I stared thoughtfully at the beast.
"I was just wondering if it could hear me… say, if I said that I thought it was the ugliest building decoration I've seen here in town?"
The dragon's head rewarded me by narrowing its eyes into an evil glare.
"I think it can hear you, Boss," Guido said, shifting his grip nervously. "It doesn't look like it liked that last comment."
"Oh, swell!" Aahz grumbled. "Tell you what, partner. Why don't you come in here and sit on this thing's tongue instead of me before you start getting it all riled Up?"
"I was just checking." I smiled. "To tell the truth, I think it's the most incredible thing I've seen since I started traveling the dimensions. I just said that other to test its reactions."
The dragon stopped glaring, but it still looked a little bit suspicious and wary.
"Well, find some other reaction to test, okay?" my partner snapped. "For some obscure reason, I'm a little nervous these days, and every time this thing moves its tongue I age a few centuries."
I ignored his grumbling and shook one of my legs.
"Hey, Guido! Are you still paying attention down there?"
His grip tightened fiercely.
"Of course I'm paying attention, you little… I mean, yeah, Boss. There's not much else to do while we're hangin'. here, know what I mean? And quit jerking your leg around… please?"
I found his verbal slip rather interesting, but now wasn't the time to investigate further.
"Well, listen up," I said. "Here's what I want you to do. I want you to let go with one hand and pass the rope up to me…"
"No way, Boss! Have you seen how far down it is? I'm not lettin' go no matter what you…"
"… because if you don't," I continued as if he hadn't interrupted, "I'm going to start squirming around until either you lose your grip with both hands or Massha loses her grip on me. Whichever way it goes, you'll fall. Get my drift? Now for once could you just follow orders without a lot of back-talk? We don't have much time to pull this off."
There was a stricken silence below as Guido absorbed my ultimatum and weighed the possibilities.
"Pull what off?" Aahz demanded. "Why doesn't anybody tell me anything? If this master plan of yours is riding on that sorry excuse for a bodyguard, you might as well give up right now. I've told you all along that he was too lily-livered to be any good at…"
"Who's lily-livered?!" Guido shouted. "Look, Big Mouth, as soon as we get you out of there, you and me are going to settle this once and…"
"First, we've got to get him out, Guido," I interrupted. "The rope."
"Right, Boss. One rope coming up. We'll see who's lily-livered. The last person who called me that was my mom, and by the time I got done with her…"
Our whole formation began to rock dangerously as he fumbled through his coat one-handed in search of the rope. For a minute, I was afraid he was mad enough to let go with both hands to speed his search.
"Easy there, Guido," I cautioned. "We can…"
"Here it is, Boss!" he said, flipping the rope up so violently that it almost whacked me in the face. "I hope you can use it to hang the son of a…"
"Hanging isn't enough!" Aahz taunted. "It takes more than a piece of rope to do me in."
"Yeah. It takes a little girl with blue eyes and a spiked drink," my bodyguard sneered back. "If you think I'm going to let you live that one down…"
I forced myself to ignore them. While it was tempting to rally to Luanna's defense, there were other more pressing matters to attend to.
Moving as carefully as I could, I looped one end of the rope up and around Massha's waist. It took a couple of tries and a lot more rope than I would have liked, but finally I managed to catch the dangling end and tie it off securely.
"What's with the rope, Hot Stuff?" Massha said calmly, the only one of our group who had managed to keep her cool through the entire proceedings.
"Well, with any luck, in a little while we're going to be heading down… with Aahz," I explained. "Even though I know you're strong, I don't think your hands are strong enough to keep a grip on all three of us while we make the trip. This is to be sure we don't lose anyone after we spring the cell."
"Speaking of that," Aahz called, "I'm still waiting to hear how you're going to get me out of this thing. You might even say I'm dying to find out."
He wasn't the only one. The dragon's head was watching my every movement through slitted eyes. I'm not sure how much pride it took in its job, but it was obvious the beast wasn't getting ready to overwhelm us with its cooperation.
Everything was as ready as I could make it, so I decided it was time to play my trump card.
"There's nothing to it, really," I told my partner with a smile. "Talk to me."
It isn't often I catch my old mentor totally by surprise… I get him upset on a fairly regular basis, but total surprise was a real rarity. This was one of those golden times.
"Say WHAT?" Aahz exclaimed loudly.
"Trust me, Aahz," I insisted. "I know what I'm doing. Just talk to me. Tell me a story. How did you first meet Garkin?"
"Oh, that," he said, rolling his eyes expressively. "Well, we were at the same boring cocktail party, see… you know, one of those dreary affairs where the crowd has you pinned against the wall and you get stuck talking to whatever the tide washes up against you? Anyway, he was trying to impress some little bit of fluff with his magic, which really wasn't all that hot in those days… let me tell you, partner, anytime you start getting depressed with your lack of progress in the magic business, remind me to tell you what your old teacher Garkin was like when we first met. But, as I was saying, out of respect for the craft, I just had to wander over and show them what the real stuff looked like… not that I had any interest in her myself, mind you…"
I felt Guido tugging on my pantleg.
"Say, Boss," he complained. "What is this? I thought we were in a hurry."
"This is what we needed the time for," I whispered back.
"For this he grumbled. "But Boss, if we don't get started…"
"We're started," I answered. "Now pay attention to what he's saying."
I was afraid our side comments might have distracted Aahz, but I needn't have worried. As per normal, once my partner got on a verbal roll, he wasn't that easy to stop.
"…so there we were, just the three of us, mind you, and remember, our clothes were five floors away at this point…"
"What's going on, Hot Stuff?" Massha hissed from her position above me. "I know you've heard this story before. Heck, I've heard it four times myself."
"Keep your eye on the dragon," I advised her. "And be ready to act fast."
I was going through the motions of reacting to Aahz's story and fielding the impatient questions of my assistants as best I could, but my real attention was focused on the dragon's head. My strategy was already working. Aahz's droning account of past glories was starting to take effect.
The dragon's eyes were definitely starting to glaze.
"…of course, after all that, I just had to take her home with me. It was the least I could do for the poor thing under the circumstances."
Aahz was winding up his story already! I had to keep him going just a little bit longer.
"Was that the party where you met Tananda?" I said, deliberately feeding him another cue.
"Tananda? No. That's another story completely. I met her when I was sitting in on a cut-throat game of dragon poker over at the Geek's. We had a real pigeon on the line, the kind of idiot who would bet a busted Corp's a' Corp's into a Unicorn Flush showing, you know? Well, I was a little low on funds just then, Guido was getting restless again. "Boss, how much longer are we gonna…"