What seemed to him a long while later—though it could have been seconds—the door opened. Seona’s tear-filled, dark blue eyes tore at his soul and stirred his protective instincts. He pushed his way inside the door and closed it back.
“Nay,” she whispered, backing away. “You cannot come in here.” Though her words were quiet, they were intense, her eyes wide but reddened from crying. “What if Aunt Patience should see you?”
“Seona, why are you suddenly so distraught? Tell me why you said what you did.” He couldn’t even bring himself to say the words, for he couldn’t imagine never seeing her again. Never touching her. Never kissing her. Nay. Such thoughts were like dagger stabs to his heart.
“I told you,” she said. “My father is a cruel and brutal man. If he finds out we have talked and kissed and… other things, I fear he will kill you.” She closed her eyes and tears ran down her cheeks.
At the moment, he didn’t care if his life was in danger. All he wanted was to see Seona, to touch her, to hold her.
“He is not here,” Keegan said.
“Nay, but his sister is. Aunt Patience will tell him everything. She was spying on us. She saw you give me the bluebells.”
This was all caused by the bluebells? Saints! Lady Patience was a she-devil.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “What matters is—”
“Nay. I cannot see you or talk to you,” Seona insisted. “You have to leave.”
Keegan’s chest ached and his possessive urges rose to the surface. Nobody was taking Seona away from him. To do so was the same as ripping out his heart. He couldn’t live without his heart… nor without Seona.
If she was the one rejecting him, that was something altogether different. But he didn’t think that was the case. She was crying because she cared about him.
Seona backed away. “Go, Keegan,” she whispered.
But he didn’t. He watched her retreat. This spurred his instincts to pursue her, to capture her, to make her see he would never abandon her.
He took a step closer. “I fear no man, not even your father.”
“Well, you should.” She retreated behind a chair.
“Why are you so afraid of him?” Keegan’s own father was a loving, jovial man. Of a certainty, Conall MacKay could be vicious in battle, but with his family, he was warm. However, Keegan knew all fathers were not like him. Evidently, Seona’s father was just the opposite.
“He could have his men kill you, Keegan. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
His muscles tensed at the potential threat and the challenge. “Not without a fight. And I wager I’d take a few of them out before they did me in.” He stepped forward again.
“Keegan, please.” She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head.
“The MacKay guards always watch my back.” He hoped that would ease her mind… though he was well-trained in protecting himself.
She looked down, appearing suddenly defeated, her unbound hair shielding most of her face. “I didn’t want to tell you this, but you leave me no choice.”
Warning prickled at the back of his neck. “What?”
“Last year at home, I danced with a man, the youngest brother of the MacSween chief. My father disapproved because he did not see him as suitable. Aunt Patience said there was a rumor started that MacSween kissed me and it grew out of proportion. MacSween was murdered a short time later, in Inverness. My father probably ordered it done. Do you understand what I mean now?”
“Aye, your father is ruthless, and he will not approve of me.” Keegan had already guessed her father would have a negative opinion of him, since he was not a chief or titled. Still, that would not dissuade him from asking for her hand. If her father attempted to kill Keegan for his boldness and his interest in Seona, then he’d best be ready for retaliation.
“When I go home, I want you to stay here,” Seona said.
“What? Are you mad?” Annoyance gored Keegan. “I would never do that. Do you take me for a coward?”
“Nay! I’m trying to protect you.”
“Well, I intend to protect you. And I can’t do that if I’m here and you’re traveling across the country with Haldane on your heels.” His words were low but firm. The last thing on earth he’d do was stay here, safe, while she faced danger. Though her idea irritated him, he understood why she’d suggested it. She worried about his safety because… mayhap she cared about him a great deal. He hoped.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, tears welling in her eyes again. “I should’ve never…”
“What?”
“I didn’t mean to lead you on… and lead you into danger. I should’ve never allowed you to… kiss me.”
“Saints, Seona.” Could she not see that he cared for her? ’Twas not as if he merely wanted beneath her skirts. She had stolen his heart.
She stared at the floor, her blush evident in the candlelight. “I ken I acted very… wantonly. That was wrong of me.”
He ground his teeth. Aye, he knew he shouldn’t have touched her in the most intimate of places but… he ached. Not only his groin, but his chest and his whole body ached for her. He sucked in a deep breath, trying to dispel his need but naught helped.
“I should not have teased and tempted you,” she said.
“You didn’t. I am the one to blame for leading you astray. You’re an innocent and I shouldn’t have touched you.” He forced himself to say the words, to be a gentleman. ’Twas true he shouldn’t have touched her, but he did not regret it. Nay, he wanted to touch her again, more than anything, but he would keep his hands to himself if that was what she wished.
She watched him, her blue eyes darkening in a most tempting manner. Was she thinking of how he’d touched her? He could think of little else, himself. Her skin was so soft and silken his fingers itched to trail over her again. When he tried to sleep at night, he had burning, erotic dreams about stroking, kissing and licking her… everywhere. Imagining being naked with her in bed made him yearn so intensely he could scarce breathe.
“I shouldn’t have… given you pleasure,” he said, remembering how she’d shattered in his arms. He loved how passionate she was.
Her skin turning bright pink, she licked her lips. How he craved another taste of them. He moved closer to her, thankful to see she didn’t move back.
“I was wrong to… slide my hand up your thigh beneath your skirts,” he whispered, feeling like the most debauched rogue, but unable to stop himself. Aye, he wanted to tempt her as much as she tempted him. He wanted her to remember the pleasure he’d given her.
Her breathing altered but her stare never wavered from his. She swallowed hard.
“I should not have touched you and felt how wet you were… how aroused,” he whispered in an intense tone. “Because now I cannot forget it. ’Tis all I can think about.”
Her eyelids were growing heavy and her gaze more heated by the moment.
“You have no inkling how you make me ache,” he went on. Indeed, at the moment he was so hard he was almost dizzy with arousal. “I want you, Seona. Always.” Knowing it was time for him to be completely honest with her, he drew in a deep breath. “I love you.”
“Keegan. Nay,” she breathed, shaking her head and squeezing her eyes shut. More glistening tears leaked out.
Though her reaction was like a punch to the gut, he shoved the chair out of his way and drew her into his arms. “Don’t cry, lass. I’d hoped… you might like to know how I feel.”
“Aye.” She looked up into his eyes. “I love you, too, but— ”
“That’s all that matters.” Bittersweet joy latched onto him. Aye, if she loved him, he would do anything to have her. He’d move heaven and earth to make her happy, to keep her safe, to keep her by his side always.
She shook her head. Grasping the plaid across his upper body, she buried her face against his chest and sobbed.
God, she ripped his heart out. He pressed his face against the thick softness of her unbound hair. He relished the sleek feel of it. Her hands tugging at his plaid made him want to rip the material from his body and revel in the warmth of her smooth skin against his. Her stomach pressed against his hard shaft. He forced himself not to respond, not to grind into her as his instincts urged.