"All right already! Let's get back to the point," Aahz insisted. Hermalaya and Matfany looked at each other. The princess's little pink nose turned even more pink. Both of them retreated to their seats.
"So you see what we have to do," Bunny said. "We have to get both of them back where they belong."
Aahz turned to Hermalaya. "Okay. Here's the bottom line. We need to reinstate you, in some kind of realistic fashion, and we need to change your image," he said to Matfany.
"We can't," I said. Everybody turned to look at me. I shrugged. "He condemned a member of the royal house to death, so he can't just quit and say he's sorry. Hermalaya can't marry a traitor. He can't just come back. He has to pay with his life."
Matfany looked taken aback. "I beg your pardon, sir?"
"You can't take him away again?"
I grinned. "Not exactly. We invent a savior for the kingdom, someone who is willing to come in and put the princess back on her throne." I held up my hands dramatically and formed an illusion between them. "From the faraway land of, uh, Goodenrich, at the far south end of Reynardo, comes the handsome prince Fanmat, who will face the usurper and defeat him in a really dramatic duel to the death." The white-furred figure of Princess Hermalaya appeared on a castle parapet, threatened by a black-haired villain. A shining, golden-pelted hero came riding in on a stallion—I immediately nixed the stallion when everybody else in the room gave me a strange look—pushed the villain aside, and took Hermalaya in his arms. "Then he can marry the princess, who gets her throne back, and the two of you can live happily ever after."
"Bravo," cheered Chumley. "Yes, I can see it. It would suit the situation precisely, what?"
"Looks good to me, too, Boss," Guido said. Bunny gave a nod of approval.
The prime minister shook his head in concern. "There's no kingdom of Goodenrich or a Prince Fanmat that I know of," Matfany said, frowning. "And I don't like this idea of dying, sir, even though I admit I've been a fool."
Hermalaya tapped his wrist. "Silly, it's you."
I clapped my hands, and the vision vanished. "I wouldn't be much of a magician if I couldn't create a good illusionary hero. Until you can change your appearance to match it, that is."
"I like him the way he is?" the princess protested.
"Can't do it," Aahz said, flatly.
"Why not?" Tananda asked. "Everybody will love it."
"It'll void all my contracts," Aahz complained. "You're going to destroy my reputation in sixteen dimensions for a lousy love story. Matfany is the one who signed them."
"Not if I confirm them, Mister Aahz," Hermalaya said. "On a modest basis, your idea of sponsoring national land-marks might be a good thing. But no more big old gaudy signs. That destroys the natural beauty, and without that, what have you got?"
Matfany stared at her with dawning admiration. "That's some mighty good business sense, ma'am."
She blushes. "I've learned a thing or two from Mister Skeeve and his friends."
"Any more objections?" Bunny asked Aahz.
"Nope," Aahz said with resignation. "If I don't lose out on anything. I don't care what kind of shenanigans you have to go through to get what you want."
"We'll have to make it dramatic," Tananda said. "Chumley and I staged a fake assassination once. It was great!"
"Indeed," Chumley said. "Owing chiefly to the skill of the dramatis personae, myself included, I might humbly add."
"Oh, that sounds like it will be fun?" Hermalaya said.
"It was," Tananda said. "Have you ever done any skits?"
"Sometimes my ladies and I act out scenes from books," Hermalaya admitted. "But this sounds like it is much more interesting?"
"At least you won't have stage fright," Guido said. "That is the ailment that has caused more than one person of talent to have to forgo a public career in spite of talent."
"Oh, I'm used to public speaking," the princess said, starting to become enthusiastic about the prospect.
Aahz seemed to be getting into the spirit. "Do we have to feed you lines, or can you memorize a script?"
"Sir," Hermalaya said, pretending to be indignant, "I have to make an hour-long speech every year on the anniversary of my ascension? Of course I can remember lines."
"In that, I am afraid I am your weak link," Matfany said. "I am a good public servant, but I am no actor. I do not dissemble."
"In other words, what you see is what you get?" Massha asked.
"What if we act around him?" Tananda asked, eyeing the prime minister with dismay.
"Don't worry," Aahz said, throwing an arm around my shoulders. "We'll take care of that. He doesn't have to do a thing. I have it all worked out."
THIRTY-SEVEN
"One little piece of cake won't kill me."
"I still don't see why I have to be the bad guy," I grumbled. "He was your client."
"We're working together now," Aahz said. "This is for the common good of Foxe-Swampburg. How's the advance publicity going?"
Massha gave us a wicked grin.
"I started rumors in at least sixty bookstores that Hermalaya was going to defy the evil prime minister and turn up in Foxe-Swampburg tomorrow afternoon. If the response I got was any indication, then thousands of people are going to show up just to see if it's true."
"Great," Aahz said. "The more the merrier. I want the place packed. I made a deal with the Geek and a few of our sponsors to sell souvenirs just outside the castle gates. It's a small way of making up for taking down all their bill-boards."
"Is anyone selling copies of The Princess's Diary?" Bunny asked. "I hate for Hermalaya to miss out on the best-motivated crowd she's ever going to get."
"Special order from the printer," Aahz said. "The Paper Wasps promised they'd churn out a thousand copies by dawn tomorrow, or they'd have to eat them. What about security? I don't want any trigger-happy yahoo thinking he can pick up a bounty from Matfany on the princess, or vice versa."
Guido lifted a finger. "We're set. I lined up some of our friends to act as on-the-ground security inside and outside the castle. Pookie's in charge of the force in the building and overhead. Gus has a day off from the Golden Crescent, so I put him in as group captain in the courtyard."'
"Great," I said. "I was hoping to throw some work his way."
"How's our star doing?" Aahz asked, checking off one more item from his list.
"Letter-perfect," Nunzio said. "She knows the script better than I do. She's started correcting me when I read something wrong. What a lady! She's no more nervous than a statue. She is ready to go."
So was I. We had spent the last few days working on this plan. Aahz had pretty much taken over, as I figured he would, leaving me with nothing much to do. I didn't know if he was doing it on purpose, or if the group was just used to working without me as it had been for months. I was losing hope that I could find a way to be relevant to the company as it had grown up. Everybody was being nice to me, but it wasn't the same as involving me.
Still, I played an important role in the event itself. My job was to maintain all the magik we needed for our subterfuge, including disguises. I was eager to prove once and for all to my friends that I was the person they wanted to work for again.
We sneaked into Foxe-Swampburg early the next morning. I couldn't have asked for better weather. According to
Hermalaya. it was the beginning of spring. If there was birdsong, I couldn't hear it over the buzz of excited visitors. The courtyard was packed with people, mostly Swamp Foxes, but lots and lots of tourists of all races. I couldn't have been more delighted.