"It was right there on the stall's placard," Aahz grinned. "Sure gave him a turn, though, didn't I? There's nothing a Deveel hates as much as losing a potential customer... except for giving a refund."
As much as I care for Aahz and appreciate the guidance he's given me, he can be a bit stomach turning when he starts gloating.
"We're still out in the rain," I pointed out.
"Ah, but now we know where we're going."
"We do?"
Aahz groaned, swerving to avoid a little old lady who was squatting in the middle of the thoroughfare chortling over a cauldron. As we passed, a large hairy paw emerged from the cauldron's depth, but the lady whacked it with her wooden spoon and it retreated out of sight. Aahz ignored the entire proceedings.
"Look, kid," he explained, "we're looking for two things here. First, we need to recruit some players for our team."
"How can we recruit for the team when we don't know the first thing about the game?" I interrupted.
"Second," my mentor continued tersely, "we have to find someone who can fill us in on the details of the game."
"Oh."
Properly mollified, I plodded along beside him in silence for several moments, sneaking covert glances at the displays we were passing. Then something occurred to me.
"Say ... ummmm, Aahz?"
"Yeah, kid?"
"You never answered my question. Where are we going?"
"To the Yellow Crescent Inn."
"The Yellow Crescent Inn?" I echoed, brightening slightly. "Are we going to see Gus?"
"That's right," Aahz grinned. "Gus is a heavy bettor. He should be able to put us in touch with a reliable bookie. Besides he owes us a favor. Maybe we can get him for the team."
"Good," I said, and meant it.
Gus is a gargoyle. He was part of the crew we used to stop Big Julie's army and I trust him as much as I do Aahz ....aybe a little more. Anyone who's used the expression "heart of stone" to mean insensitive has never met Gus. I assume his heart is stone, the rest of him is, but he's one of the warmest, most sympathetic beings I've ever met. He's also without a doubt the stablest being that I've met through Aahz. If Gus joined our team, I'd worry a lot less... well, a little less. Then again, he might be too sensible to get involved in this madcap scheme. And as for the bookies...
"Hey, Aahz," I blinked. "What do we need a bookie for?"
"To brief us on the game, of course."
"A bookie from Deva is going to tell us how to play the game in Jahk?"
"It's the best we can do," Aahz shrugged. "You heard Griffin. Nobody in Jahk will give us the time of day, much less help us put a team together. Cheer up, though. Bookies are very knowledgeable in spectator sports, and the ones here in Deva are the best."
I pondered this for several moments, then decided to ask the question that had been bothering me since the meeting.
"Aahz? When you issued the challenge, did you really expect to play the game?"
My mentor stopped dead in his tracks and whirled to face me.
"Do you think I'd issue a challenge without intending to fight?" he demanded. "Do you think I'm a big-mouthed bluffer who'd rather talk his way out of trouble than fight?"
"It had crossed my mind," I admitted.
"Well, you're right," he grinned, resuming his stride. "You're learning pretty fast-for a Klahd. No, I really thought they'd back down when we dropped our disguises. That and I didn't think Quigley would see through the ploy and call our hand."
"He's learning fast, too," I commented. "I'm afraid he could become a real problem."
"Not a chance," my mentor snorted. "You've got him beat cold in the magik department."
"Except I've promised not to move against him," I observed glumly.
"Don't let it get you down," Aahz insisted, draping an arm around my shoulders. "We've both made some stupid calls on this one. All we can do is play the cards we're dealt."
"Bite the bullet, eh?" I grimaced.
"That's right. Say, you really are learning quick." I still didn't know what a bullet was, but I was picking up some of Aahz's pet phrases. At least now I could give the illusion of intelligence.
The Yellow Crescent Inn was in sight now. I expected Aahz to quicken his pace ... I mean, it was raining. Instead, however, my mentor slowed slightly, peering at a mixed group of beings huddled under a tent-flap.
"Hel-lo!" he exclaimed. "What have we here?"
"It looks like a mixed group of beings huddled under a tent-flap," I observed dryly, or as dryly as I could manage while dripping wet.
"It's a crap game," Aahz declared. "I can hear the dice."
Trust a Pervect to hear the sound of dice on mud at a hundred paces.
"So?" I urged.
"So I think we've found our bookie. The tall fellow, there-at the back of the crowd. I've dealt with him before."
"Are we going to talk to him now?" I asked eagerly.
"Not ‘we,' " Aahz corrected me. "Me. You get in enough trouble in clean-cut crowds without my taking you into a crap game. You're going to wait for me in the Inn. Gus should be able to keep an eye on you."
"Oh, all right."
I was disappointed, but willing to get out of the rain.
"And don't stop to talk to anyone between here and there. Do you hear me?"
"Yes, Aahz," I nodded, starting off at a trot.
"And whatever you do, don't eat the food!"
"Are you kidding?" I laughed. "I've been here before."
The food at the Yellow Crescent Inn is dubious at best. Even after dimension hopping with Tananda and seeing what was accepted as food elsewhere, I wouldn't put anything from that place in my mouth voluntarily.
As I approached, I could see through the door that the place was empty. This surprised me. I mean, from my prior experience, there was usually a good-sized crowd in there, and I would have expected the rain to increase the number of loiterers.
Gus wasn't in sight, either; but the door was open, so I pushed my way in, relieved to be somewhere dry again. I shouldn't have been.
No sooner had I gained entry when something like a large hand closed over the top of my head and I was hoisted bodily from my feet.
"Little person!" a booming voice declared. "Crunch likes little persons. Crunch likes little persons better than Big Macs. How do you taste, little person?"
With this last, I was rotated until I was hanging face to face with my assailant. In this case, I use the term "face" loosely. It had felt like I was being picked up by a big hand because I was being picked up by a big hand. At the other end of the big hand was the first and only troll it had been my misfortune to meet... and he looked hungry.
Chapter Nineteen:
"Why should I have to pay a troll just to cross a bridge?"
-B. G. GRUFF
WHILE I had never seen a troll before, I knew that this was one. I mean, he fit the description: tall, scraggly hair in patches, long rubbery limbs, misshapen face with runny eyes of unequal size. If it wasn't a troll, it would do until something better-or worse-came along.
I should have been scared, but strangely I wasn't. For some time now I had been ducking and weaving through some tight situations trying to avoid trouble. Now, Big Ugly here wanted to hassle me. This time, I wasn't buying.
"Why little person not answer Crunch?" the troll demanded, shaking me slightly.
"You want an answer?" I snarled. "Try this!"
Levitation is one of my oldest spells, and I used it now. Reaching out with my mind, I picked up a chair and slammed it into his face.
He didn't even blink.
Then I got scared.
"What's going on out here?!" Gus bellowed, charging out of the kitchen. "Any fights, and I'll... Skeeve!!"