"Oh, go back, Prince Fanmat," Hermalaya cried, wringing her hands. "He is a formidable opponent."
Aahz struck a pose. "I am not afraid. I'd fight an army for you." He marched toward us with purpose.
The crowd parted for him. He marched through the courtyard, scowling up at me. When he got close to the steps I shouted down to the guards.
"Close the doors!"
BOOM.' The huge metal-clad portals slammed shut. The vibration nearly knocked me off my feet.
"There, intruder. Turn back! You can't get in now!"
Aahz cheated toward the crowd so they could see his noble jaw set. "You think that will keep me out?"
"No!" the mob chorused in unison.
"Damned straight"
Aahz sheathed the sword and took a leap for the arch of stone that enclosed the doorway. I grabbed him with a streamer of magik and helped him look like he was really climbing the face of the castle. The audience couldn't have been more impressed. They were screaming and cheering the higher he got.
That was my cue. I started dropping pillows and small pieces of furniture out of the window onto his head. They bounced off, but he kept coming, stopping every so often to declaim something heroic. Once in a while he glanced up at me with fury rising in his eyes. Even though he had agreed to Chumley's idea that there should be some missiles thrown, he still looked madder than a wet Catrabbit by the time I ran out of ammunition.
He was panting as he got to the top and swung himself over the edge of the balcony.
"Okay, you coward. Now you're going to get what you deserve! With conversation!"
Aahz drew the sword. I, too, drew the weapon at my side.
"Then have at you!" I shouted. "Usurper!"
Aahz swung at my head.
"Intruder!" I yelled.
I threw up my stick. His clacked off it.
"You're a lousy dresser!" he countered.
He drew back slightly, then thrust again. I swung at the tip. I knocked it upward with a wild wave of my arm, then brought my stick down toward Aahz's knee.
"That's rich, coming from a fop like you! What do you know about governing?"
"What do you know about the love of the people?"
He dropped his sword on mine with such force that you could hear the echo in the courtyard. My hand tingled, but I just managed to hold on to my stick.
I was no swordsman. Aahz was deliberately moving slowly enough that I could see where his blows were coming from. I just did my best to get out of the way. But he couldn't miss the whole time, not with the thousands of people waiting for us I let my guard drop.
"Ow!" The stick poked me hard in the chest.
"Gotcha!" Aahz said, with glee.
"Curse yon!" I shouted. That really hurt. Instead of just warding off his strikes, I started swinging wildly. I managed to connect, bringing my sword down on top of his head.
"Ouch!" he bellowed. In an undertone, he hissed. "Watch it, kid, I'm the good guy!"
I was fuming. "Oh. yeah? Good guy? Then why did you. try and mess up all the deals I made for Hermalaya? Why did you say all those things about me?"
"It's all in the game, kid!"
I felt my temper rise. "I'm not a kid anymore!"
Aahz nodded, his face grim set. "Maybe you're not. But this isn't real. This is a game. Remember? We're playacting. This is for her. It's not about you or me. We're not alone. Everybody in the known dimensions is watching. Right'."'
"Right." I had to bring my temper under control. Remember the script! I told myself. It was just a game. After all, who was I really mad at?
Myself. I had caused the breach in the friendship.
I knew in spite of the hurt it had caused that it was necessary to withdraw and learn about myself and my capabilities—but I could see how the others, especially Aahz, had taken it as rejection. I vowed it would be different from now on. I would make this job, and all the other jobs in the future, work for us all.
"You will never defeat me, Fanmat!"
"I'll take you to pieces, Matfany!"
I retreated across the gallery. Aahz lunged at me. I stooped and swung my stick low. Aahz jumped over it, and made a cut for my head. I narrowly missed getting brained, and leaped up on the rail. Our "blades" clacked together. I did some fancy footwork, dancing along the narrow band of metal as Aahz peppered my feet with blows.
"Come back here, you coward!" he yelled.
"Fanmat! Fanmat! Fanmat!"
I recognized the voice who started the chanting as belonging to Gus the Gargoyle, but he wasn't chanting alone for long. The mob joined in, bellowing their approval. We had made them believe in our hero.
The guards watched our interplay with approval. A couple of them even seemed to follow our moves with their bodies. The princess, who had long ago forgotten that this was not a real fight, was pressed against the side of the balcony, looking terrified.
"All right, kid," Aahz whispered, "time for the big finish!"
I jumped down, and the two of us closed, our "swords" held above our heads. We turned around and around, him pushing me or me pushing him. The onlookers shouted and moaned or booed, depending on who looked like he was winning. Once I had gotten over my outburst, it was kind of fun.
With a seeming burst of strength, I threw "Fanmat" sprawling backward. I grabbed Hermalaya around the neck, dragged her to me, and put the point of my sword to her throat.
"Her life is forfeit. I will carry out sentence here and now!"
".Never, you evil prime minister!"
Aahz marched toward me, slashing the air with his sword. I cowered backward with my prisoner. Aahz advanced. His blade came up from below and deftly knocked my stick flying end over end into the audience. He grabbed Hermalaya by the hand and swung her out of my arms. He set her on the other side of the window, away from the guards.
"Stay there, babe," he said. He raised his sword and backed me toward the edge of the balcony. "You're done for, buddy."
It was my turn to strike a pose.
"I did it all for my kingdom!" I declared.
"I'm sure that'll be a great comfort to your next of kin," he leered.
He swung at me. I took the blow full in the chest, and remembered to create the illusion of gallons of blood spurting out of the wound. I clutched my chest. I wavered back and forth on the rail.
Then, I fell.
The crowd gasped.
Dropping any distance is no problem for a magician. I was never in any danger as I plummeted toward the courtyard. There were plenty of guards waiting to surround my body. I just figured I would lie there playing dead while Aahz proclaimed his love for the princess, who was being restored to her rightful place on the throne of Foxe-Swampburg. The guards would cover my face with a cloak and carry me inside, as we had arranged in our script.
But instead of the guards, a circle of faces wearing black headcloths and face masks leered down at me. The snick! of Cake servers being drawn was a chilling sound.
"You evil man! We are going to teach you what it means to attempt the life of a Cake Master!" Ninja hissed at me.
"No, wait!" I protested, holding up my hands. "I'm her friend!"
"Hiayah!" screamed Ninja.
"Hiayah!" yelled the other Cake Masters.
"Kid? Kid? Skeeve? Can you hear me? Open your eyes." Aahz's voice was full of concern.
I opened my eyes. The light hurt for a minute, but it receded to a single oil lamp burning on the table beside me. It lit up Aahz's worried face. I grinned weakly at him. He thumped me on the chest. He grinned back, showing his gleaming mouthful of fangs.
"Good for you, kid," he said. "Glad to see you back among the living."
Practically everybody I knew was peering down at me. I tried to sit up, but my chest felt like a thousand Centaurs had galloped across it. I groaned.