"Skeeve!" the king called suddenly, interrupting his advisor's arguments. "That thing you did with the pike. Can you always control weapons so easily?"
"Child's play. Your Majesty," I said modestly. "I hesitate to even acknowledge it as a power."
The king nodded and spoke briefly to his advisors in undertones. When he had finished, the general flushed and, turning on his heel, strode off into the palace. The chancellor looked smug.
I risked a glance at Aahz, who winked at me. Even though he was further away, apparently his acute hearing had given him advance notice of the king's decision.
"Let all here assembled bear witness!" the chancellor's ringing voice announced. "Rodrick the Fifth, King of Possiltum, does hereby commend the magical skill and knowledge of one Skeeve and does formally name him Magician to the Court of Possiltum. Let all applaud the appointment of this master magician ... and then disperse!"
There was a smattering of halfhearted applause from my vanquished rivals, and more than a few glares. I acknowledged neither as I tried to comprehend the chancellor's words.
I did it! Court Magician! Of the entire selection of magicians from five kingdoms, I had been chosen! Me! Skeeve!
I was suddenly aware of the chancellor beckoning me forward. Trying to be nonchalant, I approached the throne.
"Lord Magician," the chancellor said with a smile. "If you will, might we discuss the matter of your wages?"
"My apprentice handles such matters," I informed him loftily. "I prefer not to distract myself with such mundane matters."
Again, we had agreed that Aahz would handle the wage negotiations, his knowledge of magik being surpassed only by his skill at haggling. I turned and beckoned to him. He responded by hurrying forward, his eavesdropping having forewarned him of the situation.
"That can wait, Grimble," the king interrupted. "There are more pressing matters which command our magician's attention."
"You need only command, Your Majesty," I said, bowing grandly.
"Fine," the king beamed. "Then report to General Badaxe immediately for your briefing."
"Briefing about what?" I asked, genuinely puzzled.
"Why, your briefing about the invading army, of course," the king replied.
An alarm gong went off in the back of my mind.
"Invading army?" I blurted, forgetting my rehearsed pompous tones. "What invading army?"
"The one which even now approaches our borders," the chancellor supplied. "Why else would we suddenly need a magician?"
Chapter Seven:
"Numerical superiority is of no consequence. In battle, victory will go to the best tactician."
-G. A. CUSTER
"CUSHY job, he said! Chance to practice, he said! Piece of cake, he said!"
"Simmer down, kid!" Aahz growled.
"Simmer down? Aahz, weren't you listening? I'm supposed to stop an army! Me!"
"It could be worse," Aahz insisted.
"How? "I asked bluntly.
"You could be doing it without me," he replied. "Think about it."
I did, and cooled down immediately. Even though my association with Aahz seemed to land me in an inordinate amount of trouble, he had also been unfailing in his ability to get me out ... so far. The last thing I wanted to do was drive him away just when I needed him the most.
"What am I going to do, Aahz?" I moaned.
"Since you ask"-Aahz smiled-"my advice would be to not panic until we get the whole story. Remember, there are armies and there are armies. For all we know, this one might be weak enough for us to beat fair and square."
"And if it isn't?" I asked skeptically.
"We'll burn that bridge when we come to it," Aahz sighed. "First, let's hear what old Badaxe has to say."
Not being able to think of anything to say in reply to that, I didn't. Instead, I kept pace with my mentor in gloomy silence as we followed the chancellor's directions through the corridors of the palace.
It would have been easier to accept the offered guide to lead us to our destination, but I had been more than a little eager to speak with Aahz privately. Consequently, we had left Buttercup and Gleep in the courtyard with our equipment and were seeking out the general's chambers on our own.
The palace was honeycombed with corridors to the point where I wondered if there weren't more corridors than rooms. Our trek was made even more difficult by the light, or lack thereof. Though there were numerous mountings for torches set in the walls, it seemed only about one out of every four was being used, and the light shed by those torches was less than adequate for accurate navigation of the labyrinth.
I commented on this to Aahz as further proof of the tightfisted nature of the kingdom. His curt response was that the more money they saved on overhead and maintenance, the more they would have to splurge on luxuries ... like us.
He was doggedly trying to explain the concept of an "energy crisis" to me, when we rounded a corner and sighted the general's quarters.
They were fairly easy to distinguish, since this was the only door we had encountered which was bracketed by a pair of matching honor guards. Their polished armor gleamed from broad shoulders as they observed our approach through narrowed eyes.
"Are these the quarters of General Badaxe?" I inquired politely.
"Are you the magician called Skeeve?" the guard challenged back.
"The kid asked you a question, soldier!" Aahz interceded. "Now are you going to answer or are you so dumb you don't know what's on the other side of the door you're guarding?"
The guard flushed bright red, and I noticed his partner's knuckles whitening on the pike he was gripping. It occurred to me that now that I had landed the magician's job, it might not be the wisest course to continue antagonizing the military.
"Um, Aahz ..." I murmured.
"Yes! These are the quarters of General Badaxe ... sir!" the guard barked suddenly.
Apparently the mention of my colleague's name had confirmed my identity, though I wondered how many strangers could be wandering the halls accompanied by large scaly demons. The final, painful, "sir" was a tribute to my performance in the courtyard. Apparently the guards had been instructed to be polite, at least to me, no matter how much it hurt ....hich it obviously did.
"Thank you, guard," I said loftily, and hammered on the door with my fist.
"Further," the guard observed, "the general left word that you were to go right in."
The fact that he had withheld that bit of information until after I had knocked indicated that the guards hadn't completely abandoned their low regard for magicians. They were simply finding more subtle ways of being annoying.
I realized Aahz was getting ready to start a new round with the guard, so I hastily opened the door and entered, forcing him to follow.
The general was standing at the window, silhouetted by the light streaming in from outside. As we entered, he turned to face us.
"Ah! Come in, gentlemen," he boomed in a mellow tone. "I've been expecting you. Do make yourselves comfortable. Help yourselves to the wine if you wish."
I found his sudden display of friendliness even more disquieting than his earlier show of hostility. Aahz, however, took it all in stride, immediately taking up the indicated jug of wine. For a moment I thought he was going to pour a bit of it into one of the goblets which shared the tray with the jug and pass it to me. Instead, he took a deep drink directly from the jug and kept it, licking his lips in appreciation. In the midst of the chaos my life had suddenly become, it was nice to know some things remained constant.
The general frowned at the display for a moment, then forced his features back into the jovial expression he had first greeted us with.
"Before we begin the briefing," he smiled, "I must apologize for my rude behavior during the interview. Grimble and I have... differed in our opinions on the existing situation, and I'm afraid I took it out on you. For that I extend my regrets. Ordinarily, I would have nothing against magicians as a group, or you specifically."