"Good," Aahz said. "Land those fighting fish on the ground. Badaxe's people on Camel-back can handle them once they hit the sand. Unless they sink. Which wouldn't make me cry at all."
"Look, Aahz," Guido said, "fightin's not the first solution."
"What? Diplomacy? And listen to him lie to us again?" Aahz snarled. Guido subsided, shaking his head. Aahz in full flame was more terrifying than a dragon.
"I must concur," Chumley said, holding up a purple forefinger. "Did he actually lie to you? And who caused him to call for his guards? Anyone would react to a forceful approach."
"Chumley! I thought you were on my side!" Aahz said.
"I am, old chap. I am on the side of the truth, which could be a more potent weapon against Diksen's resistance than any of muscle, steel, or magik."
"The truth?" Aahz echoed. "The truth is that I am going to get even with Diksen. His secretary said he couldn't help, even after I went back and told her what happened. What he did ..." His voice trailed off. "I don't care what happens. I want that guy's ball crushed!"
I had to get in there. I tried pushing past the Sphinx, but he might as well have been made of stone. I clambered up on his flanks.
"Sorry," I said, as Tweety turned to give me a look of outrage that swiftly turned to one of astonishment and delight.
"Skeeve!" he said. He let me slide down his forepaw.
Massha spotted me. She gawked and poked General Badaxe. He was intent on Aahz and didn't notice.
Samwise was jammed into a spot between Tweety and a bench on which Guido and Nunzio sat with their arms folded. I slid into him when I clambered down the Sphinx's shoulder to the floor.
"Skeeve!" he exclaimed, grabbing my hand and pumping
it.
"Skeeve," Aahz said, rounding on Samwise. "Who did you think we were talking about all this time? I want revenge! That guy's gonna pay.
"Aahz," I said, waving a hand for his attention. "Aahz!"
"What?"
He turned to confront me, and his yellow-veined eyes widened.
"I'm okay," I said.
Chapter 22
"Diplomacy is the practice of saying 'nice doggie' until you can find a rock."
In short order, I suffered a big hug from Chumley and stifling embraces from the general, from all the office girls, and some of the construction staff. Massha and Markie enveloped me in a solid group hug, Massha like an all-over massage with a fluffy pillow, and Markie a tourniquet around the knees. "Are you okay?" Massha asked.
"I'm fine," I assured her. "I just took a little trip I wasn't expecting."
Massha threw her big arms around me again. "Don't ever scare me like that! I think I lost eighty pounds!"
Guido and Nunzio pumped my hand until I thought it was going to fall off in spite of the bandages. Everybody in the whole And Company building came to slap my back, embrace me, or shake hands. Everyone, that is, except Aahz. When everybody else finished welcoming me home, I looked at Aahz and spread out my hands sheepishly.
Aahz looked me up and down and glared. "How badly hurt are you?" he asked.
"I'm not hurt," I said. "I got a little bruised falling down through the sand, but I think that was from hitting some of the rocks hidden in the slowsands. The currents are really strong. But Lower Aegis is great. You'd like it down there."
Aahz pursed his lips. "If you're not hurt, then what are all those bandages for?"
"Oh!" I said, looking down at my attire. "These are for warmth. It's cold in Necropolis. Pretty nice, huh?"
"Dandy," Aahz said, in a peevish voice. "You couldn't have gotten a message to me? Not one crummy note to let me know that you were alive? So I didn't worry myself into a complete frenzy and make a fool of myself in front of everyone I knew?"
"That is my fault," said the king, raising his hand from his spot in the hallway. He was so tall he could be
seen over the head of the Sphinx. Tweety backed out so that the king could make his way into the crowded conference room. The servants with fans scrambled in behind him and started to flap their palm fronds over their master's head.
"Who are you?" Aahz demanded. His head reached the middle of the king's prominent breastbone. The king looked down at him with his shiny black eyes.
"I am See-Ker, lord of Lower Aegis. I confess that I had everybody who could have taken a message to you engaged upon festivities to celebrate our recovery of your friend. He is a fine fellow. We of Lower Aegis are proud to know him." He nodded to Chumley, who bowed back. "I am glad to see you, wise Lord Wat-Is-Et."
"As I you, O See-Ker, sailor of the Lunar Boat. I am sorry to have missed you in your lovely realm."
"Fine," Aahz said, waving his hand in dismissal. "Now, if the mutual admiration society is done with its meeting, I've got an invasion to plan!"
"But I'm safe!" I protested. "You don't have to go attack Diksen now!"
"Sure I do," Aahz said, scowling. "The bum put a curse on my construction project. He is costing me a fortune every single day it's in force!"
"Turns on a silver coin," Badaxe said, shaking his head. "Aahz, it's not necessary."
"No, indeed," See-Ker said. "I will intervene with Diksen for you."
"You?" Aahz asked, looking the king up and down. "Thanks a heap for giving my partner a lift home, and goodbye. No offense, skinny, but you're butting into a situation that's none of your business."
See-Ker was more amused than insulted by Aahz's attitude.
"You are wrong when you say it is none of my business," he said. "First, your partner is now a friend of my nation. Second, it is the concern of all intelligent beings to avoid unnecessary harm to one another. Third, Diksen's family comes from Lower Aegis, so it may be said that he is as much my subject as that of her majesty, the Pharaoh Suzal. I can tell you what I know of his plans and aspirations."
The third reason made Aahz perk up his ears.
"Okay," he said grudgingly. "Have a seat, majesty. Tell me what you know." Guido and Nunzio hastily vacated their bench for SeeKer. The slender king took up less than a third of it widthwise than they had.
"What could he possibly tell you that I couldn't tell you, Aahz?" Samwise wheedled, as the king's minions took their place behind him with fans and at his feet with a tray holding a pitcher and golden goblet. He blocked Aahz's path. "Don't listen to this guy. I'm the one who used to work for him."
"And you said, you don't know anything." Aahz moved him to one side. "I want to hear it from a different source."
"But Aahz!" Samwise interposed himself again.
Aahz looked him in the eye. "Are you telling me there's something you don't want him to tell me? Are you keeping secrets?"
"What, like you don't have any magikal powers anymore?" Samwise sneered.
A low gasp echoed around the room. I started forward to prevent Aahz from ripping Samwise's head off for the insult. Instead Aahz folded his arms. I stood back, impressed. Aahz didn't even raise his voice.
"I brought you a competent magician, didn't I? Did you lose a single coin from me? No! I brought you more business. You've had my expertise and my advice, which is what you asked for. Do you want more than that?"
Samwise sighed. "No, I guess not." He sat down on a chair and put his head in his hands.
"Okay, your Majesty," Aahz said. "Give. What's eating Diksen?"
"He has an artist's soul," See-Ker said. "He is sensitive by nature."
"Yeah, I could just tell that by the way he threw us out of his office," Aahz said. "I'm beginning to figure out what went wrong here. What evidence can you add?"