The way I see it I can be angry with two dead people who can’t defend their actions now, or open this box and see what Grandma Betty can tell me. Hopefully, she’s the key to figuring everything out.
Removing the lid unveils a pile of papers and a few smaller boxes. Picking up the first stack of papers, I blow the dust off and unfold them. This is the deed to her house, and it’s in Liam’s name. Sam said in her diary that she didn’t sell the house like he had asked and it makes me wonder if it’s still there. Has it sat empty all this time?
The next section of papers reveals a death certificate. Its dated only months after he left me. My heart drops, beating a bit faster knowing I wasn’t enough to bring him back after his grandmother passed away. These are two things I now know from my investigation: Liam possibly still owns his grandmother’s house, and he lost her early on in his new career path.
Setting the certificate aside, I dig in and pull out a wooden box. The name “Betty” is engraved on the outside. Opening it reveals jewelry: Diamonds and rubies. Sizes of rings I’ve only seen in stores are sitting there and in need of some serious attention.
The next box holds pictures. I immediately recognize Bianca. My finger trails down the image, mesmerized by her beauty. Her dark hair is pulled up high, and she’s wearing a light colored dress with the most vibrant smile. I’ve never seen her smile like this, but would like to. I think Noah and Liam deserve to see the sparkle she has in her eyes in this picture shine for them.
I look inside the box and see that I have another wooden box and a folder left to look through. I wish I could say I’m satisfied with what I’m finding, but I’m not. Liam should have this stuff out on display, or locked away for safekeeping.
The other wooden box is engraved with “Charlie” and I’m guessing that belongs to his grandfather. I run my fingers over the letters and think that Charlie would make a great name for our newest addition. I had thought Liam would suggest Mason, but he hasn’t said anything yet and I may offer up Charlie as an option.
Opening the box reveals an old folded piece of paper. I carefully unfold and read the words meant for someone else.
My Dearest Betty,
Death knocks on my door, and yet you stay by my side. I should’ve never left you and Bianca. I was stupid, selfish and thought the grass would be greener on the other side. I was wrong. Being away from you was a mistake and one I’ll never be able to change. The only thing I can do, is make sure you’ll always be taken care of. Someday I hope that you forgive me for wronging you the way I did.
Love, Charlie
I wipe away the tears before they hit the paper and find myself needing to scream at love lost, yet again, because of foolish mistakes and death. Liam never knew his grandfather and his grandmother weren’t allowed to see him. Life shouldn’t be this way. At the end of the letter is a bank and routing number. It’s all Charlie wanted, to take care of his one true love. I fold the letter up and press it to my heart. Charlie’s wedding ring, watch and pocketknife are the only things left in the box aside from a few pictures of Betty and Bianca.
The folder is heavy when I pick it up and I can easily deduce that it’s full of paper. I close my eyes and pray this will have what I’m looking for. I undo the clasp which falls apart in my hand. It’s not old, just over used. I pull out the stack of papers. My heart catches in my throat as I gulp for air. I flip through the pages and pages of notes, all in Liam’s handwriting. I don’t understand why they’re in this box. Why would they be in a box for his grandparents and not for him? The pages are dated, and in order, starting with the day he left.
All she had to do was hold me.
Tell me everything would be okay.
Her words – they broke me and yet she cries.
I remember that day vividly. I don’t need a reminder.
She hates me, but I love her.
I want to tell her.
Call her.
Beg her.
Her voice will break me.
Shatter me.
I said the one thing to end it.
Josephine.
The sob escapes before I can control it. My lips tremble as tears rush down my face, my breathing labored. Each inhale is painful, and it feels as though I can’t exhale because I can barely catch my breath. I let it all out, screaming loudly until my throat is dry and scratchy. The tears won’t stop, and I don’t expect them to as long as I’m reading his words.
She wants to get married, but I don’t love her.
When I look at her, she’s not the one I see in my dreams.
She’s blonde and my fantasy is a brunette.
She’s pregnant, and I want nothing to do with her.
I DON’T WANT HER
Never have.
I’m weak. I’m weak. I’m weak.
I flip to the end, unable to read anything about Sam and her fake baby. She tried to trap Liam, and it almost worked. It would’ve if he hadn’t left.
A piece of me has died.
My best friend, gone.
He never knew how sorry I am.
I’m going home.
She’ll be there.
Will I be able to tell her?
That I still love her?
With every breath – the love I have grows stronger.
Fuck distance.
Fuck life.
I hold the papers to my chest and let everything pour out of me at once. I’m an idiot for doubting him, for thinking that he wasn’t being honest with me. We have a good life and I almost let the pain I feel from not having him here with me ruin us.
“No more,” I say to a room full of memories. “Sam can’t hurt me anymore.”
I won’t allow it.
I start picking everything up, leaving his grandparents’ box for last. I want to talk to him about it, bring their stuff into our lives. We should be celebrating their lives, even if she’s the one who pulled him away from me.