"This is no way to treat ladies," Vergetta grunted, as thick irons were fastened around her wrists.
"You are under arrest for corruption of public morals, operating unsafe devices within the city limits and," the of- ficer added, wincing, "assaulting officers of the law." He gestured to his army. "Take them away!"
"But, bubby," Vergetta explained, holding out her manacled hands to the black-robed judge, "this is all a big misunderstanding. Look at me. I'm just an old lady. I wouldn't hurt a fly."
A sharp inhalation of breath came from behind her, probably from one of the officers she had kicked on the way in. He was lucky she only wanted to disarm him and get away. It did cramp a lady's style when she intended to be merciful. The other Pervects sat behind her on a hard wooden bench. Not so comfortable on one's old nether parts. She was more comfortable standing.
"We have had two riots in two days," the magistrate intoned, leaning over his tented hands toward her and the others. "In both cases demons were involved. We have had numerous situations in the past where outworlders have caused a lot of trouble. Now, I am trying-to be lenient, but the evidence against you and your… companions is overwhelming."
"What evidence?" Vergetta said, bluntly. "We sell toys. That's all we're here to do: make people happy. Have you tried our product? It's fabulous. You would enjoy it so much. It would take your mind off your so very responsible job, and I can tell an important man like you could use a break once in a while, if you get my drift." She gestured toward him and the chains jingled. "You think maybe you could take these off, sweetie? They're a little tight."
The judge paid no attention. "Your account does not agree with what our other witness said, madam. He claims that your toy has more sinister motivations."
"Motivations, shmotivations! I heard what the crowd said, but it's not true! We're just businesswomen." Vergetta tried a friendly smile, but the sight of her teeth made the judge's bronzy-green face pale to polished brass. "Look at it from my point of view. Here I am with all my friends, coming in to see how well our new venture with our good friends on Scamaroni is going, and the next thing I know, I'm arrested! Now, how do you think that makes me feel?"
"At present, it makes me think that you're going to be here for a long while, madam," the judge replied. "According to our witness…"
"Yes, your so-called prophet!" Paldine exclaimed. "We want to see him!"
"I know Scammie law," Loorna snapped. "We have the right to be confronted by our accusers. Trot him out. We want to hear from him why he thinks we're…"
"Brainwashers," the officer supplied.
"Right. Thanks… Brainwashers."
The judge nodded, his color restored. "A reasonable request. It so happens that he is also enjoying our hospitality. We'll be happy to let you see him." He turned to the bailiff. "Go get the other prisoner."
Vergetta waited. It was sure to be some kind of misunderstanding. What's more, it would be straightened out easily enough once she had a chance to wring this other person's neck.
In a moment, the bailiff had returned, his face as pale as the judge's had been a moment before.
"The prisoner! He's gone!"
SIXTEEN
"Give 'em the old razzle-dazzle!"
Loud clattering on the other side of the door made me jump in my eternal circuit around the cell. This time I was going to knock the guards unconscious and run for it. Very quietly, I lifted the now empty washing pitcher out of the bowl and tiptoed over to flatten myself against the wall next to the door. Slowly it opened and pushed inward. I raised the pitcher.
"There you are, handsome!"
Tananda threw herself into the cell and mashed me against the wall, pressing her lips into mine. "Mmmph! You must really have missed me, Tiger. Is that for me?"
She plucked the pitcher now hanging unsteadily over our heads from my nerveless fingers.
"Forgive the delay," Zol smiled, entering in Tananda's whirlwind wake with Bunny.
Behind them trailed a huge Scammie guard, his eyes fixed dreamily on Tananda. His breastplate was slightly twisted to one side, and his tunic was rucked up inside it. I also noted that his hair under his helmet was mussed.
"Things have been a little unsettled in the city. We had a little trouble entering this building. I am very impressed by the magik-dampening field! It certainly did not originate in this dimension, but it serves them well. Such a thing ought to be put into use in the Bazaar at Deva. It would cut down on some of the misunderstandings that occur there every day."
I smiled at him, mentally noting that if anyone in the future should happen to want to import the same kind of magik-dispeller in use on Scamaroni, I would campaign against it with every ounce of my influence. I'd been taken plenty of times in my day, and though I didn't enjoy it, I'd never change the way the Deveels operated their most impressive establishment. If you weren't savvy enough to shop in the Bazaar, you shouldn't shop in the Bazaar. Taking the challenge out of it was approaching the problem from the wrong angle.
"I'm glad to see you! How did you get in to see me?"
"Oh," Tananda twinkled, with a grin at the guard, "I have my ways."
"I bet you do," I agreed, a trifle embarrassed, as she and Bunny exchanged sisterly winks.
Only one of Tananda's talents was being a successful Assassin. Another came from a Trollop's natural proclivities, and all I can say is that circumstances have always seemed to prevent me from finding out about them myself. I was grateful they'd managed to get in to see me, but troubled that she had had to do something like that to accomplish it.
"We are ostensibly your legal counsel," Zol told me, "but Mistress Tananda has managed to convince our escort to allow us privacy."
"I'm sorry if you had to… do anything to rescue me," I stammered, attempting to censor my thought in mid-speech. I think I blushed. Tananda laughed and put her hand on my arm.
"Don't be. It was fun. You won't believe what they can do with those noses."
"I don't want to know!" I yelped. I glanced past them into the empty hall. "Where's Gleep?"
"Back on Wuh with Wensley," Bunny replied. "He's taken quite a fancy to the Wuhses. They've gotten over being afraid of him, I think. They pet him whenever he asks, they feed him treats, and they never scold him, even when he damages their houses."
"I'll bet he likes that," I groaned, wondering if they were undoing years of obedience training with their indulgence. "I have to get out of here."
"You bet, Tiger," Tananda agreed. She turned to the guard. "Now, give me the key."
Slowly, the big hand rose and deposited a huge iron key in her hand. She patted him on the cheek.
"Good! Now, go away and count to a thousand, and don't look! I'll come back and find you again later. All right?"
"All right," the ravished-looking Scammie echoed.
He rotated slowly around and ambled toward the cell door. On the threshold he paused and looked longingly at Tananda. She shook her head and twiddled her fingers at him with a rueful smile. He let out a disappointed sigh, and shuffled off into the hallway.
"How can I get out of here?" I asked. I explained my problem with the judge. "You can't convince every guard to go count to a thousand."