– And I just need her. Is it rocket science? It’s not.
We both look at Chubby’s sleeping daughter.
– Joe, you had, what you had, you had a girlfriend? Right. Something happened. She was sick. OK. I’ve heard the stories. It’s like, Joe, your private life is like gossip central. This girl you had hidden all secret. And, bits and pieces, I hear, she was sick. And you tried to infect her. But she wasn’t Vyrus positive to start with. So when your Vyral cells went into her, they just killed what they found. Because there was no socket that fit them. She wasn’t like you. And before that, you were with her for, I mean, I hear it was years, and the thing is, knowing you and what all, we think, people say, you and her, you never hooked up. Really. All the way. Because you were afraid it would infect her. And you only tried at the end ‘cause she was dying. I mean.
She lifts her eyebrows.
– Half it’s just impossibly romantic, and half it’s just impossibly lame.
I’m thinking about what Predo said about how I’m spontaneous with bullets. I’m thinking he’s right. I’m thinking maybe it’s better I don’t have any to use right now.
Still, I want them.
She must not see it in my eye, because she won’t shut up.
– Because it just doesn’t work that way. I mean, Joe, and I don’t want to hurt you, but you could have been fucking your brains out. But you’re not special that way, not knowing. Everything anyone knows about the Vyrus, it’s all anecdotal. And there’s only so many people to ask. And a guy like you, I’m guessing that asking about the facts of life wasn’t what you were comfortable with. Which I totally get. I mean, my mom practically gave me a demo when I was nine, and did I need that? No. So someone mentioned something around you about how no one knew how the Vyrus really transmitted and you went all celibate. But them.
She points at the kids on the bed.
– They didn’t care. They were just into each other. Just hot kids who wanted to do it.
She shrugs.
– Fucking won’t infect Delilah. But the baby. I need to see what happens with the baby is all.
She looks up at me.
– And it’s just too early to take it out.
– Are you here to save us?
We look at the pregnant girl, pushed up on her elbow, rubbing sleep from her eyes.
– Please tell me you’re here to save us.
I shake my head.
– No, I’m just here because your dad wants to see you.
She shakes the boy.
– Awake, Benjamin, he’s here to save us.
Amanda shakes her head.
– Really, Joe, is it any wonder I drugged her. She will not stop talking like that.
I take a step toward the kids as the boy starts to rouse.
– Whatever.
Amanda clucks her tongue.
– Sela.
The blade is in my hand, my arm is wrapped around Amanda’s neck, the edge is on her throat.
Sela is on the balls of her feet, I can see the flutter of pulse under her jaw. Too fast. She’s at zero percent body fat. Her skin is starting to get that stretched look. Everything about her looks stretched to the limit.
– Let her go, Joe.
– Open the door, Phil. Kids, over here.
Phil fiddles with the knob.
– Um, I got this feeling, Uh, like, if I open the door Sela will kill me.
– So stay here, Phil. Be here when Predo comes. Better, Predo doesn’t come, be here when Amanda can’t let enough blood herself to keep Sela alive. Phil, why the fuck do you think you’re still here in the first place?
He hangs his head.
– Maaan. That sucks.
Sela twitches.
– Gonna finally kill Joe Pitt.
– Thought we always got along OK, Sela.
– Till you put a knife at my girl’s throat. Till you found those bleeding children in that hole in Queens and did nothing.
– Oh, that.
Chubby’s daughter has gotten the boy awake. I step from the door to let them past.
– Phil.
– I don’t know, man.
– Just run. Leave the keys. Take the kids and run. She won’t come after you.
– Awww, shiiit!
He yanks the door open and runs, not with the kids, but he does drop the keys.
Exceeding expectations.
Delilah is dawdling.
– And you, sir?
I don’t look from Sela.
– Start downstairs. Don’t stop. Just keep going until they run out.
The boy points at Sela.
– You want help with her? I’m, you know, I’m like you.
– Kid.
Tighten my grip on Amanda.
– Seriously, you’re not.
The girl grabs him and pulls him out the door.
– Come, Benjamin, we must flee.
They’re gone.
Amanda tilts her head a bit, baring her throat further.
– Come on, Joe.
I start backing toward the door.
– Sela, just get him off me, will you, I mean.
She laughs.
– It’s Joe. He won’t hurt me.
Sela takes a step for each of mine.
– Be quiet, baby.
– Just get him off me and go get the girl and the baby.
We’re at the door.
Sela bounces in place.
– Kill you, Joe.
Amanda lifts her chin higher yet.
– Come on, Joe, slit it. Sela, he won’t. He can’t. Just come over here and he’ll push me at you and run. He won’t even use me as a shield. He won’t risk hurting me if you two fight. Just scare him off me, knock him down and, I mean, the baby, Sela.
– Be quiet, babe.
I back us through the door into the hall.
– Pull it closed.
Amanda goes limp.
– No.
Sela steps closer.
– Do not play games with him.
I jerk her upright.
– Amanda.
– Joe, dear.
– I killed your mom. I murdered her.
She stiffens a little.
– That’s a lie.
Sela, getting closer.
– Babe.
I think about Amanda’s mom. Her neck breaking. Just after she kissed me. A long time ago.
– I killed her. And if you want to know why, close the fucking door.
Amanda reaches for the door as I let her go.
Sela moves.
It’s shut. I have the keys, snap a lock, and run.
Amanda grabs me.
– Joe. Tell me.
The door rattles in its frame. Double cylinder locks, take a key to go in or out. Sela will have to find hers to open it. Seconds. More if she loses it and goes feral.
– Joe.
I look at Amanda.
Worm at the middle of the world.
I sheath the blade.
– Girl, you don’t want to know.
I shove her away, vault the banister, hit the next landing down, feel it in my bad knee.
Door being pounded above, Sela screaming. Doors pounded below, howling, increasing floor by floor as Phil and the kids descend.
But all I can hear is her.
– You couldn’t do it, Joe. You couldn’t hurt me. Not really. You couldn’t.
But she’s crying while she says it.
So I know it’s not true.
I can hurt anyone. Experience counts for something.
We’re fucked before we hit the ground floor.
I catch up to Chubby’s kid and her boy. She’s waddling down the stairs, he’s got her arm, helping her. I hit the landing next to them, racket from the door there, whatever’s behind it can smell her blood.
I grab the girl and swing her off the floor and turn to the kid.