Eden comes running toward me and I scoop her up, relishing in her tiny baby hugs. She babbles non-stop as she and I have our own conversation until she wants down so she can chase the kids. Katelyn and Jenna both pull me into a hug; a hug that means something different to everyone else here. We’re going through something a lot of women don’t understand and as long as we have each other, we should be okay. At least that’s what I’m going to tell myself every day until my husband is back in my arms.
When we pull apart I see the same worry in their faces that I wear on mine. I want to reassure them that everything will be fine, but I can’t even bring myself to think that. This trip means something different for me than it does them. I have a bad feeling that I can’t shake.
“There’s food, lots and lots of food,” Katelyn says as she pulls me into the dining room. The twins are dressed identical in dresses, much to Peyton’s chagrin. If ever there were a walking definition of a tomboy, she’s it. Someday she’ll want to wear dresses; she just doesn’t know it yet. Quinn smiles and starts filling his plate full of food.
“Are you staying?” I ask him.
He shakes his head quickly as his cheeks turn a beautiful pink. “I’ll be upstairs waiting for Noah so we can play video games.”
“I’m sure he’s looking forward to that, Quinn.” He doesn’t say anything else and quickly leaves the room after more women come in.
I make myself a plate of food and grab something to drink. Katelyn signals for me to follow her into the living room where I’m directed to sit in a large chair.
“We’re going to help pass out presents, Aunt Josie,” Elle says, as Peyton sits down next to me.
“You can sit here and help me open them if you want,” I tell her, knowing she’ll be up as soon as she sees her sister getting all the attention. Looking at Peyton, quiet and a bit withdrawn, I want to yell and shake Liam for taking Harrison away from her. She’s just a little girl who wants to be with her dad but can’t.
Everyone gathers around me; most are holding conversations amongst themselves and every now and again I hear Liam’s name. The mumbled mention of him being gone again when another baby is on the way strikes a nerve. I want to stand up and yell, telling them to stop being jealous, catty bitches but I refrain.
Noah appears before me, proudly handing me a present. “Open this one first, Mom. It’s from Dad and me.” Once again I have to fight the tears from coming as I tear open the blue paper.
“It’s a beautiful box,” I tell him, winking. He shakes his head and smiles, knowing that I’m playing with him.
“Open it,” he encourages.
And I do. I lift the lid of the blue box and pull out the velvet box inside. I open the creaking lid and it reveals two Tiffany baby rattles with blue ribbons.
“Dad says we’ll have the baby’s name put on it once you guys decide what to call him.”
“And this one?” I hold up the second one that has Noah’s named engraved. He shrugs and tries to hide his smile.
“I read that moms like these so Dad had one made for me so the baby and I could match.”
There’s no hiding the tears this time as I pull him into my arms. “Thank you, Noah, I love it.”
“You’re welcome, Mom.” I hate that he pulls away so quickly, but I get it. I dab at my eyes and pray that my make-up isn’t running. I don’t need any pictures depicting me as the Bride of Frankenstein today.
I slide my phone out of the pocket in my dress and type a text to Liam.
Thank you. I love the rattles and I love you.
I hold my phone for a second longer, waiting for the conversation bubble to pop up. When it doesn’t, I try not to let that bother me. I know he’s busy. That he’s working. But I want to be a priority and want him answering every text I send as soon as I send it.
Now that the first present is out of the way, Elle has me flooded with more. Peyton has taken the job of moving the presents around to all the guests so they can “ooh” and “aah” at all of the cuteness. I’m opening everything from washcloths to clothes, including onesies that say, “I’m with the Band” and “My Dad Sings All the Lullabies”. Images of Liam singing to our son flood my mind. I can’t wait to see him sitting in the nursery, rocking his son to sleep.
All chatter stops when the doorbell rings. I look around and don’t notice anyone missing, unless it’s Harrison’s sister and mom, but they wouldn’t ring the bell.
“I don’t think she wants you here,” I hear Katelyn say, causing some concern.
“Excuse me for a minute,” I tell everyone as I walk toward the door. When I enter the foyer I see the cause of Katelyn’s raised voice.
“What are you doing here?” I ask my very absent mother-in-law who is standing on the porch holding a gift. The usual defiance is gone as she stands there looking at me. Liam has only seen her a few times since he moved home, and never longer than five minutes or so. To say they don’t have a relationship is an understatement. I know she’s been making attempts to visit Noah, although she never makes it further than the driveway.
“Bianca,” my mother says from behind me. I can feel her hand on the small of my back, and I can’t tell if she’s pushing me forward or trying to hold me back. “I’m so happy you could make it.”
Katelyn and I turn to look at my mom, who is ignoring both of us. She steps forward and pushes the screen door open so Bianca can step in.
“I’m sorry I’m late. My nerves got the best of me.”
“It’s understandable, but there’s plenty of party food left,” my mom says as she ushers my mother-in-law into the other room. I can hear her make introductions as Katelyn and I stare at each other.
“Did you know?”
She shakes her head. Of course she didn’t because she wouldn’t allow it.
I bite my lip, trying to keep the anger away, but it’s rolling in like a bad storm. “What am I going to do?”
Katelyn places both hands on my shoulders and looks me square in the eyes. “You’re going to go in there and act like you own the place. Do not let that woman ruin your day.”
I nod, but can’t bring myself to think positively. I pull out my phone, hoping for a text from Liam, but there isn’t one.
Your mother just showed up at my shower!!!!! WTF??
A bell slams against the glass door; making known to anyone in the bar that someone is walking in. I don’t remember it being there before, but I really only used the front entrance a few times when I was playing here. Once I got my first gig, Trixie gave me the code for the backdoor.
“We’re closed.”
The voice is older, hoarser, but I’ll never mistake it for anyone other than Trixie. Harrison, JD and I linger in the bar while the stranger behind the counter finishes slamming bottles around. When a head of black and white hair pulled back in a high bun pops up, I know it can be none other than Trixie. None of us say anything as she mumbles to herself and it dawns on me that she was probably hoping that whoever was at the door left.
“I told you idiots that we’re closed,” she says with her back facing us. We give each other a look, all three of us with our brows furrowed.
Trixie slowly turns around and places her hand on her hip. A white towel is draped over her shoulder and she looks forty years older than when I last saw her. Time has not been good to Trixie. Gone are the flawless skin and ruby red lips that I remember from years ago.
“We’re closed, morons. Or are you those stupid types that don’t understand English. Did Sal send you down here to spy?”
I look at Harrison and JD who both shrug wondering who the hell Sal is.
“Don’t you remember me? Or us?” She should remember Harrison. Not only did he work here for years, but he was just here performing drums with a band.
“Oh I remember you; you’re Charlie Page’s grandson.”