“Why are you being so unreasonable? Think of Ma — she’s getting on, how much longer. .”
“We’ve been through all this, bordi.”
“Why don’t you tell us what kind of person you want — we’ll look.”
Bina said, “Are you telling me it’s like an outfit or a shoe that you can order at a shop?”
All this was happening in my presence, I felt quite uncomfortable. Just as I was wondering if I could leave on a pretext, Bina’s sister suddenly glanced at me and said, “Why look anywhere else — you and Abani here are a perfect match.”
Bina went off in peals of laughter. “What rubbish!”
Her laughter betrayed excellent health, but it didn’t ring very nicely in this doctor’s ears. I stood up and said grimly, “Well, goodbye.”
Bina’s sister said, “You seem annoyed.”
“Not at all — I have some things to do, so. .”
“Will you take us for a spin in your car? It’s so hot, we’d love some fresh air.”
“Of course. Come along. .”
“What about you, Bina?” asked her sister as she rose.
Bina came along too. After a couple of turns around the Dhakuria Lake, I stopped the car. Bina’s sister wanted to sit on the grass, but as soon as we got out of the car, she ran into a neighbor and the two of them walked on ahead.
“What would you like to do?” I asked Bina. “Sit here, or catch up with them?”
Bina said, “Might as well go back, this area has become terrible these days.”
“We’ll go back when they return,” I persisted. “Let’s sit down for a while.”
The two of us sat down, and then there was no conversation. I was trying to dredge the shallows of my brain for something to say, when Bina suddenly said, “My sisters imagine I’ve forgotten Ramen. But I haven’t — and won’t either.”
I responded, “I know. And I feel bad about what they say too.”
“But let me ask you something. Why do you hang about our place — aren’t you supposed to be a friend of Ramen’s?”
I cannot myself describe what my expression must have been like at that moment but it must have been quite terrible, for the moment she looked at me, Bina’s expression changed as well. She said quickly in a low voice, “Please don’t mind, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“You’re right,” I said and stood up.
Bina stood up immediately too and said, “I never say such things to anyone, I wish I knew why I said it to you. Please tell me you won’t remember this.”
“But you’re right.”
“No, I’m not. I’m wrong. You’ll come tomorrow, won’t you? Tell me you’ll come.”
“I will.”
“Can you tell me something? Has Ramen married his Ruth?”
“I don’t know.”
“Don’t you run into him anymore?”
“I haven’t seen him in ages.”
She didn’t say anything else.
I said, “If there’s anything you want to tell him I can let him know.”
“No, I have nothing to tell him,” said Bina and sighed.
Her sister rejoined us. Bina rose and said, “Let’s go home.”
“So soon?” said her sister and looked at her, and then at me. “What’s the matter, have you two been quarrelling?”
Bina laughed in a manner designed to prove the complete falsity of her sister’s surmise, but the laughter lacked authenticity. I didn’t smile either.
That night I made up my mind. Enough — this was the end. If Bina could say to my face what she did, the mere suspicion of what she really thought made me break out in a sweat. The expression “hang about” was eating away at my brain like termites. But it wasn’t right to do anything drastic suddenly; that would be melodramatic, people would notice, it would become a topic of conversation. After all, I had developed something of an intimacy with these people over the past few months. Without revealing my intentions I planned to gradually decrease the frequency of my visits, and then finally disappear — nobody would consider anything significant to have happened. I’d get peace of mind, they’d be relieved, Bina wouldn’t have to put up with the unwanted company of a fool.
With this objective, I visited them the next day, to discover Bina all dressed up and waiting in the drawing room. She said, “Ah, you’re here.”
When I glanced at her she said, “I was worried you wouldn’t come anymore.”
I realized this was a case of applying a balm of sweetness to the previous day’s wound. Forcing a smile, I said, “Why shouldn’t I?”
Bina laughed unaffectedly and said, “That’s what I thought. But how bordi scolded me last night!”
“Scolded you? Why?”
“It seems I’m very rude, unsocial, impertinent. .”
“Why, what’s the matter?”
“I’ve already admitted it was wrong of me to have said what I did — why drive it home further? Anyway, now that you’ve come, I’m relieved. Bordi, bordi. .” Bina called out without getting up. “Abani has come.”
I hadn’t seen Bina in such great spirits recently — never, in fact — for from the time I had seen her, she had been overcome by love. She seemed like a different person, like a child, it was good.
After her bath, Bina’s sister came in and said, “Bina, could you get the tea please? They’re making some snacks, get those as well.”
When Bina had left, her sister smiled at me and said, “We’ve fixed her marriage with that court officer, Abani. The boy’s family is in a hurry, and Ma’s getting anxious too. And really, how long can one delay these things?”
It seemed to me Bina was something of a burden for these people, that they’d be thankful to be rid of her. I didn’t like the idea.
“We were thinking of next month — the twenty-ninth. .”
“So soon?” the words escaped my mouth.
“We’ve written to Gayatri, they’ll arrive soon.”
Things had progressed quite a ways. And I knew nothing. Then again, why should I know — where did I stand in the scheme of things, after all? Was that why Bina was in such high spirits today?
Her sister said, “What do you think?”
“I was only thinking. .”
“Thinking what? That’s what I want to know.”
“Has she agreed?”
“Bina? We can’t afford to wait for her to agree. We can’t all be as childish as she is, can we?”
So, she hadn’t agreed? The marriage was against her wishes? And still so joyful?
The tea arrived, so did the snacks, and so did Bina. But the tea tasted bitter, the snacks stale, I didn’t even glance at Bina.
After I had finished my tea, Bina’s sister said, “Shall we go to the lake again?”
My mind was wandering, I came to with a start and said, “Were you talking to me?”
“Of course I was talking to you. Let’s not take the car, it’s not very far, after all. A walk will be nice.”
She knew everyone in the neighborhood; no sooner did we go out than she ran into someone she knew. A little later I noticed Bina and I had left them far behind. Back then, girls were just beginning to move around freely in that part of town. Observing this, I said, “This freedom for women is a very good thing.”
Bina said, “Do you think the freedom to move around freely is everything?”
“I think it’ll grow to cover other things too.”
“I don’t see it happening.”
The words had been on the tip of my tongue for quite some time, I took the opportunity to say them. “You sister gave me the good news.”
“What good news?”
“Apparently on the twenty-ninth of next month. .”
“Are you mad?”
“You mean it isn’t true?”
“Why don’t you ask the one who told you?”
I didn’t say anything more, but I felt much lighter. If I had had to hear from the same Bina who had told me the day before she’d never forget Ramen, that she was about to marry a young court officer of her own free will, wouldn’t that have been sad? And yet, what was so sad about it — didn’t such things happen all the time? Of course they did — every day — and what was wrong with it? And even if you could blame the others, there was no question of blaming Bina, for Ramen neither visited nor even inquired after her, he was probably immersed in Ruth, the scoundrel! If I could have, I would have forced him to marry Bina — but why was I so concerned, what responsibility did I have? Hadn’t I vowed the previous night to put a full stop to this? Indeed, what on earth was I doing here, why did I even visit every day, why did I ever get involved with that play and the people in it? This was the time for me to expand my medical practice, I shouldn’t have even been concerned with anything else. Suddenly it occurred to me that there would be no salvation unless I left Calcutta. Why not spend a few days in Darjeeling, and then get to work with fresh determination — yes, this was a good idea.