"Don't bet on it, handsome," she corrected, winking at me.
I blushed but continued with my argument. "I still say the job's too big for one person, or three people for that matter," I insisted.
"You're right, kid," Aahz said solemnly.
"We just can't... what did you say, Aahz?"
"I said you were right," Aahz repeated.
"I thought so," I marveled. "I just wanted to hear it again."
"You'd hear it more often if you were right more often," Aahz pointed out.
"C'mon, Aahz," Tanda interrupted. "What's the plan?"
"Like the kid says," Aahz said loftily, "we need more help. We need an army of our own."
"But Aahz," I reminded him, "Badaxe said-"
"Who said anything about Badaxe?" Aahz replied innocently. "We're supposed to win this war with magik, aren't we? Well, fine. With Tanda on our team, we've got a couple of extra skills to draw on. Remember?"
I remembered. I remembered Aahz saying he wasn't worried about Tanda leaving with Isstvan because she could travel the dimensions by herself if things got rough. The light began to dawn.
"You mean..."
"That's right, kid," Aahz smiled. "We're going back to Deva. We're going to recruit a little invasionary force of our own!"
Chapter Twelve:
"This is no game for old men! Send in the boys!"
-W. HAYS
I DON'T know how Tanda transported us from Klah to Deva. If I did, we wouldn't have needed her. All I know is that at the appropriate time she commenced to chant and shift her shoulders (a fascinating process in itself), and we were there.
"There," in this case, was at the Bazaar at Deva. That phrase alone, however, does not begin to describe our new surroundings as they came into focus.
A long time ago, the dimension of Deva had undergone an economic collapse. To survive, the Deveels (who I once knew as devils) used their ability to travel the dimensions and become merchants. Through the process of natural selection, the most successful Deveels were not the best fighters, but the best traders. Now, after countless generations of this process, the Deveels were acknowledged as the best merchants in all the dimensions. They were also acknowledged as being the shrewdest, coldest, most profit-hungry cheats ever to come down the pike.
The Bazaar at Deva was their showcase. It was an all-day, all-night, year-round fair where the Deveels met to haggle with each other over the wares fetched back from the various dimensions. Though it was originally established and maintained by Deveels, it was not unusual to find travelers from many dimensions shopping the endless rows of displays and booths. The rule of thumb was, "If it's to be found anywhere, you'll find it at the Bazaar at Deva."
I had been here once before with Aahz. At the time, we were searching for a surprise weapon to use against Isstvan. What we ended up with was Gleep and Tanda!... Distractions abound at the Bazaar.
I mention this in part to explain why, as unusual as our foursome must have appeared, no one paid us the slightest attention as we stood watching the kaleidoscope of activity whirling about us.
Gleep pressed against me for reassurance, momentarily taken aback at the sudden change of surroundings. I ignored him. My first visit to this place had been far too brief for my satisfaction. As such, I was rubbernecking madly, trying to see as much as possible as fast as possible.
Tanda was more businesslike. "Now that we're here, Aahz," she drawled, "do you know where we're going?"
"No," Aahz admitted. "But I'll find out right now."
Without further warning, he casually reached out and grabbed the arm of the nearest passerby, a short, ugly fellow with tusks. Spinning his chosen victim around, Aahz bent to scowl in his face.
"You!" he snarled. "Do you like to fight?"
For a moment my heart stopped. All we needed now was to get into a brawl.
Fortunately, instead of producing a weapon, the tusker gave ground a step and eyed our party suspiciously.
"Not with a Pervert backed by a dragon, I don't," he retorted cautiously.
"Good!" Aahz smiled. "Then if you wanted to hire someone to do your fighting for you, where would you go?"
"To the Bazaar at Deva," the tusker shrugged.
"I know that!" Aahz snarled. "But where at the Bazaar?"
"Oh," the tusker exclaimed with sudden understanding. "About twenty rows in that direction, then turn right for another thirty or so. That's where the mercenaries hang out."
"Twenty, then up thirty," Aahz repeated carefully. "Thanks."
"A finder's fee would be appreciated more than any thanks," the tusker smiled, extending a palm.
"You're right!" Aahz agreed, and turned his back on our benefactor.
The tusker hesitated for a moment, then shrugged and continued on his way. I could have told him that Perverts in general and Aahz specifically are not noted for their generosity. "We go twenty rows that way, then up thirty," Aahz informed us.
"Yeah, we heard," Tanda grimaced. "Why didn't you just ask him flat out?"
"My way is quicker," Aahz replied smugly.
"Is it?" I asked skeptically.
"Look kid," Aahz scowled. "Do you want to lead us through this zoo?"
"Well. .."I hesitated.
"Then shut up and let me do it, okay?"
Actually, I was more than willing to let Aahz lead the way to wherever it was we were going. For one thing, it kept him busy navigating a path through the crowd. For another, it left me with next to nothing to do except marvel at the sights of the Bazaar as I followed along in his wake.
Try as I might, though, there was just too much for one set of eyes to see.
In one booth, two Deveels argued with an elephant-headed being over a skull; at least, I think it was a skull. In another, a Deveel was putting on a demonstration for a mixed group of shoppers, summoning clouds of floating green bubbles from a tiny wooden box.
At one point, our path was all but blocked by a booth selling rings which shot bolts of lightning. Between the salesman's demonstrations and the customers trying out their purchases, the way was virtually impassable.
Aahz and Tanda never broke stride, however, confidently maintaining their pace as they walked through the thick of the bolts. Miraculously, they passed through unscathed.
Gritting my teeth, I seized one of Gleep's ears and followed in their footsteps. Again, the bolts of energy failed to find us. Apparently no Deveel would bring injury or allow anyone in his shop to bring injury to a potential customer. It was a handy fact to know.
The lightning rings brought something else to mind, however. The last time we parted company with Tanda, Aahz had given her a ring that shot a heat ray capable of frying a man-sized target on the spot. That's right ... I said he gave it to her. You might think this was proof of the depth of his feelings for her. It's my theory he was sick. Anyway, I was reminded of the ring and curious as to what had become of it.
Increasing my pace slightly, I closed the distance between myself and the pair in the lead, only to find they were already deeply engrossed in conversation. The din that prevails at the Bazaar stymies any attempt at serious eavesdropping, but I managed to catch occasional bits and pieces of the conversation as we walked.
"... heard... awfully expensive, aren't they?" Tanda was saying.
"... lick their weight in..." Aahz replied smugly.
I moved in a little closer, trying to hear better.
"... makes you think they've got anyone here?" Tanda asked.
"With the number of bars here?" Aahz retorted. "The way I hear it, this is one of their main ..."
I lost the rest of that argument. A knee-high, tentacled mass suddenly scuttled across my boots and ducked through a tent flap, closely pursued by two very frustrated-looking Deveels.