This caused a rumble of laughter to move through the group, which I didn’t appreciate.
Reginald also turned around to address me. “Don’t try to leave the house. We’ve left Cuthbert there to stand guard.”
I tapped my fingers against the windowsill. First of all, I knew which one was Cuthbert, and I could see him traipsing along with the rest of them. Second, I knew they had all left. Did they not think I could count to seven?
As they walked away from me, Cedric split away from the rest of the group. I could just make out the words he said to the others. “It’s high time I went north and spoke with Prince Hubert.”
Reginald nodded. “The sooner the better.” A few minutes later they all disappeared down the forest trail.
I went to the door and tried the handle again. I knew it was bolted on the outside and so I jiggled it, hoping I 125/431
could somehow knock the bolt loose. Nothing happened.
I looked at the hinges, fingering them. The door’s con-struction had to be simple. After all, it had probably been made with only a handsaw and a mallet. Surely I could take it apart, find a weakness, something.
Or not.
You know, instead of teaching us completely pointless things like how to figure out the angles of a triangle, school ought to teach us something we could actually use in life, like how to escape from a room after you’ve been locked in by a bunch of dwarfs.
If I had a rope, I could secure one end to the doorknob and climb out the window. I searched the room for something I could use as a makeshift ladder, but all I had was that furry animal skin on my bed. I never asked what animal, because frankly I didn’t want to know. I couldn’t very well tie it to anything to use as a rope. This is why, apparently, Rapunzel had to throw down her hair. The Middle Ages were lacking in good ladder material.
I leaned out the window again and tried to judge the distance to the ground. The house wasn’t smooth like the ones from the twenty-first century. It had been made from stones and mortar, which jutted out at all sorts of angles. A little like a rock-climbing wall. I’d done those before. Of course, I’d always done them with a harness 126/431
and a rope tied around me, but this time I didn’t have a choice.
I heaved myself out the window and carefully gripped onto the rocks. I inched downward, at every moment expecting the rock to give way under my feet or for my hands to slip, but neither happened. Slowly, I made my way down the wall.
At last I was able to jump to the ground. Without looking back, I ran into the forest, making sure to head in a different direction than the dwarves had gone.
I’d only made it a little way when I saw Chrissy leaning up against a tree, her hands folded across her chest.
She shook her head solemnly at me.
“That was the most pathetic princess display I’ve ever seen.” She craned her neck to see past me into the village. “You attacked an old woman, then convinced a group of dwarfs you were insane. One more day and the whole fairy tale would have to be rewritten to include a chapter where the villagers go to the castle, beg the queen for a poisoned apple, and administer it themselves just so they can have some peace and quiet.” It was hard to speak, hard to get out everything I wanted to say. I ended up just pointing at her and then waving my hand wildly. “This wasn’t my fault. You made me stupid!”
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Chrissy’s wings fluttered, for a moment buzzing like a hummingbird. “Oh, excuse me, but you’re the one who made yourself stupid. I was only working with what you gave me.”
“I’m not stupid,” I said.
Her expression turned patronizingly tolerant. “You only wanted to be loved and beautiful. Don’t blame me if it didn’t make you happy.”
“I never asked you for a half-wit prince.” She looked up at the sky for a moment like it was a point hardly worth defending. “Well, what kind of guys do you think half-wit girls get in life? Do you think intelligent guys want to hang out with stupid girls for very long? I would have thought you’d already learned that lesson with the whole Hunter and Jane thing.” She shrugged and smiled in my direction. “Don’t worry, though, because Prince Hubert is very handsome and kind. That’s all you wanted in a boyfriend, wasn’t it?”
“No,” I said.
She raised an eyebrow. “It must be. If you had admired any other qualities you would have developed them in yourself, wouldn’t you?” Which was really too much. I put my hands on my hips. “Aren’t fairy godmothers supposed to be nice and make you feel better about yourself?” 128/431
She rolled her eyes. “No, you’re confusing fairy godmothers with sales clerks.” She stepped away from me, but continued to watch me carefully. As though she were talking to, well, Snow White, she said, “You’d think you would have learned something from your last wish. I didn’t send you into Cinderella’s life at the climax of that story; why would I do it this time? If you had paid attention to the weather or the trees in the village, you would have known that apples are in season right now. Why would the evil queen think you could be tempted to take one from a stranger when you could get them anywhere else? The queen doesn’t show up until winter, when all the fresh fruit is gone and a fresh apple is a delicacy worth taking a risk for.”
Okay, when she put it like that, it did make sense. But still, how was I supposed to know that? I lived in the land of supermarkets where you could get fresh fruit all year round. Besides, I wanted to go home, not to analyze whose fault it was that Snow White was stupid.
“Look,” I said slowly. “I want to make a wish and I want you to listen very carefully to all of it so that you make sure you get it right this time. Can you do that before you rush back to the mall?” Her wings fluttered in agitation and she folded her arms, but she nodded. “You have my full attention.” 129/431
“I don’t want to be in some medieval fairy tale. I want to live back home with my family. When I said I wanted a prince, I didn’t mean somebody from history or the pages of a storybook. I meant that I wanted that type of guy, but I want him from my own day and age. I want a boyfriend who is nice, kind—and handsome too, but that’s not the most important thing.
“As I’ve thought about Jane and Hunter during my time here, I realize the problem was he never really liked me, he just liked what I looked like. He always wanted someone who was more like Jane and when they met, well, it was just bound to turn out that way. So I want someone who is loyal and has integrity—but most important I want a guy who likes me for me, who likes my personality.” It was hard to say that part after Chrissy had just accused me of being stupid, so I added, “And okay, I admit that in the past I haven’t applied myself in school like I should have, but I’m turning over a new leaf, so I want a guy who is smart too. And I want this guy to go to prom with me.”
She stared at me for another moment, then finally said, “That’s it? You’re done and won’t accuse me of not listening to the whole thing?”
“Right. I’m done.” I held out one hand to her. “You heard the part where I said I wanted all of this to happen back home in my day and age, right?” 130/431
“Yes. I heard that part.”
“Good, because I so want to take a—” Before I’d even said the words “hot shower,” the two of us were standing back in my bedroom.
Chapter 8
I looked around, blinking at the things that seemed familiar and yet so new. Relief engulfed me, and then surprise. “Hey, everything’s still in focus and I’m not wearing my contacts.”
Chrissy shrugged. “Yes, well, that’s one of those side effects of magic that I warned you about. After people live through a couple of wishes they almost always see things more clearly.”
I went over to my bed, ran my hand across the soft comforter, and sat down. Now that I was safely back home all the questions that I’d thought of over the last few weeks rose to the surface of my mind. “Where were the real Cinderella and Snow White while I was being them? And how come everyone thought I was them even though I still looked like me whenever I saw myself in a mirror?”