Elizabeth hesitated. She envied her sister, for Kathryn was quick and intelligent and witty—and not afraid of her own shadow as she was.
Kathryn's face softened when she saw her sister's confusion. "You still do not understand, do you?"
Elizabeth shook her head miserably.
"Uncle is driven by greed," Kathryn explained quietly. "He gave away our dower lands for one reason only—he seeks to keep us here with him forever. He fears a husband might challenge his claim on our father's lands."
Kathryn thought of Roderick, chief retainer of her uncle's knights. Many times in the last four years had Kathryn wished that she had been born a man so that she could challenge her uncle sword- to-sword for what was hers by right of birth. But being a woman, she must fight with what weapons were at hand.
And this was one time her womanhood might be a blessing and not a curse. Kathryn knew nothing of women's coquetry, but she was learning. She hadn't mistaken the flare of desire in Roderick's eyes. Only this morning he had declared his love for her. With a touch, a word, she hoped to be able to sway him to the bent of her mind. She had prayed long and hard for freedom from her uncle's tyranny and God had led her to this crossroads. She despised the method and the means, but fate left her no other choice.
"There are still those knights who are loyal to us here, despite Uncle's attempts to roust them and replace them with his own." Her voice rang with quiet determination. "I am counting on that loyalty as well as Roderick's position and leadership to help us assume our rightful place here. Roderick has knights of his own loyal to him. With Richard gone and Roderick as my husband and protector, Ashbury will be ours once more."
Elizabeth's eyes grew wide and fearful. "Rebellion? You would dare a revolt against Uncle in his own keep?"
For just an instant Kathryn's eyes flared. Then she glanced quickly around the chamber. "Keep your voice down," she cautioned. " 'Tis the only way. Richard is a harsh and brutal lord. There are many who would gladly see him replaced."
Elizabeth said nothing. After a moment, Kathryn shook her head sadly. “'Tis not the way I would have it happen. And it may take time, but I see no other way."
"I—I think I understand." Elizabeth drew a long, shaky breath. "But must you marry Roderick in order to carry out this plan?"
"It is the only way," Kathryn replied calmly.
"But he stares at you so, when he thinks no one is looking. Methinks he is nearly as greedy as Uncle." Elizabeth shivered, thinking of the tawny- haired Roderick. He was tall and broad-shouldered, broader even than her uncle. And while he was handsome and not ill-mannered as some of the other knights, there was something about him...
"I do not like him, Kathryn." Elizabeth shuddered. "How can you even think of marrying him?"
"You like no man," her sister pointed out. And Elizabeth feared every man, though she was better at hiding it than she'd once been.
Elizabeth regarded her sister. No two sisters could possibly be more different, either in looks or demeanor. Kathryn was as dark as Elizabeth was fair; Kathryn was firm and unwavering, afraid of nothing, while she cowered here in her bower. Yet never had Elizabeth wished she were more like Kathryn than at this moment!
She wrung her hands. "If only I were more like you. If only I were as brave and strong as you! I am capable of nothing but hiding in this chamber like a child who fears the dark!"
Kathryn felt a wrenching pain in her chest. Her sister had witnessed their mother's violent rape and murder; it had gouged a wound which had never healed. Uncle called Elizabeth's fear of men unreasonable. But Kathryn understood. Countless nights she had held Elizabeth's shuddering body, her mind tortured by dreams in which she lived through that horrible day once again. For Elizabeth, the nightmare had never truly ended.
Warm fingers pressed against Elizabeth's trembling lips. "Hush," Kathryn said softly. 'You are good and kind and sweet. I would have my sister no other way." They embraced tightly, but Elizabeth's delicate features were still etched with worry when she drew back.
"1 still do not like the thought of you marrying Roderick," she said quietly. "Besides, what makes you think Uncle will permit it? He wishes to keep us under his thumb."
"He believes he controls Roderick," Kathryn reminded her. "Through Roderick, 'tis my hope Uncle will feel he has twice the power over me. But if he balks at granting consent, I plan to tell him I am with child."
Elizabeth gasped. "With child!" Her gaze slid down her sister's slender form.
"I am not. I am as untouched as you." Kathryn laughed. Elizabeth was as shocked as she had expected. They both knew what went on between men and women, especially Elizabeth. As for Kathryn, some of her uncle's knights were crude and lewd. They spared no thought for her tender ears. Kathryn had no doubt that such an act was vile and disgusting. It was but one more way men sought to subjugate women and the thought hardened her heart.
The words she spoke were bitter. "Richard has Ashbury. He has usurped other lands as well." Her soft lips curled with disdain. "And he thinks he has gained honor to his name. But for once, that is well and good. The shame of his niece giving birth to a bastard is one he dare not take. He desires no further stain on his name."
Elizabeth folded her hands in her lap. "And so you think he will grant consent to your marriage to Roderick?"
"Aye."
Her sister regarded her somberly. "I fear men," she said softly, "while you scorn them. You swore that if we were ever free of Uncle, no man would conquer you. No man would claim you. Yet you would give yourself to Roderick." She shook her head. "This is not the time to be reckless and headstrong."
Kathryn lowered her eyes. Elizabeth had little interest in the outside world, but at times she showed unusual wisdom. Her sister's words pricked her deeply. Kathryn swallowed and went on bravely.
"I have prayed for deliverance, Elizabeth, and this is the course set out for me. Were I a man, I would challenge Uncle in battle for what is rightfully ours. Alas, I have the courage but not the strength. And no matter what the outcome, I will have the satisfaction of knowing the choice was mine. To Roderick, I am not just a mere vessel; I am an equal. It is the only way, Elizabeth, the only way. Marriage seems a small price to pay."
Elizabeth's gaze was troubled. "And when Uncle discovers you are not with child after all?"
"The deed will already be done. I will be wed to Roderick."
Elizabeth watched her sister depart from the bower, her narrow shoulders stiff with pride. Kathryn possessed the same proud and stubborn spirit as their father. Indeed, he had fought to the death rather than surrender Ashbury to a band of raiders. She flinched at the memory. He'd been badly wounded during the fray, yet still he claimed victory. Two weeks later he'd died from infection.
Elizabeth loved Ashbury as much as Kathryn and their father did; she hated her uncle's presence here. Within these lofty stone walls, she felt secure. But it was love of Ashbury which had robbed her of the lives of both parents, and the knowledge pierced her chest like a knife blade.
Her hand fluttered to her breast. Dread filled her mind and heart, spreading like slow poison. "Kathryn, I fear you are too much like Father," she whispered aloud. "You may well succeed and claim Ashbury as your own. But at what cost to yourself?"
Early that evening Kathryn slipped outside the castle walls. A misty drizzle fell from the sky, but she paid no heed. She merely gathered her thin woolen cloak more tightly about her and draped the concealing hood over the braided coronet atop her head.