I had met a lot of royalty during my stint as a Court Magician. One thing that I realized about them was that most of them didn't have access to their countries' wealth. That power lay in the hands of merchants, landowners, and ministers. I'd known a number of tightwads among them— understandable, since the way to stay wealthy was not to spend the fortune they or their ancestors had spent life-times amassing, but I had underestimated the curiosity value of royalty to those very people. Among those willing to listen to The Princess's Diary, more than a few were eager to experience the famous Cake ceremony, as conducted by the exiled Hermalaya herself. Those who enjoyed it passed on word to others.
"Who've we got next?" I asked Massha, who was keeping track of the letters of introduction and callbacks once I'd let them see the diary spell. We had set up a command center in one of my old chambers in Hemlock's castle. As long as only Hermalaya was imposing on Hemlock's hospitality, the queen let us come and go as we pleased. I transported Nunzio and Chumley in daily from the Bazaar. I was staying in the lonely old inn in the woods there in Klah.
"Ooh, this is a hot one," Massha said, holding up a gilt-edged piece of parchment. "Oatis tipped us off to him. Bobono Macullis Lupercalia. Hey, he's right in Reynardo. He's a Swamp Fox. You would think he has seen the Cake ceremony before."
"He might have," Hermalaya said. "I think I've heard the Lupercalia name before?"
Nunzio and Guido had been doing some research for me into kingdom finances. I plunged into the piles of papers.
"Oh, yes," I said, my eyes narrowing greedily on the document. It was a copy of a loan agreement negotiated on behalf of the royal house of Foxe-Swampburg and signed by Matfany and Lupercalia. "This is great. Matfany's been buying building supplies on credit from this guy. He's months behind on payments. Thousands of gold coins! If we can persuade him, he might be just the straw that breaks the camelpaca's back. Let's see when I can get an appointment to visit him."
"Well, you can't go tomorrow. Both of you have got an interview with Boccarella for the Crystal Ether Network in the morning. The Overseer of Mirth in Killinem is expecting Skeeve in the afternoon."
I made a note on a scrap of paper. "No problem. Day after tomorrow or later. If that's all right with you, princess? I don't want you to feel burned-out. I know we're having you meet a lot of people, but I think we're gaining some terrific allies."
I turned to Hermalaya, who sat on the window seat, turning her Cake server over and over in her fingers.
"Are you okay, honey?" Massha asked, floating over to sit in the air by her. Massha preferred to be weightless whenever possible, and her gaudy flying ring provided all the buoyancy she needed. The Swamp Vixen turned a wistful face toward us.
"I just miss my friends, and all my ladies, and the Old Folks," she said with a heartbreaking little sigh.
I knew just how she felt. I had been exiled, too. Bunny wouldn't allow me to stay in my new office more than a few minutes at a time. On my rare visits back to drop off money and gifts meant to replenish the Foxe-Swampburg treasury when Hermalaya was restored to the throne Gleep greeted me with a tongue-sliming as if I had been gone for years. He and Buttercup were lonely hanging around a half-empty office. Nunzio volunteered to stay behind sometimes and play with them.
"Beneficial and educational exercises," he told me. "It helps increase their intelligence."
I knew he'd be surprised if he knew just how intelligent both Gleep and Buttercup really were. Buttercup was still keeping an eye out the back door for assassins. Each time I checked in with him he dropped a wink of his heavy white lashes to tell me that no strangers had yet tried to invade from the extradimensional side of the tent. That information was all the more important now that I knew Aahz was working against my client's best interests. If he managed to stabilize Matfany's position, poor Hermalaya would never get to go home
The best weapons we had were outrage and financial securities. I'd asked the creditors we had met and impressed so far to hold back until we were ready. I figured that public outcry, mixed with a massed call for repayment of capital I knew Matfany didn't have, would force him to resign and allow the princess to return home. I just hoped we could outdraw whatever Aahz was bringing in for the prime minister. No one would tell me how he was doing, or even what he was doing.
TWENTY
"You don't need to know anything, Aahz," Pookie said, without even looking fully at me as I slid onto the bar stool beside her.
It had taken me a long time to hunt down my younger cousin and Spider, the Klahd woman she had taken on as a business partner. The two of them had the far end of the room to themselves. No points for guessing why: Pookie was dressed in a skintight silver jumpsuit crossed with bandoliers studded with pouches and holsters, and shiny black hoots that had sharpened points for heels. Spider wasn't as flashy. Her faded fatigues had the air that she had been the one who wore them out instead of buying them from an army surplus store. Either way, no one in the room was going to mess with them without permission. I suppose that also meant me, but I had no intention of taking the hint.
"C'mon,'' I wheedled. "You can at least tell me if he's in trouble. You know what the kid's like."
"He's not in trouble,'" Pookie said, her yellow eyes favoring me with a full glare. "Satisfied?"
"No. What's the big problem with helping me find out what direction he's taking?"
"You don't need my help for that, cousin."
I narrowed my eyes at her. "Are you working with him? Any chance I can get you to come over to my side? Spill what you know for the sake of blood ties?"
Pookie emptied her glass and signaled for a refill. "I'm not on his side or anyone else's side. If you want us to do research, you know our rates. Personally or professionally, we're not interested in this one. Final answer."
"Did the others tell you to stand down, or was this your idea?"
"Whether or not I subscribe to it, your friends there hold to a code. No double-crossing. No dirty tricks."
I shrugged. "I've always thought of it as more of a suggestion, myself."
"Whatever. Now, get lost, cousin. We're waiting for a client."
Perturbed, I drummed my fingers on the bar top. The innkeeper gave me one look and stayed back out of reach. I could start tearing the place up, but what good would it do?
"You ought to be more careful about the people you let in here," I informed him. I slid off the bar stool and headed out into the town.
Pookie had been my last chance to pry information out of any of my partners or temporary associates. I decided to stretch my legs and see if I could come up with some ideas.
I stalked through the busy streets, dodging other pedestrians and magik-driven traffic. The locals were at least a foot taller than I was, but thin as fence rails. Skamital wasn't the end of the universe, but nothing was, these days.
With the growing availability of travel gadgets and spells, it seemed like there was no place I could go where I didn't encounter a familiar face.
As I passed by a shop window, I thought I recognized someone.
I backed up a couple of paces and peered through the glass. Yeah, there she was! Matfany's pretty little nemesis, Hermalaya. Not the girl in person, but a portrait of her, on a card standing on top of a pile of thin books on a display table. "The Princess's Diary," the poster said. This was definitely Skeeve's doing.