«I guess so,» I replied. «If you'll do me the honor of being my guest, I'll take you to a good porterhouse steak at least,» and I took him across to the Eldridge House, a short distance away, leaving a young friend, Will Thomson, a doctor's son whom I knew, in my place.
I gave Dingwall the best dinner I could and drew him out. He was indeed «a live wire,» as he phrased it, and suddenly, inspired by his optimism, the idea came to me that if he would deposit the ten thousand dollars he had Balked of, I could put up boardings on all the vacant lots in Massachusetts Street and make a good thing out of exhibiting the bills of the various traveling shows that visited Lawrence. It wasn't the first time I had been asked to help advertise this or that entertainment. I put forward my idea timidly, yet Dingwall took it up at once. «If you can find good security, or a good surety,» he said, «I'll leave five thousand dollars with you. I've no right to, but I like you and I'll risk it.» I took him across to Mr. Rankin, the banker, who listened to me benevolently and finally said he'd go surety that I'd exhibit a thousand bills for a fortnight all down the chief street on boardings to be erected at once, on condition that Mr. Dingwall paid five thousand dollars in advance; and he gave Mr. Dingwall a letter to that effect, and then told me pleasantly he held five thousand and some odd dollars at my service.
Dingwall took the next train west, leaving me to put up boardings in a month, after getting first of all permission from the lot owners.
To cut a long story short, I got permission from a hundred lot owners in a week through my brother Willie, who as an estate agent knew them all. Then I made a contract with a little English carpenter and put the boardings up and got the bills all posted three days before the date agreed upon. Hatherly's Minstrels had a great fortnight and everyone was content. From that time on I drew about fifty dollars a week as my profit from letting the boardings, in spite of the slump.
Suddenly Smith got a bad cold: Lawrence is nearly a thousand feet above sea-level and in winter can be as icy as the Pole. He began to cough, a nasty little, dry, hacking cough. I persuaded him to see a doctor and then to have a consultation, the result being that the specialists all diagnosed tuberculosis and recommended immediate change to the milder east. For some reason or other, I believe because an editorial post on the Press in Philadelphia was offered to him, he left Lawrence hastily and took up his residence in the Quaker City.
His departure had notable results for me. First of all, the spiritual effect astonished me. As soon as he went, I began going over all he had taught me, especially in economics and metaphysics. Bit by bit I came to the conclusion that his Marxian communism was only half the truth and probably the least important half. His Hegelianism, too, which I have hardly mentioned, was pure moonshine in my opinion, extremely beautiful at moments, as the moon is when silvering purple clouds. «History is the development of the spirit in time; nature is the projection of the idea in space,» sounds wonderful, but it's moonshine, and not very enlightening. In the first three months of Smith's absence, my own individuality sprang upright like a sapling that has long been bent almost to breaking, so to speak, by a superincumbent weight, and I began to grow with a sort of renewed youth. Now, for the first time, when about nineteen years of age, I came to deal with life in my own way and under this name, Frank.
As soon as I returned from the Eldridge House to lodge with the Gregorys again, Kate showed herself just as kind to me as ever. She would come to my bedroom twice or thrice a week and was always welcome, but again and again I felt that her mother was intent on keeping us apart as much as possible, and at length she arranged that Kate should pay a visit to some English friends who were settled in Kansas City. Kate postponed the visit several times, but at length she had to yield to her mother's entreaties and advice. By this time my boardings were bringing me in a good deal, and so I promised to accompany Kate and spend the whole night with her in some Kansas City hotel. We got to the hotel about ten and bold as brass I registered as Mr. and Mrs. William Wallace and went up to our room with Kate's luggage, my heart beating in my throat. Kate, too, was «all of a quiver,» as she confessed to me a little later, but what a night we had! Kate resolved to show me all her love and gave herself to me passionately, but she never took the initiative, I noticed, as Mrs. Mayhew used to do. At first I kissed her and talked a little, but as soon as she had arranged her things, I began to undress her. When her chemise fell, all glowing with my caressings, she asked,
«You really like that?» and she put her hand over her sex, standing there naked like a Greek Venus. «Naturally,» I exclaimed, «and these, too,» and I kissed and sucked her nipples until they grew rosy-red.
«Is it possible to do it-standing up?» she asked, in some confusion. «Of course,» I replied. «Let's try! But what put that into your head?» «I saw a man and a girl once behind the church near our house,» she whispered, «and I wondered how-» and she blushed rosily. As I got into her, I felt difficulty: her pussy was really small and this time seemed hot and dry: I felt her wince and, at once, withdrew. «Does it still hurt, Kate?» I asked. «A little at first,» she replied. «But I don't mind,» she hastened to add, «I like the pain!» By way of answer, I slipped my arms around her, under her bottom, and carried her to the bed. «I will not hurt you tonight,»
I said, «I'll make you give down your love-juice first and then there'll be no pain.» A few kisses and she sighed: «I'm wet now,» and I got into bed and put my sex against hers. «I'm going to leave everything to you,» I said, «but please don't hurt yourself.»
She put her hand down to my sex and guided it in, sighing a little with satisfaction as bit by bit it slipped home. After the first ecstasy, I got her to use the syringe while I watched her curiously.
When she came back to bed, «No danger now,» I cried, «no danger; my love is queen!» «You darling lover!» she cried, her eyes wide, as if in wonder. «My sex throbs and itches and oh! I feel prickings on the inside of my thighs: I want you dreadfully, Frank,» and she stretched out as she spoke, drawing up her knees. I got on top of her and softly, slowly let my sex slide into her and then began the love-play. When my second orgasm came, I indulged myself with quick, short strokes, though I knew that she preferred the long slow movement, for I was resolved to give her every sensation this golden night, When she felt me begin again the long slow movement she loved, she sighed two or three times and putting her hands on my buttocks, drew me close but otherwise made little sign of feeling for perhaps half an hour. I kept right on; the slow movement now gave me but little pleasure: it was rather a task than a joy; but I was resolved to give her a feast. I don't know how long the bout lasted, but once I withdrew and began rubbing her clitoris and the front of her sex, and panting she nodded her head and rubbed herself ecstatically against my sex, and after I had begun the slow movement again, «Please, Frank!» she gasped, «I can't stand more: I'm going crazy- choking!»