told him weeks ago he was going to impact my job, and when it eventually happened, he walked.”
“Did he say why? Because the other day, he looked like he was ready to throw you on the table and have his way with you.”
“Mom!” She was not talking about sex with her mother.
“I’m not so old I don’t remember what it’s like to have a guy who watches you as though you’re his everything. I had that once.”
Alexandra put her face in her hands, blushing. “I do not want to hear about you and Dad. You’re going to give me a complex.”
“Pssh.” Her mother waved her off. “How do you think you guys got here?”
“Moving on…” Alexandra continued. “Roman told me he was protecting me since being attached with him had the opportunity to destroy my career because of all the negative press.”
“Could it?”
“At the time, yes. You know how they are at the firm. But then I felt like I was in the middle of a dream the other day, because Henry apologized and told me he had no right to interfere in my life.”
Her mother’s mouth fell open at her last statement. “You’re telling me Henry the Hater apologized? To you?”
Alexandra nodded. “I was surprised as hell.”
“What does he want?” she asked. Her mother wasn’t being unreasonable, since Henry had a reputation of being ruthless. Any act of kindness he showed was scrutinized, since it was as rare as a Halley’s Comet.
“I don’t know.” Alexandra kept her suspicions about the cases to herself for professional reasons. Plus, she only had an inkling they were connected with nothing to prove her suspicions.
“Well, we don’t have time to worry about why that temperamental man decided to grow a heart and be nice to you. I’m more worried about Roman. Have you tried to talk to him?”
“He followed me after court the other day, before Henry did his one-eighty, but he didn’t tell me anything substantial. He’s the one who really pushed me into a relationship when I was reluctant. Don’t get me wrong, once I was in I was all in, but it took me a while to get there. He had to sweet talk me to get me to see his side of things, and then he bailed. I was sticking around for once, and he’s the one to leave me.”
“Has he tried to contact you after you told him to leave you alone?” Alexandra turned away, because her mother was going to tell her she was an idiot. She felt the hand on her chin, turning Alexandra back so she had to look her in the eye. “Did he try to contact you since then?”
“Maybe,” she conceded as her mother’s signature right eyebrow rose. “But if he’s not willing to stick by me when I need him, I’m through.”
“Even if he felt he was causing the problem?”
“I don’t know.” Alexandra never considered the situation from his perspective, but she wouldn’t want to be the cause of any harm to Roman. She cared for him too much to see him get in trouble for her, and she’d walk away, too, if she felt it was best. Damn it, she hated being wrong. “Probably.” She hung her head, staring at the carpet as though the foot she was rubbing against it was the most interesting thing in the world.
“That’s what I figured. You, my beautiful girl, have always kept people at arm’s length since your father’s death. I thought you’d grow out of it, but you’re still doing it twenty years later.” Her mother put her arm around her shoulder, pulling Alexandra close.
“People die, honey, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Instead of holding yourself away from people, you should pull those you love close, since you never know when the goodbye you say is the last. Dad wouldn’t want you mourning his life; he’d want you to celebrate that he lived and loved you and Parker period, no holds barred. You need to give the guy a chance to explain himself because sometimes, guys can be clueless. You don’t want or need his protection; you want his support. But you get nothing if you don’t give him a chance to explain himself.” She kissed the top of her head, then stood to leave.
“You’re right about this place.” Her mother looked around. “We don’t have to come back here anymore. Pick somewhere exotic, and we’ll all go away so we can make new memories on one of our hardest weekends of the year.”
“Okay.” Alexandra nodded, still not disclosing the house wouldn’t be there much longer.
“My work here is done. You have a half hour.” She looked Alexandra up and down, taking in the plain tank top and pajama bottoms she still wore.
“A half hour for what?”
“To get ready. Take a shower, do your hair, and put on some makeup and decent clothing. Just because we’re in the woods doesn’t mean we need to start looking like we live in the bush.”
***
The house was silent when Alexandra came down forty minutes later.
“Hello!” She walked from room to room looking for someone, but no one was around and the boat keys were missing from the holder. “Why was I supposed to be down here if they just left me?” She grabbed her phone and a beer, walking out on the deck to call her mother. It was gorgeous with the lake backing up to the deck where they docked their boats. She sat on the deck chair, taking a long pull of her beer, when the phone in her hand began to ring.
Roman. She sighed deeply seeing his smiling face on her phone. She’d ignored him for over a week, still wasn’t ready to put her heart on the line again, but her mother had a point. She needed to hear him out.
“Hey,” she answered.
“Alexandra.” He let out a long exhale.
“Were you expecting someone else to answer my phone?” She smiled though he couldn’t see her, taking another drink of the beer.
“No. No, of course not, but you haven’t been answering. I just assumed I’d get your voicemail again.”
She stared at the setting sun, figuring it would be the perfect setting for a romantic dinner. “Yeah, I was mad at you. Still am, if I’m being honest.”
“I was an asshole. I did the one thing I told you I wouldn’t do, leave during the absolute worst week ever. Alexandra, I’m sorry about leaving you alone when you were dealing with your father and the possibility of losing your job—”