My phone sits on the counter, mocking me. If I had to bet, I’d say Liam is on his way home because we’ve never gone this long without talking. I know him well enough to know he’s pacing, pulling at his hair and pounding his fists against the windows overlooking the town he loves so much. When he booked his suite at the Wilshire, the night that I met him there came rushing back. I was teetering that night, willing to give myself to him so I could remember what it felt like to be under his control. To have him hovering over me, willing my body to be at his command.
He wouldn’t let me. Instead he paced, often moving out of my grasp just as I had him in it. It pained him not to touch me and each time I’d look into his eyes; his resolve was breaking mine down. When I reminded him that I was engaged, it was for my benefit not his. I had to say the words out loud to remind myself that I already gave myself to another man.
When it comes down to it, Liam isn’t any different. He willingly gave himself away to his painkillers, as he called them. I can’t hold that against him.
I push the home button on my phone and look at the notifications. Liam has called and texted, along with Katelyn and Jenna. Swiping my finger across Liam’s missed call; I enter my passcode, listening to his voice sing out into my ear. In the first message he’s telling me that he’s checking in and would like me to text him when I’m free. In the second he wants to know what I’m doing and why I haven’t texted him. It’s in his third message that I detect panic in his voice when he tells me that he loves me and really needs to hear my voice. The fourth message he leaves is mostly cussing and asking where I’m at. The rest of the messages are from Katelyn and Jenna, following the same pattern as Liam’s: What am I doing, why am I not answering the phone?
I don’t bother reading his texts messages before replying.
I’m sorry. I’m home and have been sleeping. Just tired.
The lie - or, technically, omission of the truth - comes easier than it should, but telling him that I’ve been reading the book that he doesn’t want me to read won’t sit well with him and fighting over the phone is not something I want to happen while he’s in LA.
Can you come over?
I send that to Katelyn, knowing she’ll be here the second she wakes. After starting a pot of coffee, I return to the bathroom and pick up the trash... also known as the novel. It’s sad to think that people will spend their hard earned money on something like this, but the gossipmongers will be out in full-force and taking this as gospel, especially the part that tells the world that the only reason Liam and I are married is because of Noah and how I blackmailed him, threatening to take everything away from him. It’s funny to think that it was me begging Liam not to take Noah away from me. Alone, he could offer Noah such a better life and could easily have had his high-powered attorneys destroy me. Sam tried though, on his behalf. It was that night that I knew Liam and I would be okay. When I showed him the papers that Sam had dropped off, he was livid, promising me he would never do anything of the sort. Sadly, somehow that part didn’t make it into the novel. I guess Calista Jones failed fact checking in school.
The sound of the buzzer blasts through the house notifying me that someone is at the gate. The video monitor by the door shows me Katelyn, sitting in her car. Turning off the alarm and pressing the button that opens the gate, I return to the kitchen and pull out two mugs and pour the freshly brewed coffee into them. It’s going to be a long day for me and knowing she’s come here in the middle of the night means she’s been waiting for my text.
“What the hell, Josie?” she says as she comes through the door. Katelyn puts her bag down on the counter and pulls me into a hug. “Liam called and said you weren’t answering. I called you and when you didn’t answer I called Nick to see if he had Noah and to find out if you were going anywhere. What’s going on?”
“This,” I tell her as I hand her the book. “It was delivered earlier, and I decided to read it.”
Her face and shoulders drop as she looks at me. Tears form around the rims of my eyes, but they stay at bay. She knows what I’m going through, as she went through something similar with Harrison, all thanks to Sam.
“Did you read it?”
I nod. “Most of it.”
She sets it on the counter and brings the mug closer to her, adding some of the cream that I had pulled out before she walked into the kitchen.
“You know, you told me not to believe everything I read or see in the press about Harrison, right?”
“That’s what the guys tell us to do. We have to trust them.”
Katelyn holds her mug in her hands, warming them even though it isn’t cold out. “When Harrison and I were in LA a few weeks back, we went to a basketball game. It was more for Peyton than any of us, but we do things as a family so we all went. I was minding my own business, when I happened to glance up at the jumbo Tron and find my husband gawking at one of the cheerleaders in front of us. I was so angry and embarrassed that I never stopped to look at the bigger picture. Aside from showing complete disinterest, he had nowhere else to look. The girl was right in front of him, shaking her ass. But that didn’t excuse him from looking.
“I spent the next few days angry with him. I would stay inside when he took the kids out to surf and I made sure to keep my ass covered. Those girls were in their twenties and here I am over thirty and shit is starting to sag. Harrison finally had enough and told me so that night. He reminded me that we made promises to each other and nothing should ever come between us. He also said that there are people out there that will make us second guess the people we love and if we allow that, we’re going to be living our lives always looking over our shoulders.”
She pauses to take a drink. “Now tell me, why did you read it?”
“Because I was curious and because I’m jealous.”
“Jealous of what?”
I set my cup down and cover my face, ready to admit for the first time that everything he’s done with his life was better than what we had planned. “I’m hurt that those people got his time when Noah didn’t get shit and he deserved it more than any of them. I’m jealous that I wasn’t enough for Liam to be a part of it. I’m jealous that other women know him the way I do and that they think they have the right to talk about him. I’m jealous that I missed ten years and will never get them back.”
Katelyn steps toward me, placing her hands on my shoulders. “You do realize that not many marriages work in this situation. I think you should count your lucky stars that he grew up before he came back to you or you’d be on the front page of those rags with the headlines that make your blood boil. Believe me when I tell you it’s not easy to see people calling me a gold-digger and not worth a marriage proposal. Harrison has said time and time again that we’ll get married, but it’s not what he wants. I’m happy with the way things are and I don’t question his loyalty to me and the girls, but the outside world doesn’t get that.”
“The outside world is going to think that I blackmailed Liam into marriage, I think I’d much rather have the title of gold-digger.”
Leaning against the wall, I stare out the large window at the active nightlife below me. All night I’ve been trying to get ahold of Josie. Each time my text messages have gone unanswered and my phone calls end up going to voicemail. Logic would say to call our house phone, but that would require us to buy a landline phone and we haven’t done that yet. The phone line is used strictly for our alarm system.