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When he turned to walk to his desk, Elizabeth’s gaze followed the swaying of the leather kilt, and the sight of his hairy legs. She gulped for air and followed him immediately. All thought of demanding a transfer seemed to have drained out of her head.

Darcy opened the cabinet behind him and took out a bottle of red wine. He poured one glass for Elizabeth and one for himself.

“Drink up!” he commanded.

Elizabeth held his gaze and drank it.

He gulped down his wine and scowled at her. “Too slow.” He poured another glass for each of them.

She did as she was told and swallowed the second glass more quickly. Not a word was spoken between them; the only communication was their hot stares, as four bottles were consumed.

“See? I told you Bennet was good.” Bingley laughed. “I will leave you two.” He bounced out of the room and closed the door.

“You are …not bad,” Darcy said as he stood up unsteadily to clap Elizabeth on the shoulder. The move overbalanced them both, and they ended up crashing down onto the floor, with her pinned under him. Both immediately fell into a drunken sleep.

In the morning, Darcy began by testing her skill at throwing darts. From there, the tests went on for several days. But Darcy woke up each morning with the strange feeling that he had been caressed and fondled in his dreams. He also seemed to remember breathing in the most alluring lavender scent during the whole night. Every morning, he found his body throbbing with…needs. But Bennet was a man, so Darcy was puzzled to realize that he had repeatedly experienced dreams of being with a woman.

He decided to get to the bottom of the matter; today he would not conduct the test himself. He asked Bingley to drink, toast for toast, with Bennet, and he observed them both while standing aside. He could see that the young soldier seemed very nervous, his gaze darting to Darcy from time to time.

Bennet was drunk by the sixth bottle. Darcy shooed Bingley out of his office, picked Bennet up and walked through the door to his sleeping quarters. When he placed him on the bed, Bennet suddenly spoke in a woman voice.

“Arrogant pig, I hate you,” the sleepy soldier murmured. “But you have the most virile body. Your chest hair tastes delicious, and I love to twirl my finger around your cute navel…”

Darcy’s eyes widened. A woman in disguise? So that was what had been happening every morning before he awoke. He could not believe that the recruitment officers had failed to discover her true identity before sending her to his office.

Telling himself that it was his duty to verify the truth, he unbuttoned Bennet’s uniform jacket.

Ah, such creamy alabaster skin! But her bosom was bound flat. What a pity!

His arousal came on, full force. He was tempted to strip her bare and bury himself deep inside her. But General Darcy did not force himself on any woman, particularly not on one who was largely unconscious. Nevertheless, he could not bring himself to simply walk away.

Rising, he locked the door, then stripped off his clothes and stretched out beside her.

The sun shone inside the bedchamber, and Elizabeth woke to the musky smell of the General. She smiled, remembering her daring actions the past few mornings, when Darcy had yet to awaken. She had kissed nearly every inch of his body, except those forbidden parts hidden beneath his leather kilt. After all, she was a maiden. The man did not have a clue about her fondling him…

She blinked her eyes, remembering the heavy drinking of the previous night. And when she tried to raise her body, she noticed that she was pinned down by a strong body.

She opened her eyes more widely, and saw General Darcy’s bright smile. His angular body was heavy on top of her. She drew in a deep breath, and was alarmed to realize that she was nude, as was he.

“What are you doing?” she said. She could not help but start to pant.

“I am doing whatever you have done to me, the past few mornings, before I woke up.” He lowered his head to nip her earlobe. His wet tongue traced the inside of her ear, and then the back of it, sending shivers down her body.

She wrapped her hands around his back and ran her fingers along his spine. He trembled in sharp reaction and bit her neck, while his hands kneaded her gorgeous breasts with a force that had built within him as he had eyed the alluring twin peaks over the past half hour.

When he plucked her nipples hard, she moaned loudly against his ear. He found that he loved her uncontrollable sexy voice. Lowering himself, he suckled the creamy mounds, using his tongue to flick and tease the sensitive nipples. Such a sweet taste!

She tore at his hair. Her body felt as if it were on fire, and her blood was rioting as it flowed down to her apex. When he wanted to move lower to worship her sex, she was eager for him. She parted her legs more widely and rubbed her legs against his hard shaft with frantic enthusiasm.

He let out a groan and gave in, pulling one of her knees to his waist. When he positioned himself and thrust into her decisively, she was tight. Very tight. He had never felt such intense pleasure before, from the friction and heat of her wet core.

Pushing deeper and deeper, he broke through her virginal barrier and joined with her, as one body. She gasped from the sharp pain, but soon her aroused breathing urged him on. When she wrapped both her legs around his waist, he started the maddening dance, drawing in and out. He savoured her sweet scent, her smooth, tight muscles and her rhythmic cries. As he thrust and pounded, his head was spinning with pleasure, and they both reached ecstasy at the same moment.

When they had caught their breath, he apologised for his initial remark. In turn, she told him her story, explaining the desire to save her elderly father that had prompted her to volunteer in his place.

Darcy laughed out loud when he heard about the rumours of the war.

“But, my love, the River Thames was pink because my bloody cousin, Richard The Blue Wizard, who is warring against me, overturned a ship which contained his pink virility potion.”

“And the remains of the red coats in Hoyden Park?” Elizabeth asked.

“Richard hated me for besting him over a game of darts and in drinking. In a fit of pique, he tore up any uniforms of our army that he could find, and then directed his man to trample on them in Hoyden Park.”

“But where have all the men in the kingdom gone?” she asked, not understanding.

“All are here in Londonland, drinking and learning how to throw darts. They compete with Blue Witch’s men every day and night. I only play him once a year. So far, I’ve won for the past two years.”

“Men and their vices!” Elizabeth exclaimed.

“Well, the darts and the drinking war will come to an end soon. Richard the Blue Wizard and I have agreed on a best-of-three-over-five-games rule. I only need to win over him this year and then all of the men can return to their homes. You have such a pair of fine eyes, I am sure you can teach my men better dartthrowing skills. And you can certainly drink most men under the table. I am confident that we can win over the Blue.”

True to his words, General Darcy and Colonel Bennet triumphed over the Blue Wizard, in the end. All of the men were discharged and sent back to their homes. When Elizabeth returned home to her family, she arrived with her husband General Darcy and her baby boy. They stayed for a few days and then went back to Pemberley, Darcy’s estate, where they lived happily ever after.

Lydia blamed her mother for forbidding her to go into the army. She was jealous of her sister’s good fortune, as Lydia now preferred a bare chest and leather kilt to a red coat.

Prayer To Isis

What if action of Pride and Prejudice had played out not in England but in Egypt?