"Now that I'll agree with," Tananda nodded. "Trust a man to find a drab mu-mu. Tell you what. There's a scarf I was going to use for a belt, but maybe you could wear it around your neck."
I was afraid that last crack would touch off another explosion, but Massha took it as a helpful suggestion and the two of them went off in search of other possible adornments.
"Got a minute, partner?"
From the tone of Aahz's voice, I knew the moment I had been dreading had arrived.
Chumley didn't have to worry about a disguise at all, as trolls were not uncommon in this dimension. Tananda also insisted that she looked enough like a vampire to pass with only minimal modifications. I hadn't seen any vampires with green hair, but she claimed that she had, so, as always, I yielded to her greater experience in these matters. I was also on the "minimal disguise" list, everyone agreeing that no one in Blut had gotten enough of a look at me to fix the image in their mind. While I wasn't wild about being so unmemorable, I went along with it… especially when I saw what Guido and Massha were going through. The problems with those two notables have already been mentioned troublesome, but not insurmountable. Then there was Aahz…
"Is there something wrong?" I asked innocently.
"You bet your dragon there's something wrong!" my partner snarled. "And don't try to play innocent with me! It didn't work when you were my apprentice, and it sure isn't going to work now."
Aahz's disguise had presented us with some knotty problems. Not only was he the most wanted member of our party, he was also easily the most distinctive. After the trial and his time in jail, it was doubtful that there was a single citizen of Blut who wouldn't recognize him on sight. I mean, there just aren't that many scaly green demons wandering around any dimension… except possibly his home dimension of Perv. It was therefore decided… almost unanimously… that not only would we change my partner's color with make-up, but that it would also be necessary to change his sex.
"Does this, perchance, have something to do with your disguise?" I inquired, trying to keep a straight face.
"Yes, it has something to do with my disguise," he mimicked, "and, so help me, partner or no, if you let that smile get away, I'll punch your lights out. Understand?" With a great effort I sucked my cheeks in and bit my lower lip.
"Seriously, though," he said, almost pleading, "a joke's a joke, but you don't really expect me to go out in public looking like this, do you?"
In addition to the aforementioned make-up, Aahz's disguise required a dress and a wig. Because of the size of his head (a problem Vilhelm had wisely down-played as much as possible) the selection of wigs available had been understandably small. In fact, the only available in his size was a number called "Lady Go-GoDiva," which involved a high blonde beehive style offset by a long ponytail that hung down to his knees. Actually, the ponytail turned out to be a blessing in disguise, as the dark blue dress Vilhelm had selected for my partner turned out to have an exceptionally low neckline, and the hair draped over his shoulder helped hide the problem we had finding ample or suitable material to stuff his bosom with.
"As my wise old mentor once told me when I was faced with a similar dilemma," I said sagely, "what does it matter what people think of you? They aren't supposed to know it's you, anyway. That's the whole idea of a disguise."
"But this get-up is humiliating!"
"My words precisely when someone else I could name deemed it necessary for me to dress up as a girl, remember?"
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Aahz glowered, peering at me suspiciously.
"Well, there are a couple of other options," I admitted.
"That's more like it!" he grinned, reaching for his wig.
"You could stay behind…"
His hand stopped just short of its mission.
"… or we could forget the whole thing and pay the fine ourselves."
The hand retreated as my partner's shoulders sagged in defeat. I felt no joy at the victory. If anything, I had been half hoping he would be embarrassed enough to take me up on my suggestion of abandoning the project. I should have known better. When there's money involved, it takes more than embarrassment to throw Aahz off the scent… whether the embarrassment is his own or someone else's.
"All right, everybody,"- I called, hiding my disappointment. "Are we ready to go?"
"Remember your sunglasses!" Tananda added.
That was the final touch to our disguises. To hide our non-red eyes, each of us donned a pair of sunglasses. Surveying the final result, I had to admit that aside from Tananda and Chumley, we didn't look like us. Exactly what we did look like I wouldn't venture to say, but we sure didn't look like us!
"Okay," Aahz chimed in, his discomfort apparently behind him. "Does everyone have their marching orders? Vilhelm? Are you sure you can track us on that thing?"
"No problem," the little vampire nodded. "When things get slow around here I use this rig to do a little window peeking right here in town. Covering the streets is even easier."
"Remember," I told him, "watch for our signal. When we catch up with this Vic character, we're going to want you to get some responsible local witnesses there chop-chop."
"Well now," Aahz grinned evilly, "you don't have to be too quick about it. I wouldn't mind having a little time alone with him before we turn him over to the authorities."
My heart sank a little. Aahz sounded determined to exact a bit of vengeance out of this hunt, and I wasn't at all sure he would restrict himself to Vic when it came time to express his ire. I think Tananda noticed my concern.
"Ease up a little, Aahz," she said casually. "I don't mind helping you out of a tight spot, but count me out when it comes to excessive force for the sake of vengeance. It lacks class."
"Since when did you worry about excessive violence?" Aahz growled, then shrugged his acceptance. "Okay. But maybe we'll get lucky. Maybe he'll resist arrest."
I was still worried, but realized that that was about the most restraint I would get out of my partner.
."Now that that's settled," I said, producing Luanna's scarf, "Pepe, take a whiff of this."
"Enchanting," he smiled, nuzzling the piece of cloth. "A young lady, no? Eef ze body is as good as ze aroma, I will follow her to the end of ze world whether you accompany me or not."
I resisted an impulse to wrap the scarf around his neck and pull.
"All right, everybody," I said, retrieving the scarf and tucking it back into my tunic in what I hoped was a casual manner. "Let's go catch us a renegade vampire."
Chapter Seventeen
"The trail's got to be 'round here somewhere!"
IT was only a few hours short of sunset as we set out on our quest, a nagging reminder of exactly how long our efforts at physical disguise had taken. We had agreed to avoid following Pepe as a group so as not to attract attention. Instead, we moved singly or in groups of two, using both sides of the street and deliberately walking at different paces. The faster walkers averaged their progress with the slower by occasionally stopping to look into shop windows, thereby keeping our group together without actually appearing to. Tananda pointed out that not only would this procedure lessen our chances of being noticed, but also that it would maximize our chances for at least some of the group's escape if one of us should be discovered… a truly comforting thought.
Even though Luanna had claimed to have been watching for us at the Dispatcher's, it had been so long ago I fully expected her scent would have long since dissipated or at least been masked by the passage of numerous others. As such, I was moderately surprised when the werewolf signaled almost immediately that he had found the trail and headed off with a determined air. Either her scent was stronger than I had thought, or I bad grossly underestimated Pepe's tracking ability.